NOTE: All characters from Kick-Ass belong to the creator, not me. The only person that belongs to me is Izzy. This is my first attempt at writing anything besides school papers so it might suck a little. criticism is appreciated because I would like to improve. thanks :)
I used to think that superheroes were just stories. Like fairy tales, except way cooler. But then my parents died and I moved in with my cousin and my uncle and my life changed... forever. But maybe I should start from the beginning.
Chapter One:Hugs and Facepalms
I was looking out the window of my second story bedroom thinking of means of escape. It's not that I hated my uncle's house! It's just that…well…..I didn't particularly enjoy it either. I was thinking about painting the dressers purple...or maybe red…NO Neon green…yes that's it, neon green! Then I was rudely hugged from behind.
"Oh Izzy!" my cousin yelled in my ear as he hugged me. "You got so big!". I yelled back "Well no shit Sherlock! We haven't seen each other in like 8 years! Now release me before you feel my wrath!" I finished with a laugh. Then my cousin mumbled a soft sorry and set me down. "Damn Davey!" I yelped, "You got tall…but you're Jew fros still as fabulous as ever!" I said with a wink. Davey is Dave Lizewski, my dear, dear cousin who is older than me by 3 months and never lets me forget it! The bastard. But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. He looked down at me, rolled his eyes and said "I'm not that tall. It's just that you're only what, 5'6?" I looked up at him and said with a smirk "I'm 5'6 and a half thanks you very much! Don't rub it in; I know you're like 6 feet tall."
My name is Isabel Lizewski, but I prefer to be called Izzy or Iz. I used to be called Bella but then Twilight came out and that dumbass Bella Swan totally ruined it for me. But Dave had been calling me Izzy my whole life, so it worked out. I am 17, 5'6 and a half, and have dark brown hair with one bright blue highlight in it. I am going through my Scott Pilgrim VS. The World phase, OK! I never know when to shut my mouth and always told the truth, which always got me in trouble. But back to the story…..
Dave pulled me into another hug and picked up my dyed blue highlight and said "Well this is new!" I just laughed and said "Well you can't expect me to keep the same hair style forever! After all Ramona Flowers IS one of my role models!" Dave then did the most epic face palm I've ever seen. It was so forceful that it sent his glasses flying off of his face and into the garbage can which was halfway across the room. I just walked over to the garbage can, looked down and saw his glasses in there and fell to the ground and started laughing like a hyena. He rolled his eyes and walked over to get his glasses, kicking me in the ass on the way.
"OWW! What was that for!" I stood up and rubbing the spot where he had just kicked my poor butt. "Well that was to get you to stand up princess." He smiled while putting his glasses back on. "We are going to the comic book store." My face lit up like a fat kid who had been locked in the Hershey chocolate factory overnight! "YAY! YAY! YAY!" I yelled. "Atomic?" Dave nodded. I went back to yelling. "I'm gonna buy comics, and candy, and….." I continued as we walked down the stairs ,out the door ,and started walking towards the store.
"….and COFFEE!" I yelled in a deep voice as we walked into the store. Two people look up from the table where Dave already was. I walk over as calmly as I could and hug my two childhood friends, Todd and Marty. Then, I went to get my favorite kind of coffee; a caramel iced coffee, and took my seat next to Dave. And I just began to think about my life.
Yes all my friends are boys. Maybe that's why I act like a boy. I would rather wear cargo pants and a t-shirt, which is what I was wearing now. Black cargo pants and a red Supernatural shirt, than a skirt and a slutty tank top. For example, I would rather watch a horror movie than a chick flick. The only girl movie I can stand is 'Mean Girls' but that's only because of Lizzy Caplan. At that moment I heard Dave speak up and that made me realize that I had indeed zoned out.
"Don't you feel bad for him Izzy?" Dave asked me. I asked who and he merely nodded towards the door. I looked and saw a boy about our age with dark hair, pale skin, and dark brown eyes, dressed in a flannel shirt, pants, and a suit type coat walking in with a big black bodybuilder behind him. I frowned and then smirked and said "Dude! He's like really pale..." I trailed off and the three guys leaned towards me anticipating the rest of the sentence. I decided to not leave em hanging. "I wonder if he sparkles in the sun!" I said rather loudly, with a smile, drawing attention from the other customers.
Then Dave spoke the words that if I could get in the car with the professor dude from 'Back to the Future' and do 88 and take back anything, I would make him not say it. "Why doesn't somebody go talk to him!" Then Todd and Marty both turned pale and shook their heads "No way dude." Todd said. Then Marty said "Dave should do it." I looked to my right at Dave as I sipped my caramel flavored iced coffee, smiling like a little kid and kicking my legs under the table. Dave shook his head too. Then he said "Iz should go. You'll go right Izzy? Iz? ISABEL!" He yelled my name the last time, so I slammed my coffee down on the table and whispered "Fine! But just so you know, you three are the biggest pussies I've ever had the displeasure of meeting in my whole life!" And with that, I stood up from the table and turned and started to sulk in the direction of that poor, pale boy.