A/N: So this is it.
Chapter 2 – One Fine Happy Ending
"So? Did you finally ask out the hot momma?" Emmett asks. "Seriously Ed, you're becoming an annoying prick because you haven't gotten any in so long. In fact, I think your maidenhead might've grown back. I'll check it if you want. I do that shit all the time." He walks towards an empty table before I respond. Good thing, because I want to punch him because of his annoying comments. I wonder again why I meet him for coffee twice a week. Oh yeah. He's my best friend and brother-in-law and I have no life.
I grimace when I think of Emmett wrist deep in female parts. I know it's his job and I have nothing against vagina (nor have I had any part of me inside vagina for at least a year), but that's just wrong. I wonder what sort of patients Dr. McCarty, OB/GYN, has. Ugh. I remember that's how my sister met him and I throw up a little in my mouth when I picture stirrups, gloves, and Rose. Thankfully, my order is ready and I get my coffee and sit down with Em.
"Well? The MILF? You said you were going to do it." Emmett sips his giant latte while giving me an expectant look.
"I am. I almost did. She just ran off, though," I admit, embarrassed at my failure. You'd think I'd be better at getting dates even though I haven't had one in ten years. I've been told I'm an attractive man. Women usually fall all over me. Just not the woman that I really want all over me...and under me.
"I told you to use the crooked grin. Girls love that shit. Do I need to give you more pointers? I think Rosie get all of the seduction skills in your family. And I know Esme is out of control. Talk about a MILF," he adds with a smirk.
I nearly spit out my coffee. "I told you not to ever tell me about how hot my mother is, Em. Fuck, that's just..." I shudder in my seat as Emmett wags his eyebrows.
"Just sayin' your family has good genes. And her ass looks good in jeans, too." He ducks when I launch a chunk of bagel at him. He loves to provoke me. He's lucky I know he's kidding.
He is kidding, right? I'm going to pretend that's true.
"How the hell does Rosalie put up with you, Em?"
"Well, I am handsome, gainfully employed, and charming. But I really think she loves me for my giant co-"
I throw the rest of my bagel at his face.
He's lucky he's family.
At work I prep for my exclusive interview with Embry Call, the football player that was recently convicted of steroid trafficking. He's supposed to give me the dirt on the others involved in the scandal. It's a story that could take me to another level. I'm well-known for my investigative reporting here in Seattle, but this could get me national attention. As I'm printing my notes, my phone chimes – alerting me of a new message.
Hey, sweetie. Did you see him today?
Who the fuck is Alice and why is she texting me? Did my assistant add a new contact to my phone?
I text back:
Sorry, I don't think we've met. Who is this?
The response is immediate, but just as confusing. It can't be a wrong number, because it clearly says it's from "Alice."
Seriously, what the fuck?
Just flash the man the goods already. Or tell him how you feel. Whatevs. Just jump on that before Jessiskank corrodes his junk with her talons.
Wait, I know Jessiskank. I mean, Jessica. This message isn't for me. I look at the screen saver on the phone and it's a picture of Sammy. Crap. Shit. Fuck.
Bella has my phone. I handed her mine at the pier when I was trying to be all cocky and heroic and shit. My mind races as I think of what kind of info is on that phone.
Did I erase all those dirty texts from Emmett? He sends some disgusting shit (apparently, dealing with vagina all day raises one's tolerance for nasty porn).
Well, while I have her phone, maybe I can get a little info from this "Alice." I want to know if I'm the man Alice is texting Bella about. It could be anyone because Jessica grabs most humans with a dick. I send a new text.
What should I say?
Hey, Edward you are the most gorgeous man I've ever seen and I dream about your tongue doing wonderful things between my thighs.
Or, I'd love to run my fingers through your sex hair…while I ride your giant cock!
I don't know which is bigger – my smile, or the hard-on I'm sporting.
She wants me.
No, wait…I want a taste of your sexual chocolate. Haha. That's the best one!
Hmm, I might have to investigate that phrase.
I love you, Alice.
I don't know her, but I think I might love her after our text conversation.
Srsly, just talk to Mr. Smirky. You need to find out if the cocky, conceited asshole thing is just an act.
Love, maybe not so much. Does Bella think I'm an asshole? Maybe that's why I've never gotten a date with her (oh, and maybe because you never asked her, douchebag). Fucking Emmett and his advice. Fucking Mr. Smirky.
I am not an asshole. I just play one in order to impress insanely hot divorcees.
I am a total moron.
He just flirted with me and I ran away. I wasn't late. I was just scared to be that close to the pretty, pretty, man in the suit. It almost seemed like he liked me. You know, "liked me, liked me." Not just as a friend or mom. His eyes were all intense and spring-leaf green and mesmerizing when he looked at me. Who has eyes that color? I'd think they were contacts, but Maggie has the same eyes (but without the fuckhotness factor). If he only knew what that stupid smile and his eye crinkles do to me. It's really unfair to me and my undergarments.
I am banging my head (lightly-I'm not emo or anything) on my desk when Angela walks in with my mocha. She takes one look at me and says, "You totally blew it, huh?"
"Spill." She takes a seat across from me and I launch into the sad tale of my jr. high-like freak out on the pier. She swoons when I tell her how he swooped Sammy into his arms and jumped onto the boat (and I didn't even exaggerate). When I get to the part where I make like a track star, she rolls her eyes.
"Geez, you are lame."
"Oh, thanks. That's comforting. Where's my encouragement?"
"Bella, I told you to dazzle him, not give him dirty looks and run. You gotta give me something to work with."
"Ahhh! And I had on my cankle shoes and he was wearing a suit!" I groan into my hands. "A suit, Ange. Do you understand what this man looks like?"
"Oh, sweetie. I told you that those 'shape up' shoes and a skirt isn't a good look for anybody," she scolds me like a child.
"Okay," I say sarcastically, "I'm not twenty-five anymore. My ass needs all the help it can get." I glare at her as she leaves my office to answer the phone. I get back to work - the one thing I feel confident in. I lose myself in my presentation until I hear my phone. Well, the quiet was nice for a while.
Mom - Good luck today, sweetheart.
Well, that's a nice surprise. I didn't realize that I had even mentioned my presentation. She usually just chastises me for dumping Jake and I hang up on her. I text her a thank you and continue with my work until my phone beeps again.
Oh. Dear. God.
On my screen is the most disgusting pic ever. Is that a...no. Not possible. That stuff can't be coming out of there...and going into that. Who sent this? Emmett. Wait, who is Emmett? I scroll my contacts and...this is not my phone. It's Edward's. Crap on a stick. I need my phone!
Rose - I'm getting Maggie today, right, lover boy?
Great. I'm going to receive x-rated filth and as a bonus I get to read text messages from all of his "women" until I return it to him. This woman is actually picking up his daughter. A freaking gorgeous woman based upon her photo in his contacts. Sigh. I realize that I've seen her before at school with Maggie. Oh god, it's his girlfriend. Before I get too emo, another text appears.
Emmett told me she ran away from you today. Lol. You are so lame.
I am instantly offended by her comments and I furiously type a response.
Edward is not lame!
Crap. I sent that. To the model that knows the sicko named Emmett. I couldn't help it. She was insulting my man. Well, my secret fantasy man.
Referring to yourself in the third person=totally lame. Double douche chills. Maybe that's why Bella won't talk to you. LMAO.
Holy crap. She mentioned me. I can't stop my stomach from doing a nervous flip. I have to know more so I text back.
What about Bella?
Obviously you creeped her out. I told you not to be so desperate.
What would Edward be desperate about? Damn. I wonder if she would mind if I called her and asked, Hey, you don't know me but I'm obsessed with Edward and I desperately need to know what you are talking about. Okay? Thanks.
When I hear the familiar chime, I eagerly glance at the text on Bella's phone. I've learned some new info about the object of my affections through snooping and I'm not stopping now.
Jake- I need to see you, babe.
What the fuck? Who is Jake and why is he calling her babe? I angrily wad up the papers I'm reading and throw them into my trashcan. I grab my stuff and huff out the door to go to my interview. I'm early, but I need to get out of here.
I hear the familiar strains of one of my favorite songs. I glance at the phone. Hmm, "Edward" is calling (well, Bella) - there's even a picture that's obviously candid because I've never noticed her taking a picture of me. I smile and my anger softens at the thought of her adding a picture of me to her phone.
"Hello, Edward," I say, teasingly.
"Haha, Edward. This is very embarrassing for me. I suppose you saw the picture...um, I try to take pictures of all my contacts..."
"Sure, Bella. You know you could've asked. I would pose for you or wear something hot." I hear her mutter something about a "suit" but I'm not sure.
"Anyway...what are we going to do about our phones? I need it, bad. You need to give it to me."
"That's what she said," we both say at the same time. She snorts with laughter. I know then that she's perfect for me...I just need to find out about this fucker named "Jake."
"Bella, I really can't bring it right now. I'm on my way to an interview. Maybe I can meet you?"
"No, sorry, Edward. I can't. I have an extremely important presentation to make in an hour and I have to set up the model for the building before it starts. I could make partner if it goes well. And then I could spend more time with Sammy and not work so much. It means everything."
"Ok, um, maybe I can bring it by later. Maybe we can get din-"
"Edward. You just got a text from Heidi," she says frostily. "She says she's already at the hotel, ready for you. Don't let me keep you from your important 'interview'!" I can hear the disappointment and insinuation in her voice.
"Bella," I say desperately, "It's not what -" I don't get another word in because the call ends.
I'm fucked. And not the way I had planned in my head. That scenario was infinitely more enjoyable.
The phone rings again and I eagerly answer, hoping she's changed her mind. "Bella, I-"
"Hello, this is Garrett. May I speak to Bella?"
"Garrett, she's unavailable."
"This is important. My delivery truck broke down on Pike and I can't get the model to her. I know it's urgent that she get it. Can she pick it up?"
Fuck. There's no way she can get it from her office across town and I know that her presentation means everything to her. And she means everything to me. I tell Garrett to text me the address of where he's at and where it needs to go. I just hope I can make it back to my interview on time.
"Hey, I brought your phone...and some dinner. Can we come in?" Maggie and Edward are standing on my porch with a bag of what looks to be Chinese takeout. "I hope you haven't eaten." He's wearing jeans and a cable knit sweater. Sweet jebus. Can't I ever have on something sexy when he sees me? I falter slightly before realizing I need to respond.
"No we haven't, I just got home not too long ago. Come in, please." He glances around at the photos. He seems a bit nervous - much unlike his normal cocky self. Maggie and Sammy start playing Wii in the den as we exchange forced pleasantries. "I, uh, feel comfy in my pjs," I stammer, pointing to my less than glamorous outfit.
"You look very cute," he replies, then grasps my hand. "I needed to see you, Bella," he murmurs. "Give me a chance." He holds my hand to his chest where I feel his heart beating.
I exhale heavily and gently remove my hand from his. I serve the kids and put on a DVD in the other room so we can talk. The two of us sit on my couch. Edward hands me my phone with a sigh and looks into my eyes. I stop myself from sniffing his neck or rubbing his thigh. "I'm sort of sad to give it up. I feel closer to you now," he says and inches closer to me. Mmm, closer. "I want to explain about Heidi," he urges. "So, Heidi is my photographer."
Ugh, Heidi. I feel the scowl on my face. "Whatever, Edward. You don't have to explain. We don't have...well, anything going on," I say, sadly. I get up and walk into the kitchen. I might need a drink for this.
"But I want something going on with you. You don't know how long I've waited," he says. He's standing behind me. "Heidi was just texting me to say she was set up for the photos of Embry Call for my article. She actually helped me out when I was late for it. That's all," he pleads. "I only want you, Bella. I've been trying to catch your attention for six months. I know that you think I act cocky; I'm not. I was trying to flirt with you. I just haven't been brave enough to ask you out."
"You're shitting me," I blurt out. I clap my hand over my mouth. He chuckles, but his face quickly changes.
"No, but I need to know if you are seeing someone named Jake. He called you 'babe' in his text."
I snort, loudly. "Jake is my ex. He's a total asshole. He drifts in and out of Sammy's life. Trust me, there hasn't been anything going on with us for years."
Edward looks relieved. "I'm happy to hear that. But he did text that he needed to talk to you."
I scroll through my messages. I see the one from Jake. Ugh. He probably wants money. Then I see the series of texts from Garrett saying they can't deliver the model. But I did get the model, right on time. How...Edward...He...My head snaps up and I see the earnest look in his eyes.
"You delivered the model. You almost missed your interview. For me," I say breathlessly as he advances toward me. My eyes are locked on his. I can't look away, nor do I want to. He needs to see me, how I feel, and I need to see him.
"Yes, Bella. I'd do anything for you. You have to understand that. I want-"
With that, I launch myself at him. I have pretty good vertical skills considering that I'm wearing fuzzy socks. I wrap my arms around his neck and he catches me like the muscled hunk he is. I pause briefly to sniff his neck (because I really wanted to do that) before I kiss him full on the mouth. "I want... Edward," I whisper before attacking him with my tongue. His mouth opens for me and I groan when he kisses me back. His hands thread through my hair, pulling me closer. He is hot and delicious and better than I imagined...and I imagined perfection all those nights I spent dreaming of this man.
I'm quickly losing my balance...and my mind. I think Edward senses this (the balance part) because soon I feel the door pressed against my back and Edward pressed against my front. He trails soft kisses across my throat and jaw, rendering me nearly senseless. He runs his hands over my ass and grips my thighs, lifting me up. Gah, he's strong - and he can leap piers in a single bound.
In what seems like slow motion, he picks me up and then I'm straddling him on my couch. It's tongue and hands and lips and it's never been like this before...I've kissed men...but Edward Cullen is not "men." He's probably not mortal. Oh god, can he read minds? This is what we were doing in my dream last night - although I was in lingerie, not flannel pjs, and Edward was shirtless. I wonder if I can do that thingy where you rip open a shirt and the buttons go flying? Hmmm. I don't have time to ponder because all thought goes out the window when he starts rolling his hips under me. Then it's just...mmm...unf...oohhh...yessss...right there...
Oh god," I moan loudly, because I'm almost there...
"Mom!" Sammy calls from the bedroom. "Did you hurt yourself? It sounded like you got an ouchie."
"I'm fine, sweetie. Just watch the movie with Maggie," I squeak out, my breath erratic.
I giggle into Edward's neck. I can feel his chest vibrate with laughter. I sit up, easing myself off of his ginormous erection. I mutter under my breath, "A hard-on like that is such a terrible waste."
"I can always get that hard for you, Bella," he murmurs. "Trust me, I won't waste it when we're alone." Add super-hearing and monster cock to the list of the amazing attributes of Edward Cullen. I bite my lip to keep me from whimpering. Holy crap, he's hot.
"So, um, this," I gesture between us, "is going to happen?" To be honest, I'm pointing towards the monster cock more than anything because that's on my mind right now. Oh, and the relationship would be aces, too, of course.
"Oh, Bella. 'This' is going to happen again and again. I want you...not just for now."
Gah, he's so hot and he has pretty words and apparently he watches The Office. I'm a goner.
"Mom! Maggie wants popcorn! And I'm thirsty!" My son yells from the other room, breaking our little bubble. We both laugh, though somehow I sound like a nervous hyena and Edward's laugh makes me want to lick the honey off of his vocal cords.
"Yeah, so I hope 'that,'" I gesture towards to room where the kids are, "isn't going to interrupt too often, huh?"
"Bella, I can take 'that' if I can get 'this,"' he says as he pulls me in for a kiss. "I'm in for the whole package, Bella. How about you? You haven't said what you want," he says, his eyes searching mine for a clue to my response. He looks so vulnerable...and I realize that I've done nothing except for grind on his lap and moan.
"Edward, I-I'm in, too," I say, breathlessly. "I've wanted this for so long...I just can't believe it's happening."
"Mom! Where's the popcorn?" Sammy yells, his head sticking out of the doorway.
"Ok, baby." I get up to get his snack before he comes out and really starts whining. "Do you want something, Edward?"
"No, I'm good," he answers. Yeah, that's an understatement. When I'm in the kitchen, Edward calls out, "You don't need a snack for yourself, Bella. Apparently I'm sexual chocolate. I wouldn't mind if you had a taste."
Oh crap. I'm never going to live this one down.
A/N: Yay! I completed something! I'm sorry I didn't respond to review replies. I appreciate every comment. I was thrilled to see all of the birthday wishes for my bestie Miss Cosmogirl7481, who actually beta'd this chapter. I couldn't do anything without her.