Hello my dear readers, I know it has been a long time since I have updated last and I hope you can forgive me.

Well, without forther ado I present you a new chapter.

Enjoy.

And I wish all of you a happy new year ^^


Chapter 3

"The taste of my first meal at the orphanage is something I will never forget, the disgusting slimy consistency and the foul taste of vomit as the mush slowly slid down my throat. I sat there on one of the many tables watching my new room mates, how they forced themselves to swallow the gross pulp in front of them, to call it food would be an overstatement. After one bite I only wanted to run out of the room and empty the contents of my stomach into the next toilet, but with one look at the wardens standing nearby, watching us like prisoners, I didn't dare to move one inch so I obediently stayed in my seat and forced the disgusting slime down my throat. My eyes started wandering around the room, taking in the other children around me I noticed the frightened look on their faces, all of their eyes were trained on the food before them, not daring to act out of line. Some were shaking in fear others had a defiant look in their eyes, the will not to give in, not to break under the torture and the pain, written all over their faces. I could feel the pressure weighing down on my shoulders, crushing me with an almost unbearable burden. But it wasn't until some time later that I truly learned what torture really meant.

I was relieved when I was finally back in my room, where I could breath freely without anybody watching my every step.

"Is it always like this?" my voice seemed awkwardly loud with the uncomfortable silence hanging in the room.

"What do you mean?" it was Grimmjow who answered me, the aggressive but defending tone was clear to hear.

"I mean are they always watching us? Is it always like that?" I was truly confused by the ways of this orphanage and the feeling that this wasn't an ordinary place grew stronger inside of me.

"Hm, that was nothing today," it was Yylfordt who spoke up this time, though he didn't look up to meet my eyes.

"Yeah, you remember what they did to Neliel and Nnoitra?" I watched Grimmjow as he pursed his lips in disgust.

"What happened to them?"

"Well, they had a fight in the yard, it was really brutal, and then when the Wardens came it was too late for them to run away," Grimmjow hesitated at that point, not sure if he should tell me the rest of the story.

"You could hear Nell scream over the whole yard, I didn't see what they did, but it must have been bad. After that they were brought to the hole."

"What's the hole?" this place grew more and more mysterious to me.

"It's a place you never want to go to," the dread in Grimmjow's voice actually scared me, if even someone who seemed as strong as him feared that place then it couldn't be anything good.

"There is this place in the basement of the Orphanage, whenever you act out of line you are sent there. It's like a prison. Sometimes you have to stay there for one night but other times you have to stay there for a week or even longer," as Yylfordt explained the ways of punishment of the orphanage to me his voice grew ice cold and his eyes looked to the ground, torture written all over his face. I assumed that all of them had to go to the hole at one point and that the memories weren't something they liked to remember.

I didn't ask what had happened to them, the look in their eyes told me that it haunted them at night just like my nightmares haunted me. I could hardly sleep that night. I dreamt of cold and dark rooms covered with blood, men who chased me and wanted to murder me, and then I dreamt of the thing that didn't let go of my mind in the last weeks- the face of my mother. In my dream she was lying on the ground of the cold cellar, covered in her own blood, her face beat up until she was barely recognizable always repeating my name like a prayer in her hoarse and pained voice. When I awoke, bathed in my own cold sweat the sky was slowly brightening up, the dark clouds gave way to the light blue morning sky. The start of my second day at the orphanage.

After breakfast I silently followed the other students to my new school. The building was just as run down as the orphanage and the rest of the houses in this area, the once yellow paint came off the walls and there were cracks in the walls and the yard in front of the school, the gates, or what was left of them, were rusted and broken down, hanging uselessly on the two pillars which were supposed to hold them up. One wouldn't suspect that there were children who had to go into this pile of trash every day, and to think they actually were supposed to learn something there was insane. Everything here indicated that society had given up hope on us, we were the lowest of the low, nobody cared for us and that was made clear to us in every single way.

I followed Grimmjow to our classroom, we were in one class, a little, cold and mouldy room equipped with hard wooden chairs and small desks, which were scribbled on and seemed to break under the smallest of pressure. Taking a seat in the front next to the window I inspected the table in front of me, scratched into the wood were several obscenities and other vulgar sketches. Then I heard the door clicking and in came an elderly woman, looking like she was just out of bed and had a bottle of whisky for breakfast. Not even looking at the class she started her lesson in a boring monologue which, how I noticed very quickly, nobody paid attention to. Looking back now I can't even remember her name.

Looking over my shoulder I also noticed that most of the children were from the orphanage, I had either seen them yesterday at dinner or this morning during breakfast, the other children I assumed were from this neighbourhood.

The time seemed to fly by and not even once was I asked to introduce myself, I wasn't even paid attention to, even though I was a new transfer student in the middle of the year. I wasn't bothered, actually I was quite pleased, it was never my wish to stand in the centre of attention. It didn't take long until the first break arrived, I welcomed the liberating ringing of the bell that released us from monotone ramblings nobody paid attention to anyway. Once out in the yard I studied my surroundings and the other students. My eyes wandered over little groups of students standing in circles, talking and playing, forgetting the cold world around them as long as they could, then there were some standing alone, minding their own business, trying not to provoke the rougher students. Then my eyes landed on a interesting scene, there was one big boy standing in front of five boys, all of them at least one head smaller than him. Although I didn't hear what was spoken over there I knew perfectly well what was going on, and then when the big boy grabbed the boy in front of him by the collar, shaking and threatening him, I was certain that this was something I should keep out of. I didn't really have a great sense of justice, so I didn't care what happened to those weaklings, as long I could live on peacefully. I must have watched longer than usual, because all of a sudden the big boy was talking to me.

"Hey, what are you staring at? Got a problem with me, huh?"

"Are you talking to me?" my bored eyes looked up to look him straight in the face, I wasn't scared of him, despite the scene just witnessed. I knew how to protect myself, even against bullies like him.

"You bastard..." was his only response as he came nearer to me, getting ready to beat me up. I didn't flinch or run away although I noticed how much bigger and probably stronger he was than me, but fortunately for me he was as stupid as he was strong. I quickly side stepped his punch and told him: "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"What? Think you are stronger than me you little piece of shit?" he bared his teeth like a wild animal.

"There are teachers coming," I didn't want to get into a fight here.

"Where?" he distractedly looked around himself in every direction and I used this distraction to walk away, and made my way back to the classrooms, for the bell had just rung.

"Hey, this isn't over Kid," I heard him scream behind me but I didn't care to look around and watch him make a fool of himself.

Back in the classroom Grimmjow came up to me with an amused smirk on his face.
"What did you do to get Yammi so angry?"

"Who is Yammi?"

"The guy you nearly got beat up by," his lips once again parted in a half amused half gloating smile.

"I wasn't 'nearly beat up' by him," my annoyance must have been shown more clearly than I wanted, because his smirk grew even brighter.

"Whatever you say," with a wave of his hand he walked back to his own seat.

When he was gone I looked out of the window and once again engulfed myself in my own thoughts.

The second half of the school day went by excruciatingly slow. It was always the same procedure, a teacher would come in and teach their lessons regardless if there was anybody listening or not, those who actually wanted to teach us were ignored all the more. It was clear to me that all of them were incapable fools.

The days passed without anything notable happening until one week later. I had gotten used to the most things in the orphanage and was currently reading in one of the more quiet corners in the adjoined garden behind the run down buildings, though it was more of a dump with thrash lying around everywhere and cars passing by, filling the air with their disgusting and poisonous gas. I tried to tune out my surroundings until a shadow cast over me, looking up I found Yammi, lurking over me like a dog over a piece of meat. I had no intention of further remain in his presence, to stay meant trouble, that much was obvious. I made myself ready to leave but as I got up, or rather attempted to, one of his large hands came down, gripping my shoulder harder than necessary. I glared up at him, though my small and skinny appearance lessened the effect of my intimidation and as a result his lips only curled up in a self complacent grin, mocking me with its look alone.

"Where ya thing ya goin'?"

"Let go of me?" I probably didn't display the amount of anger building up inside of me, for he underestimated me greatly.

Not hesitating any longer he readied himself to hit me, judging from his aim it was directed towards my face, but before he could even scrape my skin I quickly dodged him. My advantage in this match was clearly not my strength but my speed, Yammi was a rather corpulent kid, with a lot of muscle strength, but he had neither the wit nor the brain to use them properly. His attitude was to hit until everybody else lay to his feet, and if that didn't work he'd hit again. He also was rather short tempered, he would go rampant, destroying everything around himself if things didn't work the way he wanted them to. Our fight went on for a little while, me dodging and him punching relentlessly, though at some point I wasn't quick enough and he managed to hit my face, tearing my lip and bruising my chin. I actually thought he had broken my jaw, as I lay there on the floor, but I hadn't had the time to think about that, because there were screaming voices approaching us quickly, and Mr. Tousen soon stood in front of us, demanding what had happened. He was a black and tall man, always wearing sunglasses, never revealing his eyes, making him somewhat unable to read. I knew if I said the right thing Yammi would be severely punished, far more than he deserved. Neither of us said anything, the caretaker eventually lost his patience with us and after hitting us both hard in the face he sent us to our rooms, we were not to come out for the rest of the day, meaning we would miss lunch and dinner. As we walked away I saw Yammi slightly nod his head towards me, as a sign for his gratitude, I acknowledged him and we silently walked to our respective rooms. After that incident Yammi became what you would call a friend of mine, though our bond based on the wish to survive rather than the common fondness shared between friends."


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