"Terve! You have reached the personification of the Republic of Finland or, well, my recorded voice since I'm busy or away and can't pick up. Everything you say from here on can and will be used against you~! Wait, no, Estonia told me not to use that message any more… So, please call again later or leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you. … Perkele, that's boring. Estonia, can I please use my favourite message again? I already apologised! Oh, and in case you're Russia, I still won't beco−"
America threw his phone to the wall. No use repeating the same message for the twenty-first time. He hugged his knees and curled up between the sofa cushions, grumbling under his breath. Why couldn't the damn guy just pick up? It was only four days to Christmas and Finland needed an all-important update on what America would like for his present! He had the full list ready and prepared if the guy would. Just. Pick. UP!
America sighed in frustration and, from the husky sound coming up his throat, figured he needed a drink. He flung his feet to the floor and headed into the kitchen, scooped a can of Coke from the fridge and continued his – he was not brooding, just slouching heroically – on a kitchen chair this time. America sighed again. How could it be that it was almost Christmas and he was feeling this bady under the weather? It was the best time of the year! He should be pouncing around whichever town he chose to spend the holidays in, cause his boss and the secret service guys a headache doing that, sing carols and get hyped together with the kids like a hundred times before but here he was, drinking Coke alone in his house and his favourite nation around Christmas time refused to answer his damn phone. Yes, Finland was America's favourite Christmas time nation... at least when the presents came...
The sudden sound of his phone sounded awfully loud in the silent house, and America choked on his drink. He scrambled to the sink and hacked the fizzy stuff out of his lungs (a horrible waste of good Coke, but better in the sink than in his lap or on the tiled floor – nevermind that, he was supposed to be answering the phone!)
Finland? America thought, coughing a few more times for good measure as he ran back into the living room. It suddenly crossed his mind that throwing the phone away in a fit might not have been his brightest idea of the day. About time he calls back, dammit...
He made a final dash for the mobile phone, praying The Imperial March would ring a couple of seconds more. Without bothering to actually check whether the caller was Finland or not; he decided to give the Nordic a piece of his mind, fumbled for the crucial button and found it at the last possible second, and finally lifted the phone to his ear. He instantly regretted it.
"Aaa! Americaa-aa!" The wail carried through the phoneline, into his ear, broke his eardrum, proceeded to make good work of his brain and finally made his other eardrum crack worryingly on its way out to make a valiant effort against the closest wall. America grimaced and held the phone at an arm's reach. When the screeching paused a little; he dared to bring the device near again.
"Yo Korea," he greeted. "What's up man? You broke my eardrum just now y'know."
The Asian sounded on the verge of tears. "Sorry, I'm just so happy someone answers to me."
"So who doesn't?" America asked. He didn't bother getting up from the floor after his mad dash for the phone, just flopped down on the spot, leaned on his elbows and idly began to investigate a fluffy ball of dust. Guess I should've done some cleaning?
"Brother!" Korea exclaimed, sounding very hurt. "I've called him countless times today! You think he's okay? Maybe he's stressed with too much work or then his boss is being a meanie or then–"
"Has it occurred to you maybe he doesn't want to answer?" America grinned teasingly. He was in a slightly better mood already, knowing he wasn't the only one who couldn't reach the person he wanted. In other words, Korea was now his soul mate!
"Brother wouldn't do that to me."
"Okay. Then maybe he's in the bathroom?"
"For three hours?"
"Oh... You mean he's sick?" Korea sounded utterly terrified.
"Or then some aliens kidnapped him."
"Oh, come on, China can take care of himself," America calmed the other down. For some reason neither of them gave a thought to China possibly not hearing his phone or some other logical reason. "But say, is China not answering your calls the only reason you had to call me?"
"No. Japan's not answering me either," Korea pouted at the other end. "Or Finland. I wanna tell him what I want for prese–"
"Hey me too!" America perked up, instantly throwing the idea of cleaning right out the window. "He won't answer to me either. I actually thought you were him calling back to me after hearing my messages."
"Oh, then it's not just that he doesn't think I've been a good boy." Korea sounded relieved.
"Sure you've been good this year," America assured. "But I really wonder where Finland is. Usually he always picks up at this time of the year and his other cell phone is not connecting at all."
"You think he's not kidnapped by aliens?"
"I don't get why they'd be interested."
"They want Christmas presents too?"
"Oh, fuck, of course," America nodded knowingly. He was starting to get worried. "But hey, I know who we can ask. I'll call you back okay?"
America cut Korea off without waiting for an answer and lowered his phone to see the screen. He quickly browsed his contacts and made a new call. It took a moment for the other to pick up.
"Yoo~ Sweden!" America rolled onto his back. "Everything alright at your place?"
"…Wha?" Sweden sounded uncertain how he should answer.
"I uhh, mean… is Finland ok and all?"
The Nordic was silent for a moment. "We dun' live t'gether y'know."
"You don't? Eh, that's not the point…"America shook his head to put this sudden information out of the way of his job. "So have you seen him lately?"
"Wha's this abou'?"
"Nothing, nothing, I've just been trying to call him and well… he's not picking up."
Silence was Sweden's only reply for a long while, and America frowned.
"Are ya shur?"
"Yeah, Korea called him too and− Sweden?" America's frown deepened at the beeping sound that told him Sweden had cut him off. Him, the Great United States of America! Ungrateful, America thought as he dialed Korea's number again to share the little info about his call with Sweden.
"Papa?" Sealand asked worriedly, following Sweden to the front door. "Where are you going?"
"To Fin's," Sweden grunted back. He finished putting his boots on, stood up and turned to give the micronation a quick hug. "I'll be back."
"Mama's?" Sealand wondered, hugging back. "Why?" Sweden usually didn't bother his neighbour just before Christmas because the other had so much work to do. "Is something wrong?"
"Thass wha' I wanna find out," Sweden answered, patting through is pockets for his phone and the spare key Finland had entrusted to him.
Sealand looked on in baffled silence as Sweden hurried out the door and slammed it shut. Now Papa's being weird again, he frowned and turned around to go resume his play. Knight Bamse and his alien corps had just been about to conquer Jerkenglandia when Papa started acting up. But surely Mama will cure him.
Sweden broke into a run as he passed through the front garden. Finland always answered the phone before Christmas. That was just the beginning of the extent he was willing to go to make the party a happy one for all, never mind religion or politics. There was just no way Finland wouldn't pick up. And since Friday? That was three days ago by now. Once he was in the car and steadily making his way to the airport Sweden picked up his own phone again and pressed Finland's speed dial. He listened to the ringback tone anxiously, waiting for someone to pick up.
"Terve! You have reached the personification of the Republic of Finland or, well, my recorded voice–"
A/N: Good Christmas time for everyone: we're presenting you a Hetalia Christmas calender for this year. We: Treyen (author), Fletcher (co-author) and CrescentLilly (beta-reader), all hope you'll enjoy it.
Translations from Finnish:
Terve = Hello. A greeting similar to "moi"
Perkele = A swearing word. Cannot be translated properly.
America's ringtone is The Imprerial March from Star Wars.
Rated T for language, a lots of kissing and France.
Cheru: Thank you for all the wonderful job you've done by now.