Final Fantasy Seven: TFLN Cues
(Texts from Last Night)

Pre-author ramble: For those of you that follow this other story this is just a continuation of the wacky universe that I have created based on the strange and drunken texts from the website, Texts from Last Night. I have surpassed a hundred of these ~ 500 words things and I am still am inspired.
This is just a continuation of the wackiness that is what I do. Warning. Most of my writing is of mature in nature. I like to write Yaoi, so that will appear, you will find everything in these, humour, angst and just down right stupid stuff. I like to mix it up~!
So, here is the first of another hundred... maybe.


Rating: T
BETA: Ziggy Pasta…
Cue: "So the plumber came, …"
Warning: Snerk… Yaoi with an odd couple
Disclaimer: Don't own FF7 Fandom, just using for my own amusement. Do not profit from this endeavour.
Characters: Lazard, Tseng, Genesis and… read on.
POV: Lazard and Tseng

Feathers and Glitter

It was the most interesting and strange bill that he had ever received. He normally didn't pay that close attention to them and just signed off any repairs that needed to be made in the SOLDIER quarters without much questioning any longer.

After all, the SOLDIERs tended to destroy a lot of things and he didn't want to know what they were doing half the time to cause such damage. He swore they sparred in the hallway on a regular basis, and even when they had installed steel walls did not prevent more damage. They had went back to drywall, as it was cheaper to repair and the medical bills were lower. Young SOLDIERs, not quite used to the roughhousing once they moved to the floor, got pummelled regularly into the walls.

Lazard had never seen a bill like that this before.

Plumbing was never usually an issue in the building. That was why he took notice of the company as it was not who usually did the repairs. It was a very detailed bill of materials from suite number 343.

The plumber must have been greatly amused by the stuff he found in the pipes because he wrote a detailed list of the materials he had to dispose of; condoms, feathers and rainbow glitter was listed among the bathtub and showerhead.

Suite 343 was … Genesis. He had just moved into his own suite about a month ago.

He looked at the date of the bill and assumed it was just something new that Sephiroth and Genesis were into. The two were quite insane in some of there antics but he didn't think they were the type of men that would use glitter or feathers.

~well, at least Sephiroth~

The date didn't add up though and that had him even more curious. Sephiroth had been away on a mission during that time. He was aware that Angeal was one of the few straight men in SOLDIER, even though he wondered about his affection towards Zackary on occasion. He knew Zack would roll over for whoever would rub his belly. His next thought was Reeve, but the man was usually into cats, not feathers, even if he was known to have glitter on his cuffs and beard from time to time.

He had long ago stopped calling SOLDIERs in about these bills, demanding an explanation, and he was well aware that curiosity could cause trouble, but this one was so unusual, he had to know.

He dialled Genesis and asked him to come to his office.

"Can you explain this bill?"

Genesis sat casually on the corner of his desk and picked up the piece of paper and frowned at it. "I wouldn't pay these guys. They were inconsiderate and did a crappy job of fixing up my bathroom."

"That is not the question that I asked," Lazard said. "It's the first time that I have seen a bill like this and was curious about the detailed removal costs."

Genesis looked at the bill more closely and at least had the courtesy to blush. "Oh," was the small sound he made as he looked over the bill with him.

"So, can you explain it?" Lazard asked as he looked over his glasses at the auburn-haired SOLDIER, who now looked like he was trying to form a story.

"You do some pretty outrageous things, Genesis," Lazard continued. "Just tell me what this is all about and if I should be expecting more bills like this one."

Genesis dropped the paper on the desk and sighed. "Well, there won't be a repeat performance in my apartment." He stood up with his trademark dramatic flare. "I told him after that time that his shower is bigger, so any repair bills will be coming out of the Turk's budget from now on."


"Can I go now? I am rather hungry and hear that the Second Class SOLDIERs are having a party," Genesis said. "I need to change and grab a few things before I crash it."

"You are dismissed," Lazard said and waved the arrogant man away. He was left with more questions than answers.

He looked at the bill and tried to figure out which Turk would be interested in Genesis. He thought of phoning Tseng to find out if he had any odd plumbing repair bills.

Tseng had never seen a bill like this before in his life. He was tempted to call the Turk in question but knew that he wouldn't get a straight answer out of the man. Rude was the only one that wouldn't crack under the pressure of his stare or questions, and Tseng doubted he could ask him about the glitter and feathers with a straight face anyway.

He signed the bill and sent it off to accounting.


"So the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes." Full Inspirational text.
(Secret fetish for Genesis and Rude… Gah, those two are hot together, if any of you have read Xenobia's stuff you know that this couple is great in one of her story… don't judge me)