Chibi-Kari: This is inspired by last night's episode and, for some reason, Paramore's cover of Love's Not a Competition (But I'm Winning). I don't own and I really hope that they're going somewhere with this. And of course that they bring back Jesse...they have been mentioning him a lot lately. This is just a short little one shot about Rachel's feelings. Please leave me feedback! (Any type is greatly appreciated.)
It was the second time a boyfriend had left her standing in the hallways of McKinley heartbroken. Rachel refused to count the first time Finn broke up with her in a hallway; she had been the one to walk away that time, after all. It seemed a sad story that all of her breakups happened at school and relatively publicly. The only exception was when she and Puck had broken up. It had been on school grounds, but at least it had been private. Finn had broken up with her in the halls twice and Jesse once, although that seemed like a break rather than a true ending. Their true ending had come twice: once in the auditorium and the second in the school parking lot. For Finn it was always the hallways. It was almost like the humiliation had to be public. The whole school always shared in it and he had to show everyone that he was the better one.
Rachel stood with her eyes clamped tightly shut as she had done the fateful day Jesse had walked away from her. At least that time she had the lockers for support. This time she was left in the midst of the dispersing crowds. Out of all the emotions that were rolling inside of her she could still pick out the relief.
Finally, he had seen it. He had finally realized she was unlovable. Everyone else had already come to this conclusion and it was a relief that the shoe had finally dropped. Although she was dramatic she never liked impending doom. And since last year that's all she could feel. She was just waiting for the last person to give up on her. And Finn had finally done it. She had though Sunshine would have been the breaking point. The moment he realized she was a horrible person, but no. In true Finn fashion he waited until it affected him personally. Then he had uttered the words she was waiting for. Granted he had left the description at mean, but she knew he just didn't know how to express how she really was. He couldn't find the words to describe what everyone else had always seen.
Santana and Quinn had already announced it earlier in the week. They flat out told the entire room how horrible she was and no one had disagreed not even Finn. Mr. Schue had given up on her long ago and even stopped hiding his complete disdain for her. Jesse had broken her completely and showed her how much she was worth to him. Nothing. And her mother. Her mother couldn't even stand having her as a daughter. Appreciate each other from a far was the diplomat in her. Shelby had proved just how unlovable she was when she replaced her. Shelby wanted a family, but Rachel just wasn't worth it. And her fathers. They hadn't been around for as long as she could remember. The only person still around for her was Dave, her therapist, and he was only there because he was paid.
There had to be a reason that no one wanted to be around her. There was a reason she was always left humiliated and alone. She had told Kurt earlier how she sometimes imagined her funeral and how everyone would realize how much they missed her, but she didn't believe it. It hurt, but she knew no one would even come when that day came and, finally, today she had proof. She was completely abandoned. It was just that simple. She was unlovable.