Slash, alcohol/drug usage, and profanity.
If you don't like, then don't waste your time reading it.


Nope, don't own any characters whatsoever except Danby.
The idea for the plot was also mine.
Reviews are love.

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Chapter 1, Part 1
Before The Beginning

Toki sat in his bed wide-eyed and terrified. I tried so hard to be good, he thought, biting his lip in an attempt to not to cry. He hugged himself, shut his eyes tight, and tried not to think of how had messed up today. It seemed as though he was messing up with his chores more and more, but he couldn't help it. Each time he made a mistake he was punished, and he hurt so badly that he couldn't eat or sleep—everything was too painful. Swallowing hurt, blinking hurt, breathing hurt. Today he had tried so hard, but he had messed up severely. His father would never let him forget it.

So he laid there perfectly still and barley breathing. From downstairs he could hear the echo of the door opening and closing again; his father was home. Toki began to sob quietly, trying to stifle out the sounds of his sorrow in his pillow. The footsteps were coming up the stairs now, slowly but surely. His whole body grew tense at the sound of his mother's yelling.

"It was a simple mistake, Aslaug! It was just a simple-"

"Anja, we are poor! We can't afford to let him make a damn mistake every day!"

Slowly Toki's door was being opened. His poor mother. Sometimes she tried so hard to calm his father's raging temper, but it never did any good. On occasion he'd even turned on her, although he'd only ever struck her in front of Toki once. After that Anja Wartooth had learned her place and shrank into the background. Tonight was different. Clearly Toki's father was very angry—terrifyingly angry. Toki did the only thing he could do; he put his hands over his eyes and began to pray. His bedroom door opened with a slow, ominous creaking. There was one more moment of silence before his father spoke.

"Toki, get up out of your bed now, please."

His pale eyes shot open. "F-Father? I-"

"Get up now."

"But father, I-"


He rolled slowly over in his bed and turned to face his father. Aslaug loomed over his son, a dark look on his weathered face. Toki obeyed quickly, stumbling out of his bed and looking down at his bare feet. His bedroom door was wide open, and outside his mother watched with a scared expression. "Aslaug," she began. "Don't...please..."

"Leave us." was his cool response. She nodded and quickly hurried back down the stairs into the living room area, eager to continue her reading by the fireplace. Meanwhile Toki was left standing there, trembling and crying. His father glared down at him. "Why do you cry? I haven't hit you yet." the little, six-year-old boy said nothing. Aslaug asked harshly, "Are you scared of me, son?"

Toki nodded. "Y-Yes."

"Yes, what?"

He hurried to add, "Yes sir, yes sir, I'm scared."

"No you're not. Not yet." his father said, glancing at the door to the small room. "Go and be a good boy; close the door for me." Toki stumbled over to his bedroom door—his legs had turned to jelly by now—and slowly closed it, knowing that by doing it he was sealing his own fate. "Good," his father said. "Now turn around and face me."

He did as he was told, letting his brown hair fall into his face and cover the fear and sorrow that was shining in his eyes. Toki knew he had made a mistake, but did it really merit this kind of cruelty? "Are you sorry?" his father inquired coolly, oblivious to his son's tears.

"Y-Yes, father. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Will you do it again?"

Toki shook his head quickly. "N-No sir, I swear I'll do better."


"Yes, daddy?"

"Why do you not look at me when you talk to me?"

"Because I know what you'll do."

"And what will I do?" his father asked, gently pressing a hand to his son's cheek. He almost seemed like he cared about Toki's well being, but the boy knew it was a trick.

Toki still didn't meet the man's gaze; he knew too well that doing so would mean receiving a blow, because his father never hit him when he wasn't looking at him. He always wanted to see Toki's eyes, always wanted to see the pain and the terror that filled them. For some reason that the little boy couldn't imagine, his father actually seemed to like punishing him.

"What will I do?" Aslaug demanded, his voice sounding much more severe. Toki jumped a little and let out a fearful squeak before he roared, "Answer me, or so help me God I'll give you a damn reason to cry!"

"You'll hurt me!"

"You think so? You think you know pain or hurt?" He said nothing, only stifled a sob. His father's hand curled into a fist as he growled angrily, "No, you know nothing, Toki. Let me teach you something, though. Let me teach you how very, very wrong it is to make a mistake."

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Chapter 1, Part 2
New Issues

"Toki, you ammnest okay?" Skwisgaar whispered, gently pressing one of his callused hands to the other man's forehead. "You looks kind of sick."

His pale eyes flittered open. "Huh? Whats? Why you wakes me up?"

"Because you was talkings in your sleep again. I thought you were havings a bad dream." the Swede answered, pressing his body to the Norwegian's. "Ands I wanted something else."

Toki let out a tired groan and rolled over in the bed. "Nos, I already told you I don't feels like it tonight. Not again."

Skwisgaar frowned and rolled his eyes. "Fines, fines! Whatever, just don't you dares ask me why I'm fuckings strippers."

"You ams still doing that?" Toki asked, glaring over at him. "I thoughts I told you that if we were together, then-"

"Ja, well what can I do? You're never horny when I ams, so there. Whats the fucks ammnest I supposed to do? Jacks myself off?"

"You coulds just try not cheating on me." the Norwegian responded coldly, throwing the covers of Skwisgaar's bed off of him and groping around for his pants. "Where ams my clothes?"

The Swede arched a brow. "You're leavings? You never leaves after sex."

"I needs time to think."

"You nevers just think," he sneered in derision.

"Wells maybe I'll start tonight." Toki retorted, switching on the light.

Skwisgaar let out a hiss at the sudden brightness and ducked under the covers. He threw a pillow at the other man and yelled, "Turns it off! What the hell ammnest you doing?"

Toki said nothing as he slipped into his underwear. The Swede just watched him, peeking out occasionally from under his white covers. "You knows you wants to dos it with me again." he finally dared to say, trying his best to sound seductive.

"No, but I knows I wants you to stop cheating on me."

"You're still stuck on 'dat?"

"Ja, I ams!" Toki said as he pulled on his jeans and zipped them up. "I'm so tired of yous just thinkings that I'm like everyone else, treating me likes one of your stupid fan girls!"

"But you ammnest just like everyone else, littles Toki," Skwisgaar said, sitting up in his bed.

"Well you shouldn't think of me likes that."

"Whys not? You don't think you're a person?"

"It's nots that, it's just..." Toki's voice trailed off and he sighed; he thought for a moment before continuing. "Looks, I loves you. You ams not like everyone else to me, not likes anyone else in the world. I woulds never fuck anyone other thans you." and he looked up and gazed into the Swede's blue eyes. "Don'ts you feel like that about me?"


He nodded. "Ja, honestly."

Skwisgaar shook his head and said flatly, "Nopes. Yous ams good to fuck with, but I don't loves anyone. I guess I loves you, but nots like all that. I wouldn't gives my life for you or anything." he waited a moment for his words to sink in before boldly reaching forward and placing his hands on Toki's hips. With a single little bit of effort, he had the Norwegian on the bed again and was kissing him. "Comes on," he panted, "let's just dos it one more time tonight."

"Ams it always just one mores time for you?"

He laughed and nodded, kissing Toki on the lips as his fingers worked to unbuckle the Norwegian's belt. "You haves no idea."

And he just laid there for a moment, feeling the Swede's warm touch, before pulling away and pushing him back. "You knows something?" Toki asked coldly. "It must reallys be bad to be you, Skwisgaar."

"Whys do you mean?"

"Looks at you; you haves to fuck everything you sees. You must be horny all the times."

Skwisgaar nodded and tried to pull Toki back into his arms again. "Ja," he breathed, "I ams, so comes on and lets me fuck you."

"Whats about when you wants to fucks me again and I don't let you?"

There was a pause before he said, "Then I'll kicks you out and get someone else."

Toki sighed and pulled away from the Swede. "Fines." he muttered, removing his pants. "You wants to fucks me, then dos it. Make it quick, though."

"Fines, okay." Skwisgaar answered, watching the Norwegian's every move with hunger in his eyes. "Just hurrys up and gets naked."

"So you ams not going to kicks me out, right?" Toki asked, concern flashing in his eyes.

He thought for a moment then said, his voice a whisper of hot desire, "No, maybes not. I'll see how I feels in the morning, if I'm not bored with yous yet."

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Chapter 1, Part 3
Defining Desperate

The next morning Pickles, Nathan, and Murderface all sat in the dining room in silence. When Skwisgaar and Toki came in they all focused on their individual plates of food, determined not to meet either one of the two men's gazes. This was an impossible task for Pickles, however, because Skwisgaar sat down right next to him and pulled Toki down into his lap.

"Comes and sit right here."

"Nos, Skwisgaar. I already tolds you that-"

The Swede narrowed his eyes at Toki and hissed in an undertone, "Don't you remember what I tolds you last night about not doings what I say?"

"You kicks me out?"

He shrugged and said loftily, "I ams staring to gets very bored with you ands your stupid questions."

Toki immediately complied to Skwisgaar's request and sat in his lap."You ams happy with me now?"

"Almost, but tries not to talk too much today and I may keeps you around."

"Nots talk? But whys-"

"Because after a while your voice ammnest give me a headache." he answered almost snappishly, drinking some of his coffee. Pickles had to try hard to keep his attention to his own plate, but Skwisgaar wouldn't let him. He glanced over at the drummer and asked offhandedly, "Sos how did you sleep, Pickle?"

"Good, I guess." he mumbled, stabbing at his eggs with his fork. "What 'bout you?"

"Me and Tokis didn't get much sleep at all." Everyone squirmed in discomfort at this answer, but Skwisgaar didn't notice. He was too busy running his slender fingers thru Toki's hair. "You should lets it get longer," he whispered to the guitarist. "Lets it grow out just a littles more. I likes it long."

"Okay, Skwisgaar, sure. Whatever you likes."

He gave Toki a demeaning little smile. "Ja, whatever I likes. Now you're learning."

Pickles tried hard not to laugh. Ever since Toki had started going out with Skwisgaar, things had been turned upside down in the Mordhaus. It was complete insanity, and the one suffering ht most was obviously Toki. Nobody understood why in the world he stayed with the Swede and chose to put up with his bullshit day after day. As a general rule, everyone tended to just minded their own business.

After breakfast Toki usually went back up to bed with Skwisgaar, but today was different. He stayed downstairs in the living room with the others, determined not to give into anymore sexual advances from the Swede. This inevitably lead to him storming out of the house in an attempt to find solitude. Before leaving he turned to Skwisgaar and shouted, "Fucks off for once! I already told you I'ms too tired, so why do you keeps pushing me?"

"Because I'ms not too tired!"

"But I ams!"

"Do you thinks I care?" he demanded, chasing after Toki. "Do you thinks I give fucks how you feel? If I dids, I would have asked you."

The Norwegian just walked away from him, ignoring the prying glances from the other band members. Once he had left, Skwisgaar went stomping up to his room. "Stupids idiot," he mumbled to himself as he went. "Thinks he can tells me when and when nots to be horny..."

Once they had both gone their separate ways, Nathan let out a loud, irritated groan and closed his eyes. "That's it! I can't take this fucking bullshit anymore! We've got to break them up!"

Murderface nodded and said in agreement, "Yeah, and I'm shick of sheeing them all over each other—it'sh grossh!"

Pickles just shrugged and stared blankly at the television screen. "I've seen grosser stuff from Skwisgaar. We all have."

"Why is Toki even staying with him?" Nathan wondered. "Skwisgaar's a total dick. Why doesn't he-"

"Dude, maybe we should just leave it alone," the drummer interrupted, stretching out lazily on the couch. " 'Cause we did agree 'dat we wouldn't get into the personal lives of other members of the band, right? Way back when he first gat together we agreed that, didn't we?"

Murderface frowned. "Well yeah, but thish ish different. I mean, thish ish like the rest of Toki'sh life."

The drummer gave him a doubtful half-smile. "Do you really think they'll be together that long?"

"If Toki won't break up with Skwisgaar and if Skwisgaar won't break up with Toki, then yeah, they could be." Nathan turned pale. "This could be bad."

"We're talking about the fate of the band, here." Murderface added, a deep frown on his face. "Thoshe two dildosh could ruin ush and make ush poor."

Pickles' eyes grew wide. "Wait, so you mean 'dat we would stap getting money?"

"Who wantsh to buy mushic from a couple of homosh?" he lisped, spit flying from between his lips. "And I'm not gonna shtick around and watch them fuck each other, sho-"

"Yeah, but that's not a problem because we could replace you." Nathan said, shrugging this last part off. "But that other stuff does sound pretty bad..."

"Yeah," Pickles said, sighing. "Pretty bad."

And in the back of his mind he began to think. Why was Toki with Skwisgaar? It was clear that the Swede put him thru bullshit daily, so why was he even trying? He almost seemed...

"Desperate." Pickles mumbled to himself.

Nathan glared over at him and asked in his deep, harsh voice, "What'd you say, dildo?"

"I...uh..." the drummer turned red as he shook his head. "Nothing. I didn't say nothing. Where'd Toki go again? I've gatta talk to him real quick."


"Yeah, thanks." and he hurried outside after the Norwegian, that one word still searing itself into his brain. Desperate.

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I wanted to wait and publish this one during Christmas break, but what can I say? I love waking up and reading reviews, especially on annoying Monday mornings. [^_^] Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Wildflower, because there is much more to come. And a little F.Y.I—I will be including bits of original poetry in this story; I know that they're not that great, but bare with me. I wrote the little poems down while waiting in the car for my mom to go in to this place and buy some burgers, and I wanted to include them in this story. So besides all that good, grand shit remember that reviews are appreciated.

Special thanks to Otherwise Known As. . ., Slegger0404, Panic, ANON, DownMoon, & Riri-kins for reading and reviewing my stories. Thank you guys so much!

Peace & Love