This is the Gundam Kaizer speaking, and this is a crossover between Neon Genesis Evangelion and Ghost Rider. Now that set-up has been taken care of, we can FINALLY get the plot off the ground!
Also, I expect that you all give a big ol' round of applause to Marq FJA over at TVTropes, who recommended this on an Eva fanfic thread and continually inspired me to work on this chapter a bit faster.
By which I mean he wanted a new chapter for Christmas.
Disclaimer: If I make reference to something that is obviously owned by someone else, then... well, obviously, it's owned by someone else and not me.
When we get to the fight scene, feel free to insert 'Fight On!', the boss music from Final Fantasy VII.
The year is 2015, and in Northern Japan, Shinji and Yui Ikari had just rendezvoused with Clifford Byron Mustaine II, better known as the current Mephisto outside of a local convenience store.
Just as Cliff was about to hand out his bounty hunter's next assignment, however, his cell phone rang. Not his black one that used for hell-related business, his other phone.
The white one.
Flipping his mobile open, Mephisto answered it. "Yeah? … Well who the hell else would it be, the Virgin Mary? … I'll speak however I want to you, I'M THE KING OF HELL, DAMNIT! … Anyone ever tell you how much of a dick you are, Met?"
However, the voice on the other side said something that have been extremely important, because at that moment Mephisto lost all of his previous joking behavior, becoming completely serious. His body language said a thousand things, all of which could be summed up as 'Oh shit.'
As the color drained from his face, Mephisto asked, "How many? … Six as of last headcount, you say? Well, if you've really sent an agent or two to try and keep an eye on the situation and help us out, then I guess it's not that much of a prob- Wait. WHAT was that last name? Oh fuck, not him… … The fuck is his problem, anyway? …. Oh come on, surely you shit me, Met. … What?! But that's just retarded! I may not have been there for it, but even I know that it's been way worse than it is now, and LOADS of times at that! And the way I see it, you guys shouldn't be allowed to interfere with the kiddies until the Big G himself says otherwise, and you told me he's been hush-hush about it all, right? …. Well, no, of course I don't report to 'im directly, I'm the King of Hell, damnit! Even so, I still run my operation under a mandate handed down by the LIVING! TRIBUNAL! ITSELF! Which is an authority even higher than your boss. … No, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, ya damn jackass! You sanctimonious pricks keep telling me to communicate more often, and when I do, you take everything I say completely the wrong way! … Yes, of course I'll give him the mission. … That was uncalled for, asshole! Just because I get sidetracked easily doesn't make me a ditz."
Huffing in exasperation, Mephisto flipped shut his phone, looked at the mother and child before him, and with a shrug, said, "Jackass Archangels. What can you do?"
At this, Yui and the fifteen year-old Shinji just glanced at each other bemusedly.
Shaking his head for a moment, Mephisto then began pacing back and forth as he said, "Okay then. Just got a call, straight from the top. Well, not really the top, given that there are loads of cosmic beings higher up on the totem pole, but the top as far as the Pope is concerned. Anyway. Your mission, regardless of whether or not you choose to accept it, is to mosey on over to Tokyo-3, Japan."
Wary of the conversation held a moment ago, Yui asked, "Now just hold on a second. You kept referring to the other person as 'Met'… please tell me that you weren't just speaking with Metatron, the voice of the Almighty himself…"
"Sorry, personal policy – can't lie to a lady. Although there are, in fact, numerous entities that are even Almightier than him. Don't ask how that works, I don't know either. Anyway, turns out that six of his Angels have decided that because Humans Are Bastards, you no longer have the right to exist. So they're coming down here to put an end to your race. Even though humanity today isn't even one-twentieth of the bastardry they had during the Crusades. Aaaaaaaaand I keep getting sidetracked, need to watch out for that. Anyway, Shinji my man, you need to head on over to Tokyo-3, where you'll be on standby preparing to deal with the Fallen Angels as they arrive."
Shaking his head without a care in the world, Shinji asked, "Which Angels are coming to be struck down?"
Sighing, Mephisto replied, "Cheap bastard wouldn't name them all, just told me that the first three are probably gonna be Sachiel, Ramiel, and Gaghiel, the Angels of Water, Thunder, and Fish respectively. Oh yeah, and he told me that at some point, freaking Zeruel's gonna show up, and he won't be on our side. So be careful if you run across him, and don't hesitate to call for backup. I may not be able to do much myself, but at the very least I can track down the other Riders and send them to you. One other thing – they're sending out two other dudes who'll be on our side. One's on loan to help fight against Zeruel, the other is something like a sleeper agent among the fallen."
Then, the King of Hell turned to Yui and said, "Meanwhile, I've got a job for you to take care of as well, Yui. Yes, that means that the two of you will be separated for the next year or so, HOWEVER!"
Having raised his voice to pre-emptively quell their reactions, Mephisto eventually continued, "If the two of you can pull off your respective tasks, then I swear on my title as King of Hell that I will grant each of you one wish. Given the size of the combined mission before you, I should be able to do so without any sort of limit. Immediately end Shinji's service as the Rider? Not a problem. Craft a proper humanoid body with the soul correctly connected, thus restoring Yui's biological humanity and ability to age? Not a problem. Render the both of you near-immortal and with your present abilities intact, but as free agents, therefore with loyalty only to yourselves, so that you can be together until the end of time as your own masters? Not. A. Problem. And without an additional cost either, since you'll have paid for it with what I'm asking of you now."
Eyes gleaming with excitement, Shinji immediately stepped forward and said, "I'll take the assignment. I don't really have a problem with living forever with these powers, but that's really a secondary concern to, y'know, saving the world."
Mephisto smirked a little to himself and nodded. "Of course! By the by, Met said they'd probably be in their Angelic forms. It's... not something you're gonna be comfortable with, but rather something monstrous. We're talking the size of your standard Kaiju here. So don't hesitate to bust out your Retribution state if it looks like you're gonna need it."
Suddenly, the fact that they were talking about Angels in the context of Tokyo-3 caught up with Yui, and she said, "What about the Evangelions? NERV – top-secret organization I was one of the main brains for – created them to fight Angels, the coming of which were prophesied in the Dead Sea Scrolls."
Interested, Mephisto raised an eyebrow. "Oh REALLY now? Tell me about these Evangelions. Since we're talking about the messengers of God at their full power, logic dictates that these Evangelions must be the mortal enemy of all Kaiju – the Super Robot!"
"Erm, sort of. We actually cloned a few Angels which we codenamed ADAM and Lilith, then repurposed them to be cyborgs. But to make them work, we need to power it with a human soul, and the pilot needs a strong bond to said soul. And my soul was used for the test type, Unit-01. An Evangelion effectively functions like a Super Robot, though."
"I see. In that case, Shinji, see if you can get access to Eva Unit-01 and start kicking ass with it. While you go ahead on over to Tokyo-3 now, I'm going to iron out the details of Yui's mission with her, and then that will be that."
Shinji nodded, getting on the bike he'd 'liberated' from his most recent target and revved the engine a bit before suddenly turning it off, going inside the store, and coming back out with a road atlas. Muttering to himself as he worked out the best way to reach Tokyo-3, Shinji eventually nodded, stuffed the atlas in a pouch strapped to the back of the bike, and then rode off like a bat out of hell.
Not even a mile out, he'd taken Rider form and turned the bike into its hellcycle form so he could make the half-day trip in a couple of hours.
However, there is a certain fact that mst be taken into account when dealing with the supernatural, and that fact is that time flows differently in different planes of reality, and at inconsistent rates. At one time, Heaven might be millienia ahead of Earth – at another, Earth may have a ten minute lead on Heaven.
For this reason, while the Angels had only just then gone rogue from Heaven's point of view, the first to arrive on Earth had already done so twelve hours ago.
So when the Ghost Rider arrived in Tokyo-3, he was greeted with the view of a city halfway destroyed, a giant monster on the loose... and an orange cyborg of equal size with a building shoved through its chest, limbs scattered across several blocks.
"Well... shit. Time to clock in."
With that, Shinji began his hellish transformation.
His bones shattered and reformed, becoming longer and larger to account for the height increase of the Ghost Rider; his flesh, his eyes, and other organs burned or boiled away and the remaining skeleton caught fire.
After a moment to gather himself after burning alive for the zillionth time, the Ghost Rider drew a handgun and took a few seconds to line up his shot.
"Center the target, pull the switch."
In an instant, three bolts of hellfire burst from the barrel, effortlessly burned through the A.T. Field, and impacted against the Angel's back, causing minor explosions and leaving severe burns that Sachiel couldn't regenerate.
Ghost Rider would've smirked, if he had a face. "I love the smell of burnt Angel in the evening."
With that, he ran forward atthe fallen Angel, this time aiming for the back of its leg joint. While he could certainly climb the damn thing if he had to, he'd rather it not come to that.
After a few shots, Hell's bounty hunter switched to his chain, and with an expert toss – and a little psychic guidance via the hellfire running through it – wrapped the brimstone and steel around Sachiel's ankle.
Digging his feet into the pavement, Ghost Rider somehow managed a grin as he muttered, "Timber, bitch," and yanked the Angel's foot out from under him, causing the heavenly goliath to topple forward, impacting the ground with enough force to simulate a decent-sized earthquake.
NERV was, justifiably, in one hell of a panic. First, an Angel had appeared and proved itself nigh-invulnerable against all conventional weaponry – even the N2 mine had had only a minimal effect, having it stop for about an hour to regenerate. And the second one had been completely ineffective.
Then, they'd resorted to sending out Rei in Evangelion Unit-00... and the Angel had promptly proceeded to rip its limbs off and impale the prototype on a skyscraper with minimal apparent effort.
So the Angel had been free to take its time to methodically destroy Tokyo-3 for the past few hours, steadily making its way toward the giant beneath the Geofront.
Then, out of nowhere, a few explosions occurred on its back and on the back of its knee, before the Angel fell over on its face like it had been tripped. And according to the surveillance cameras that had immediately scoured the area, some sort of hellspawn was responsible for it.
Gendo Ikari, contrary to his stoic expression, was rather concerned. First, he had been unable to track down his wayward son for the past few years, which meant that Unit-01 lacked a Shinji to pilot it. And without Shinji, Unit-01 would be forever dormant. And roughly ninety percent of any scenario for Instrumentality – be it his or the old men's – hinged on Unit-01 being operational and the pilot thereof going insane from a carefully orchestrated string of nervous breakdowns.
The scenario could be reworked – perhaps by switching the souls of Units 01 and 02 and arranging for the Second Child to pilot Unit-01 – but doing so could take years, since the two experts on the subject were unavailable to assist. Because they were the souls in question. And even then, that only solved for SEELE's scenario, as Gendo's rather specifically required Yui to be at the center of Instrumentality in order to achieve his reunion with her. Putting Kyoko inside of Unit-01 wouldn't do him the least bit of good.
Gendo took a moment to analyze the situation. Rei would be unable to pilot again for the next couple of weeks or more unless she uploaded to a different body, Unit-00 would take at least as long to get repaired, Unit-01 was little more than scrap metal without Shinji inside of it, and even if SEELE assented to sending Asuka and Unit-02 over to Tokyo-3 immediately, it would still be about a week before their arrival unless she and the Eva were shipped by air.
In the meantime, however, a demon the size of a man was taking on a monster over a hundred times its size, and - thus far – was kicking said monster's ass.
With luck – or, failing that, a miracle – Shinji would somehow find his way onto NERV's doorstep and things could proceed as had been planned.
Gendo said, "It seems that we will have to rely on this newfound x-factor to destroy the Angels until we can find another pilot and repair Unit-00. The x-factor is to be designated with the codename 'Lucifer' for the time being. Hyuga, are the MAGI able to get a read on it?"
Taking a moment to confer with the supercomputer, the technician nodded. "Affirmative, Commander. The MAGI are detecting an intense energy signature from 'Lucifer'. Can't get a read on what the energy is, though, since it doesn't match up with anything recorded in the database."
Misato quipped, "Thing's apparently a demon, why not call it hellfire?"
At that moment, the Angel managed to get up and punched 'Lucifer' into the street, creating a massive crater.
Maya suddenly shouted, "Lucifer's energy readings are rising drastically – the MAGI can't keep up with the rate of increase!"
Even with a force of over fifty tons pressing down on him, the Ghost Rider was relatively unhurt. Oh, he had no chance in hell of getting out of his predicament without a trump card – which he had – but the Angel had only managed to crack a few ribs.
"Soldier of Hell, why do you fight for these worthless humans?! They have long since turned their back on Him and His love – I am merely serving the divine punishment long overdue them!"
Pressing up against a fist fifty times bigger than he was, Ghost Rider decided that it was time for the Retribution state.
"Vengeance will flood through my body."
In an instant, the world was covered in a veil of bloodred light. All across the world, the innocent suffered injustice upon injustice, and cried out for the punishment of their tormentors.
Ghost Rider opened himself up to their pleas, allowing the screams for vengeance to engulf him. The flames turned white with righteous anger.
And, without expending any effort at all, Ghost Rider picked up Sachiel off the ground, by his fist, and tossed the Angel over his shoulder, sending him skidding across several city blocks.
Sachiel, battered and bruised, rose up and glared at the Spirit of Vengeance, before unleashing an energy blast from its eyes.
Ghost Rider merely opened his mouth, and unleashed a stream of hellfire with so much force that the two energy attacks met in the middle and struggled against each other for a second. It was only a second, however, until the stream of hellfire overpowered Sachiel's optic blast and barbecued the Angel's face.
Wasting no time, the Spirit of Vengeance turned to a skyscraper and flash-melted the bottom floor, before heaving it onto his shoulder. One burst of hellfire later, the giant office building had been turned into a makeshift spear nearly thick as the Angel was wide.
Stumbling backward a few steps, Ghost Rider tossed the hundred-story spear at Sachiel, impaling the Angel of Water in the gut at three times the speed of sound. Then, the Spirit of Vengeance leapt onto the end of the office javelin, rebounded, and lunged at the Angel's core in a flying kick.
The representation of its soul destroyed, Sachiel convulsed for a few seconds until it exploded.
The Ghost Rider effortlessly landed on his feet, disengaged the Retribution state, and muttered, "Punishing sinners is my job, you sanctimonious punk."
Calling his hellcycle to him with a snap of his fingers, Hell's bounty hunter mused, "Now then, I need a way to get myself hired by NERV. Since looking them up in a phone book is out of the question – primarily because applying for EVA pilot would likely get me imprisoned, interrogated, and possibly dissected – I need to get them to notice me, and in a way that would prove my reliability as a defender of Earth."
Just before he started trying to work out a plan, his cell phone went off. "Yeah boss? ... Is that a fact? ... I see. ... What about souvenirs? ... Uh huh... A penthouse suite? I guess that's pretty cool... And you enrolled me at the school here in Tokyo-3? Why? ... I'll admit that that makes sense. ... ... Okay, now that's just fucked up. ... Three billion human lives are in the balance, and you're worried about my grades?!"
The Ghost Rider would've rolled his eyes if he hadn't boiled them away. As it was, he had to settle for closing his cell.
The next morning, Shinji arrived at the local school, and was greeted by a brown-haired girl with pigtails and freckles. "I'm Hikari Horaki, the class representative. You must be the new student I was told about earlier this morning."
Shinji took a moment, musing how – for the first time in several years – he'd be forced to interact with more than a half-dozen people at a time on a regular basis.
"Shinji Ikari. I don't go out of my way to make trouble, but if someone else starts giving me a hard time... I'll let you use your imagination."
With that, he strode in and observed the class was half-empty. Shinji took out a sheet of paper and a pen for taking notes, and then he took out a volume of a manga called Berserk for avoiding boredom.
"What's that about, Ikari?"
Looking at the inquisitive class rep out of the corner of his eye, Shinji wryly smirked as he replied, "It's about a hero who never gives up until his enemies are vanquished, no matter how much the world makes him suffer, and he'll never rest until his love interest is restored to her original self."
Completely oblivious, Hikari replied, "Oh, so it's a heroic romance story? In that case, mind if I borrow it sometime?"
... I so want to see the look on her face when she actually takes a look inside. Maybe I should give her the Eclipse first thing? ... On second thought, even I'm not that cruel.
His smirk got a little sinister as he replied, "I'm sure there are a few people in the world who'd call it that, yes. And sure, I'll give you a few volumes tomorrow."
Hikari happily hummed to herself as she resumed her pre-class duties, Shinji muttered to himself, "... Wow, now I almost feel bad about trolling her like this. ... Almost."
Yay for fake symbolism. Except some of it isn't fake anymore. Except that, to balance that out, I may have thrown in some new symbolism that is fake. Except that, if examined in great enough detail and under the proper light, it may not be fake after all.
Best part is, Shinji never technically lied to Hikari. He just left out the important bits that most people would like to know before they start getting into it.
Since it's the season of giving, can I get some reviews?
Merry Christmas, everyone!
"I see. In that case, Shinji, see if you can get access to Eva Unit-01 and start kicking ass with it. While you go ahead on over to Tokyo-3 now, I'm going to iron out the details of Yui's mission with her, and then that will be that. One last thing, though, got this in the mail for ya."
Shinji reached out and accepted the letter, which was a postcard addressed to Shinji Ikari. It had one word written on it in neon pink.
Yui muttered, "I expected more from my ex than that. Judging by the news, he's become such a dickhead since I died. Not to mention that he was supposed to take care of you in my place, sweetie..."
Mephisto observed the card, and how it didn't actually have any specific address on it.
And then wondered how the postal system had known where to send it.
"Ugh, this reeks of a poorly-handled plot point. Best we pretend it never happened."