Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't even own the yo mamma jokes. I found them online. That's how sad I am.
I'm also considering doing a pick-up line story thing like this so if you think I should please tell me or something. Thanks (:
Yo mama's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!
"Potter!" Draco Malfoy shouted during herbology. "Yo mamma's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!" Harry looked as if he wanted to strangle Malfoy, the only things keeping him back were Ron and Neville restraining him. The Slytherins were laughing their butts off, (although it wasn't even a particularly clever 'yo mamma' joke). A great deal of Gryffindors were just pissed, but a few who actually knew what a "yo mamma" joke was wanted to kick Malfoy's sorry little butt. Just as Hermione was about to do something, Professor sprout walked in the room. The trio glared at Malfoy, and Ron mouthed, "This isn't over you slimy git,"
Yo mama's so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!
"We need something epic to get back at Malfoy," Harry said, as the trio walked towards the Great Hall. And who did they bump into but Draco Malfoy. Just as he was about to say something, Hermione cut him off, "Malfoy I heard yo mamma's so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!" Harry and Ron just stared at each other in surprise; they didn't know she had it in her!
"Oh it's on…" Malfoy growled as whipped out his wand, but before he could do anything, the doors to the Great Hall opened, the stream of students leaving engulfing them.
Yo mama's so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore.
The twins and Lee was down a hall when they heard it. "HEY MUGGLE-LOVERS!" The twins turned around, tense and ready to pounce on the first person they saw. "I heard yo mamma's so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore," Malfoy said with a smirk. "ARRHHHHHHH" The twins yelled a war cry type of thing as they jumped on Draco, and started beating him up.
"Insults our mum" They said in that awesome way of theirs. It took McGonagall threatening to take away their Quidditch rights for that year to get them off Malfoy, and even then they looked like they wanted to murder him. Despite the fact he now had a black eye, a bloody nose and a couple missing teeth, he was grinning as he walked towards the medical ward. Insulting the Weasleys would never grow old…
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is a hip hop station on satellite radio.
The Slytherins and the Gryffindors were in the potion room, waiting for Snape who was surprising late. "CRABBE!" Harry yelled, taking advantage of the fact Snape was gone. "Yo mamma's so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is a hip hop station on the satellite radio." The Gryffindors were the ones laughing this time, and even some of the Slytherins were laughing. Crabbe just looked at Harry, not totally understanding what had just happened.
"Uh... what's a satellite radio?" He asked stupidly. Harry and Ron just looked at him, and burst out laughing, and even Hermione was giggling. Snape chose that particular moment to walk into the room.
And that's it (: Until next time, CONSTANT VIGILANCE :D