A/N: So ever since I had to restore my iPhone, BTR is the only thing music-wise on my iPhone. None of my other music was in my iTunes library on THIS computer. Lol. And I downloaded the BTR Holiday Bundle thingamajig from iTunes because I have no self-control. So yeah, I'm listening to Christmas songs even though December JUST started.
Disclaimer: I own Big Time Rush, and am totally making a profit by writing this. You're sooo onto me…If you didn't pick up on my blatant sarcasm, then…I don't even know how to respond to that. *shakes head in disapproval*
It was Friday night, and James, Carlos, and I went over to Kendall's house to spend the weekend. Tomorrow was our second annual Day of Pranks. The reigning Sir High King Lord of the Pranks was James. Last year, it came down to James and Carlos, but James bested Carlos in the end. What place did I finish? I don't really see how that's relevant…
Our tradition was still in its fledgling state. There weren't really any rules other than last one to be pranked wins. This year would be different. I had my eye on the prize. As far as I was concerned, James might as well engrave my name on the crown, because it was only a matter of time before it was mine.
The gears were already turning in my head. A plan had already formed in my head. I would make sure that I was the first one up in the morning. If I played my cards right, I could eliminate my two biggest threats—James and Carlos—early in our Day of Pranks. After all, it came down to James and Carlos last year—our inaugural Day of Pranks.
Without divulging too much, let's just say that my plan involved James' beloved Cuda shampoo and Carlos' lucky helmet. Not that it was some interconnected massively epic prank, because it wasn't. One plan involved James' shampoo. An entirely different plan involved Carlos' lucky helmet.
"I think I'm going to hit the sack," I told the others.
"Dude, it's only 8:30!" Carlos remarked.
I gave an obnoxious fake yawn.
"Yeah, but I'm beat," I said.
"Okay, Grandpa!" James commented.
I rolled my eyes at him, before going off to fetch my sleeping bag and change into my pajamas. As far as I was concerned, they could make fun of me for going to bed early all they want. When I win the crown tomorrow, we'll see who gets the last laugh.
The next morning, I was sitting by myself in the kitchen enjoying a leisurely breakfast. I had already set my plan in motion. Earlier, while everyone was still asleep, I woke up and went to the bathroom. I poured out the contents of James' Cuda shampoo. It would be wrong for me to leave James with an empty shampoo bottle, so I filled it up…with pink hair color. I shut the cap when I was finished, and put the shampoo back where James had it last.
As for Carlos, I hijacked his lucky helmet earlier in the morning. Sixty-four chewed up pieces of Bubble Yum and one glue stick later, and Carlos' helmet had a new lining on the inside. I placed his new and improved helmet right side up on the counter before me in the kitchen.
I looked at the clock on the microwave. It was a quarter 'til ten in the morning. None of us were early birds. However, I did go to bed early last night. Anyways, it was a good thing the others weren't early birds because if they were, I wouldn't have been able to make my necessary preparations for my foolproof plan to eliminate both James and Carlos before the Day of Pranks ever kicked into full swing.
I heard the shower water running. I was curious as to who was in the shower, so I got up, and went to Kendall's bedroom. I glanced inside and saw that two of the sleeping bags were still occupied. Kendall and Carlos were sleeping peacefully. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. This was perfect.
I strolled back to the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table. I resumed eating my cereal, and picked up the newspaper, and buried my face in it reading about the day's news. It wouldn't be long before James was finished with his shower. It was only a matter of time before only two people stood between me and that crown.
Soon enough, I heard James turn the shower water off. I clasped both hands over my mouth to stifle my laughter. I'm pretty sure there was an evil glint in my eye. There's no greater victory than when a plan of yours comes together.
I heard a high-pitched shriek come from the bathroom. I pumped my fist in the air in celebration. One down. Two to go. The next thing I knew, James came storming into the kitchen in a huff. The only thing he was wearing was a bath towel that was wrapped around his waist.
"Who switched my shampoo with pink hair color?" James demanded.
"Who indeed? Hmm…" I said with a smirk.
I held my chin and looked up in the air thoughtfully. I could practically feel the anger come off James in waves. Rather than frighten me though, it amused me. James with pink hair was definitely a sight to see.
"I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't really think pink is your color," I commented.
"You did this, didn't you? Dude, not cool!" James replied angrily.
"Well, well, well. It looks like there will be a new Sir High King Lord of the Pranks this year!" I said dramatically.
Sometime later, I heard a commotion come from Kendall's bedroom. Despite what they say about curiosity, I went to investigate. I found Carlos pretty much turning Kendall's bedroom upside down. Clothes were strewn all over the floor. The sound of things hitting the walls could be heard throughout the whole house.
"Where is it? Where's my helmet?" Carlos asked frantically.
I quickly wiped the smirk off my face before Carlos caught it.
"I think I saw it on the counter in the kitchen," I said.
"Yes! Thanks, Logie! You're the best!" Carlos replied, before scurrying off to the kitchen to retrieve his most prized possession.
You might not think so when you find out what I did to your helmet. I trailed behind Carlos. I didn't want to seem too eager, or else Carlos might suspect something. However, I didn't want to miss a second of this either.
When I made it out to the kitchen, I saw James at the kitchen table eating his breakfast. As soon as he saw me, he dramatically turned his head away from me. I snickered. Sure he was mad at me now, but he'd get over it eventually. We all sucked royally at holding grudges. Besides, he was probably just mad that I had bested him.
"Thanks again Logan for finding my helmet!" Carlos stated.
He picked up the helmet and went to put it on his head.
"Carlos I wouldn't do that if I were…" James started to say.
Carlos put the helmet on his head, and gave it a couple of good pats.
"…you," James finished, but it was too late.
"Hey, how come my helmet feels funny?" Carlos asked.
"It does? Here, take it off and let me see," I instructed.
Carlos went to pull his helmet off his head, but found that task to be much more difficult than he had anticipated. He tugged and tugged, but it wouldn't budge. He started to cry out in pain.
"Ow! It hurts!" Carlos wailed.
Kendall emerged from the bathroom having just finished his shower. He gave the three of us a questioning look.
"What's with all the ruckus?" Kendall asked.
I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly.
"Not much. Carlos just got pranked. Two down. One to go," I answered.
Carlos looked at me with tears in his eyes. If I wasn't one step away from becoming Sir High King Lord of the Pranks, I would feel bad for him. This was war, and unfortunately, Carlos was merely a casualty of war.
"You did this, Logan? How could you? I'm not talking to you ever again!" Carlos remarked, before sulking off.
"Come on, Carlitos! You don't mean that! It was just a prank!" I replied, giving chase.
After Kendall and I had finished booby trapping nearly every square inch of his house, we both went to the living room. The two of us watched each other warily. We hadn't seen much of each other over the course of the last couple of hours. There was no telling what he might have in store for me. I had to keep on my toes.
"You look beat, Logie. Maybe you should sit down on the couch next to me and watch some TV," Kendall suggested.
"I think I'll pass," I replied.
For all I knew, he hid some whoopee cushions underneath the cushions of the sofa. I wasn't about to chance it. Did Kendall take me for a fool?
"You look parched. You should probably get yourself a beverage from the refrigerator," I said.
"Nah. I'm good," he responded.
I looked in the direction of the kitchen when I heard the sound of the refrigerator door open. The next thing I knew, Carlos had egg yolk all over his face. I let out an exasperated sigh.
"Carlos, you saw me booby trap the refrigerator with eggs!" I exclaimed.
"I forgot, and besides, I was thirsty!" he replied, wiping the egg from his face with a towel.
"Ha! I thought you said that you weren't talking to me? You just did!"
"I forgot about that too. Now that you reminded me though, I'm not talking to you anymore!"
I slapped my forehead with my hand. How long will he go before he forgets this time?
"Wow! You really have it out for Carlos this year!" Kendall commented.
I dismissed what Kendall said with a wave of my hand.
"He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time," I replied.
Kendall got up from the couch and walked over to me. His face was straight—too straight. I didn't trust him for one second. Not right now, at least. He held his hand out for me to shake.
"May the best man win," he stated.
"I plan on it," I responded, before spinning around on my heels and walking away from Kendall, leaving him hanging.
Seriously? You're going to have to do a lot better than a zapper in the palm of your hand if you're going to become Sir High King Lord of the Pranks, Kendall!
"Ahh!" James screamed.
I felt like banging my head in the wall repeatedly. What is it with James and Carlos getting rid of all the booby traps in the house? Maybe they should just leave the house entirely for the duration of this competition.
It wasn't long before James emerged from the bathroom. It looked like he had an…accident…if you catch my drift.
"Seriously, dude? Saran wrap on the toilet? Not cool, Logan! It got everywhere!" James remarked furiously.
I pointed and laughed at James. He looked so ridiculous right about now with his pee spotted clothing and pink hair. James glared daggers at me, which only made me laugh even harder.
"Hey! How do you even know I put Saran wrap on the toilet?" I asked.
"It's pretty obvious! You're pointing and laughing at me!" James retorted.
"Yeah, because it's hilarious!"
"Whatever, dude! You're now my fourth best friend!"
"James, there are four of us! That means you have three best friends!"
"I have more friends than you, Kendall, and Carlos!"
"Really? Name one!"
"…Shut up! I have a bathroom to clean now!"
Looking back at it in retrospect, the one bad thing about putting so many booby traps in the house was that you forgot where they all were. To make matters worse, I had no idea what all Kendall had booby trapped.
I was currently camped out behind some plants in the patio in the backyard. I was sporting a tree hat. Mama Knight was in the backyard watering plants.
"Logan, what are you doing?" she asked.
I looked at her incredulously. How did she even see me? I was supposed to be camouflaged, hence my tree hat. Wait a second. If Mama Knight saw me, then does that mean Kendall would be able to see me too even with my tree hat?
"I can't go back in there! This whole place is booby trapped, and I forgot where all I put booby traps, so I'm just going to wait in here and let Kendall get pranked," I answered.
"Is this about that stupid crown?" Mama Knight replied.
"Okay first of all, the crown isn't stupid! Secondly, yes it's about the crown; I was the first one eliminated last year…by myself…this year, it's all about redemption!"
Mama Knight rolled her eyes at me and heaved a sigh.
"Fine! But if I have to take you to the Emergency Room again this year…" she started to say.
"You won't! I promise!" I replied.
I remembered one thing I had booby trapped—the house phone. I pulled out my cell phone and called the house phone with it. I heard it ring once. Twice. Three times. Come on, Kendall! Pick up!
I peeked in through the sliding glass door, and was horrified to see Carlos go answer the phone. He picked it up and put the phone to his ear.
"Hello? Hello? Who is this? Is anyone there?" he asked.
I pushed the 'End Call' button on my cell phone, before stuffing it back in my pant pocket. I watched as Carlos tried to hang up the house phone. Tried being the operative word. It was stuck to the side of his face thanks to the glue I had brushed on it.
"Uh…guys? Can someone help me? I'm stuck!" Carlos called out.
I opened up the sliding glass door, and all but slammed it shut behind me. I threw my hands up in the air out of frustration. If James and Carlos kept this up, I would never prank Kendall!
"For the love of all that is holy!" I remarked.
"Hey Logan, your mom just called me. She wanted to know if you could come home early," Mama Knight said.
I frowned. I had told her that I was spending the weekend at Kendall's. I couldn't help but think the worst. Had something bad happened? Was it my mom? Was it my dad? Was it both of them? Were they in some kind of accident?
"Sure, I'll go get my things," I replied.
As soon as I opened the door to Kendall's bedroom, I was drenched by a bucket of molasses. I was so preoccupied by the thought of something bad happening to my parents that I completely forgot about the bucket of molasses I put above the doorway of Kendall's bedroom.
I stumbled forward, trying to wipe the molasses from my eyes when I felt myself trip over some sort of wire. The next thing I knew, I was falling forward. I landed face first in a pie tin full of whipped cream. That's right. I put that there too.
I was completely beside myself. I had pranked myself again this year! No one could eliminate me, but that's because no one needed to! Somehow, I always ended up eliminating myself! I didn't want to cry, but I was on the verge of tears. I pounded my fists on the carpeted floor.
"So close!" I commented.
I heard a slow applause. That was followed by the sound of approaching footsteps. I rolled over onto my back, and saw Kendall standing in the doorway. He gave his mother a high-five.
"Nice try, Logie, but I do believe that I am the new Sir High King Lord of the Pranks! I knew you wouldn't believe me if I told you that your mom wanted you to come home. That's why I had my mom tell you instead," Kendall explained.
"Wait. So my mom didn't call to see if I could come home?" I asked.
"Nope. I lied," Mama Knight answered.