Leonard was straddling Sheldon's lap, they weren't in Sheldon's spot - he still puts up a fuss about that- but they were on the couch. Sheldon was red-faced and groaning beneath him as Leonard stroked both their cocks with his hand. Sheldon has made a few dry observations about Leonard's increasingly amorous behavior over the past two weeks but he has yet to complain or ask questions.

Both of their mothers are coming to Pasadena for Christmas. Leonard's mother knows all about their relationship. In fact, Sheldon might tell Beverly (via their usual Saturday Skype conversation) that he and Leonard engaged in sexual activities on the couch. They have that kind of relationship.

Mary Cooper has no idea that Leonard has guided her son down the path of sin and vice. For the first time since junior high (when he reluctantly attended a show by a Pink Floyd cover band called "The Effervescing Elephant" to impress a fellow mathlete) Leonard is worried he might get stoned.

He'd spit on his hand but he can't take a lecture from Sheldon. Then he has a better idea.

"Give me your Vaseline lip stuff," he mumbles without taking his tongue out of Sheldon's mouth. Once he has the small tube of Vaseline lip therapy in his hand, he has an even better idea. He climbs off Sheldon just long enough to kick off his pants and boxers before pouncing back into the lap of his partner. He applies a liberal coating to Sheldon's erection before moving his hand between his own legs to prepare himself.

Sheldon bites his lip when he realizes what Leonard is doing. They've been together for well over a year now and, before Mary and Beverly dropped their respective Christmas bombshells, the sex had been slowing down. They usually opted for mutual handjobs or frottage rather than more time consuming sex acts that required more... preparation. Sheldon claimed to be grateful for the increased free time but Leonard knew his roommate missed certain activities. Sheldon occasionally suggested Leonard penetrate him but he never asked for the reverse. It was a strange kind of gentlemanly behavior. This particular act always had to be Leonard's idea. Leonard's mother believed that Sheldon was concerned about making Leonard feel overly feminized since the introduction of some costume play into their relationship, via the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Leonard knew his mother believed this because she mentioned it over lunch the last time she was in town.

Leonard was very concerned about their mothers meeting.

As Leonard tried to guide Sheldon towards his entrance, his roommate argued, "You haven't prepared yourself enough. You could be injured."

It isn't what you would call romantic, but the concern and care Sheldon shows in these moments makes Leonard feel loved and special. It's almost too sappy a thought to even think much less share, but it's true. Sheldon thinks Leonard's well-being trumps his own desire for anal sex. That has to be love.

Sheldon took the small tube and applied some petroleum jelly to his own fingers. Leonard rested his head on Sheldon's shoulder and sighed as the long fingers slide inside. He moans as Sheldon's slim digits carefully stretch him and find his prostrate. He can, and has, come from this alone - but tonight he needs Sheldon inside. He wants to be as close as two people can physically be and still remain two people. He doesn't know what will happen if Mary finds out her son is in a homosexual relationship. He doesn't want to compete with Sheldon's mother for his loyalty. He doesn't want to damage their relationship.

He doesn't want to get dumped. He doesn't want to lose Sheldon.

Sheldon begins moving his fingers in and out until Leonard begins to squirm. He doesn't have to see the smug look on Sheldon's face to know it's there. Sheldon loves how he can reduce Leonard to a moaning pile of goo and, in this instance, Leonard doesn't mind feeding his roommate's ego. Sheldon has put a lot of study into learning every inch of Leonard's body and his research has paid off. Leonard gives credit where credit is due.

"Fuck me, Shelly, I'm ready for you," he groans into Sheldon's ear. Sheldon still flushes at Leonard's more explicit pillow talk. Sometimes, so does Leonard.

Leonard gazes at their Christmas tree. It is a sure sign of Sheldon's love. Sheldon not only allowed the tree, he purchased the tribute to geekiness that was their tree decorations. There were no Santas but there for four Bobba Fetts.

It burns as Sheldon begins to push inside but Leonard can't help trying to speed things up when he should be trying to slow them down. He wants more, he always wants more.

Sheldon tries to hold Leonard's hips still so he can slowly ease his way in but it is a losing battle and soon Leonard is riding him hard. They're sweating through their nerdy tee-shirts in front of their geeky tree - their inhalers inconveniently located in another room.

"Oh, fuck, Shelly. It's so good. You feel so good. I love you so much."

Leonard tries not to think about his dirty talk. He'll only get self-conscious and stop.

Sheldon responds by tightening his grip on Leonard's waist and thrusting up into his body harder and faster.

Leonard doesn't even need to touch his cock. He's getting enough friction from their position and Sheldon is hitting his prostate with every thrust.

"I'm gonna come," Leonard warns.

Sheldon pulls Leonard closer and fucks harder until his shirt is covered in semen and he has an armful of liquefied physicist. Leonard can only hang on as Sheldon uses slower thrusts to find his own release deep inside of his body. He shivers at the feeling of Sheldon coming inside of him. It isn't just the physical intimacy that shocks him in those moments, its the constant surprise that Sheldon allows this. Sheldon wants this. Him.

"Love you," Leonard whispers.

"I love you, as well," Sheldon replies without hesitation.

Mind blowing.


Beverly is ranting about the unfairness of the Princeton IRB. Her academic life was so much easier when she was producing her own subjects. No Internal Review Board for the ethics of raising your own children, you just have to keep the state from getting involved.

"Please, just be careful around Mrs. Cooper. Sheldon isn't ready to tell her about our relationship..."

He can't even finish the sentence. They'll never be ready to tell Mrs. Cooper. Leonard can't bare the idea of the loving Mary Cooper turning her back on him, how could Sheldon ever take the risk?

"I'm looking forward to meeting Sheldon's mother. Her commitment to the patriarchical Christian traditions..."

"No!" Leonard yelled, "None of that! Don't question her religion or anything she does or says! Don't ask questions, don't give information..."

"What am I allowed to say to this woman?" Beverly asked with a friendly tone that made Leonard wary. Kindness from his mother never ended well.

"Just tell her embarrassing stories about me as a child."

Beverly smiled, "That should get us through three days. Easily."

They drove in nearly comfortable silence for ten minutes before Beverly said, "I won't reveal your sexual relationship with Sheldon to his mother but I think you should. Lying about it puts undo stress on each of the relationships involved. You cannot control Mrs. Cooper's reaction but you and Sheldon can determine the course of your relationship regardless of her approval or disapproval."

"I don't want to lose Sheldon," Leonard admitted, tears forming in his eyes as he drove, "Not as a boyfriend, not as a friend, not as a roommate. I don't want to lose him."

"You and Sheldon have a strong relationship built on love, trust and mutual interests as well as a healthy and adventurous sex life... grow up, Leonard... Why are you always so fearful and insecure when it comes to your relationships?"

"Are you being serious?" Leonard asked, gob smacked - as usual - by the obliviousness of his brilliant mother.

"Did my tone imply levity?"


Mary and Beverly were making fried chicken while Sheldon and Leonard hovered.

"Leonard, you never told me your mother was such a good cook!" Mary exclaimed.

"I had no idea," Leonard replied, sincerely, as Beverly seasoned her bacon and cheddar mashed potatoes, "Mother never cooked when I was growing up."

"Yes," Beverly explained in a dry tone, "I was too busy raising three children, completing medical school, teaching classes and writing papers in order to rise to the top of a male-dominated field to make mashed potatoes from scratch. It's amazing you have the time to pick up food rather than have it all delivered after putting 7 1/2 hrs a day in at the lab and spending all night playing video games."

Leonard flushed as Mary smacked Beverly's shoulder, "You tell these little smarty-pants! And, Shelly, I wouldn't be expecting Miss Amy Farrah Fowler to be cooking for you either. That little lady has her own ambitions."

Leonard wanted to throw up but Beverly didn't flinch, "Indeed. I have strongly encouraged Dr. Fowler to prolong her unburdened single life as long as possible. I have often regretted the career opportunities that I lost while having my children. Don't look at me like that, Leonard. Mommy loves you. It was your father who relentlessly pursued his career goals with no thought to the needs of his family."

Mary frowned, "I supposed that having book sense doesn't make a man any better of a father. I understand you and Mr. Hoffstadter are going through a divorce?"

"Indeed. It's been a protracted affair due to our numerous shared assets."

"If it's not too personal," Mary spoke gently, her eyes full of warmth, "What caused the split?"

"He chose a tawdry affair with a university waitress over a forty year marriage."

"Again, I hope this ain't too personal, but are his testicles still attached to his body?"

"Physically, yes. Metaphorically, they reside in my purse with his credit score, reputation and career options."

The women exchanged knowing smiles. Leonard relaxed.

For a moment.


Leonard was dragged from a dream about Santa Claus being hunted by Bobba Fett by the feeling of his pajama bottoms being pulled down. The nerd in him instantly went fetal, protecting his genitals, until he realized it was Sheldon undressing him. He stretched out before remembering where he was and curling back into a ball. Sheldon actually tsked.

"Sheldon! We cannot do this on an air mattress in the living room with our mothers down the hall.

"I'm given to understand the fear of getting caught can intensify a sexual experience," Sheldon explained before taking Leonard's cock in his mouth.

Leonard slapped both hands over his mouth as Sheldon bobbed his head, taking Leonard deeper each time. Sheldon was being unusually aggressive, forgoing technique for speed. Leonard slapped a pillow over his head to quiet the noises that he couldn't quite hold in with his hands as Sheldon brought him from sleepy to fully erect in seconds. Sheldon only paused his assault twice to mouth Leonard's balls before Leonard felt his orgasm approaching like a freight train. He was long past having to warn Sheldon, his roommate could and would offer a PowerPoint on the signs of Leonard's approaching orgasm if asked, so he simply trusted his friend to adjust accordingly. When he felt a dry finger rubbing its way inside of him, he gave in and came with a soft whimper.

When he pulled the pillow from his face, he squinted at Sheldon who was leaning over him and jerking himself off. Even without his glasses, he recognizes the self-satisfied smile on Sheldon's face. Leonard is still tangled in his sheets, his pants and underwear around his knees and panting from Sheldon's oral assault. They've never discussed it directly but it's become clear that Sheldon has a thing for putting Leonard in compromising positions. It's no surprise that Sheldon Cooper gets off on control but it's still a little strange to think of Sheldon as having kinks.

Leonard pulls himself up the best he can from his awkward position and whispers into Sheldon's ear.

"Maybe sometime you should try tying me up."

He expects a response but the splash of semen on his belly is a surprise. Sheldon's fuzzy eyes are wide.

Sheldon has a kinky side, all right.

Sheldon pushed Leonard flat on the bed and kisses him thoroughly before saying, "That sounds like a fine idea, Leonard."

He quickly cleans Leonard's stomach with a wet wipe and crawls back under his covers on the couch.

It doesn't take long for Leonard to fall back asleep but he has just enough time to plunge into neurosis.

Sheldon is just as worried about their relationship as Leonard. On one hand, he feels reassured by Sheldon's unexpected (and fucking hot) ardor but it makes him feel worried that even Sheldon can feel the threat in the air. Things could end in a heartbeat.

Possibly with an exorcism.


"We had all the children tested early, before they had time to learn too much about standardized tests in general and the specifics of IQ testing. The test is flawed enough without adding the artifact of the children trying to control their scores," Beverly explained, "No doubt Michael would have attempted to improve his score to pad his fragile ego while Leonard would have lowered his score in order to 'fit in' with his peers."

Mary nodded, "I imagine that all makes perfect sense. Shelly's the only genius in our family. We never really knew what to do with him. I wonder sometimes if we shouldn't have kept him home longer, let him be a kid. I prayed on every decision but I don't reckon God has very strong opions on graduate schools."

"My father assured me God leans towards Ivy League. One makes one's choices and lives with the consequences," Beverly observes with a shrug as she sips her tea (made to perfection by Sheldon), "I'm sure Leonard could supply you with an exhaustive list of my failings as a mother but he's working at the finest physics department in the country as is Sheldon. I think we can both sleep at night."

"Be careful, Mother, you almost sounded proud of me just then," Leonard teased.

"Don't be needy, Leonard."

"Of course your mother is proud of you, Leonard. What's not to be proud of?" Mary ruffled Leonard's hair in a motherly way that made Leonard blush and feel guilty before she turned and smiled at Sheldon, "I think you're right, Bev. Our boys are doing just fine."

Sheldon did have a separate plate for his peas and his cranberry sauce but otherwise, he was eating Christmas dinner like a normalish person.

"My son, Michael, is a professor at Harvard - very highly esteemed in his field and possibly on his way to political office. I would have preferred he use his intellectual gifts for the advancement of mankind rather than personal glory but I suppose we can't expect our children to live by our values," Beverly spoke in an even tone but Leonard was finding it hard to breath, "There comes a time when a person must develop an internal moral compass and their own value system."

Mary nodded, clearly not hearing the implication, "Your son is a homosexual," is Beverly's words.

Sheldon's nervous look is surely a reflection of Leonard's own but Mary is trapped in her own thoughts.

"Were you raised to believe in Jesus?"

Beverly nodded, "My parents were very displeased that I did not raise my children in the church. It was one of many disappointments for them. If I had never let my parents down, I would be a neurosurgeon with her own talk show and Leonard would be named Carol Jr. after my father."

Sheldon turned to Leonard with a deadpan expression, "Carol makes Len-nerd sound like a strong and virile name."

"My mother would have been happier if I hadn't married a drunken louse," Mary acknowledged, "but then I wouldn't have my Shelly."

Leonard smiled as Sheldon and Mary shared an affectionate glance.

"'Because I said so' is not a good enough reason," Beverly mused.

"I suppose you're right," Mary agreed.

"It's the name of my next book. I'll be doing a special on the OWN network to discuss my theories in February," Beverly explained, "Are you a fan of Oprah Winfrey?"

The look of awe on Mary's face was answer enough.


Leonard gave Beverly an awkward hug at the airport, "Thanks, Mother."

Beverly patted Leonard's head stiffly, "I approve of your choice of a life partner. You chose more wisely than I. I wish you both luck."

It was stiff and awkward but it still warmed his heart.


Leonard looked for security before jumping out of the car to help Mrs. Cooper unload her luggage. He kept the car running in case a power mad security guard decided their farewell had become a threat to national security.

"Well, it was a pleasure getting to know your mother, Leonard, she's one smart lady."

Mary was giving Leonard a warm smile and patting his cheek with the kind of easy affection he would never get from Beverly.

"Mom, Leonard and I are engaged in a homosexual relationship."

Leonard understood why Sheldon said it to the back of Mary's head, he finds people's faces too distracting when he's trying to focus, but he wished Sheldon would just stare at his shoes like normal, socially awkward people. Leonard watched Mary's face turn pale and her eyes fill with hurt. He doubted she even heard his murmur of, "I'm sorry," before she turned to Sheldon.

"What are you saying, Shelly?"

Now Sheldon is staring at his shoes, "Leonard and I are in a monogamous homosexual relationship. I'm sorry if you're angry but I don't want to lie to you any more."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Since last fall. October 7th to be precise."

"And you've been lying to me all this time?"

"I didn't want to upset you until I was reasonably certain Leonard wouldn't retreat to the doomed but more socially acceptable shores of doomed attempts at heterosexuality."

Leonard was caught off guard by the statement, Sheldon was just full of surprises today.

"I don't know what to say, Shelly. I'm not entirely surprised but... I need to pray on this."

"I love you, Mom."

Mary hugs Sheldon tightly, "I love you, too, Shelly. Nothin' is ever gonna change that."

Leonard shifted uncomfortably as they hugged but he's grateful for Mrs. Cooper's relative calm. He'll happily accept all her wrath and blame if it will protect her relationship with Sheldon.

He tried not to avert his eyes when she turned to him, he wanted to act like a man but had a strong urge to hide like a little kid. Maybe behind a garbage can. He's short and a good hider.

"And you..." Mary doesn't finish whatever she planned to say, instead she pulled Leonard into a hug.

Leonard sobbed, "I'm sorry," into her shoulder but, again, doubted his words were heard or even intelligible. When Mary let go, he tried to wipe away the tears streaming down his face but they won't stop coming. He resisted the urge to lean into Sheldon when he felt an awkward hand on his shoulder. He doubts his copious tears are helping with Mary's stereotyped view of homosexuals.

"Shelly... We'll talk about this later. Believe you me, we will be talking about this later. Now go get Leonard some kind of hot beverage before he soaks that sweatshirt of his clean through and catches cold."

Leonard tried to pull himself together as Sheldon and Mary shared a final hug, then lost it completely as Sheldon awkwardly wrapped his arms around him and said, "There, there."


Sheldon loosely holds Leonard's arms above his head as he rides him. When Leonard tries to free a hand to stroke Sheldon's cock, Sheldon tightens his grip. Even though his eyes are still gritty and swollen from a good hour of crying, Leonard smiles at the kinkiness and Sheldon looks relieved. He tries to hold off until Sheldon orgasms but it becomes apparent that isn't Sheldon's plan and Sheldon's plans always prevail. He gives in and stops thinking about multiplication tables and starts thinking about the fact that Sheldon has found a way to make Leonard completely submissive even when Sheldon is on the receiving end of penetrative sex. When he comes inside the taller man, he's loud because he can be and Sheldon remains straddling his waist, with Leonard still hard inside him. He brings himself off with a few efficient strokes and collapses into a half snuggle. Leonard wraps himself around his lover and enjoys the moments before the need to shower forces Sheldon to end their embrace. If he's lucky, he can get a full ten minutes.

"That was amazing, Shelly. That was like make-up sex without the break-up."

"Hopefully the sex will be just as exciting after the three hour prayer-a-thon phone call I'll no doubt be getting from my mother tonight."

Leonard laughs though he knows Sheldon is only half joking.

"Why did you tell her? Why at the airport?"

Sheldon pulls Leonard's head to his chest, a sure sign he's thinking hard and doesn't want to be distracted by Leonard's 'overly active' face.

"I thought we were in the clear until the next time our mothers met and then I realized we could be propagating this deception for decades and it seemed absurd. I also thought it would be good to tell her when she wouldn't have time to argue. My mother doesn't like to be late and she always anticipates an abundance of 'Arabs' slowing down security on any flight."

"Good thinking," Leonard admitted, "I'm glad you told her. I hated lying to her and it's good to know she doesn't hate me. At least not yet."

"I believe observing your interactions with your mother gave my mother some insight into the depth of your emotional frailty. Between that and your well-timed and shameless emotional meltdown at the airport, it must be obvious to her that you are hopelessly in love with me and incapable of luring someone into anything, much less a life of debauchery."

Leonard doesn't bother arguing, Sheldon has made some valid points.

"Speaking of debauchery," Sheldon twitches slightly, "I bought you another Christmas gift that I thought should wait until after our mothers had left..."

"Let me guess, some kind of bondage cuffs?"

Sheldon's eyes are full of disapproval as he finally meets Leonard's eyes.

"I believe the social protocol is to at least pretend to be surprised."