Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind, I just love him.
Roxanne Ritchie sat up taller in her chair and smoothed out her skirt. "I'm sure he'll be here any minute," she said, to Leslie, the reporter who was currently training her.
"Yeah, yeah," replied Leslie, re-applying her lipstick. "The second you said that you got an interview with Metro Man, I knew it was a bluff. Why don't you just give it up Ritchie?"
Roxanne slumped in her chair. "It's not a bluff," she muttered. "He said he'd be here."
Leslie just rolled her eyes in response. Hal, the new camera guy, stood behind the camera, staring at Roxanne. Quickly he piped up, "I totally believe you Roxanne!"
"Thanks Hal," said Roxanne, but she was starting to have doubts herself.
Two days ago, she'd been walking through the park when a mugger had jumped out at her. She'd quickly reached for her pepper spray, being the resourceful woman that she was, but she'd barely needed to. In an instant, with a streak of white, the mugger was tied up against a nearby tree, looking dazed, and none other than the cities defender Metro Man was hovering in front of her giving her a glowing smile. She'd thanked him profusely, then hopefully asked if he'd be willing to give her an interview.
"Metro Man said it was no problem. He's probably just running a little late," Roxanne said quickly, but she had barely needed to say anything. At that moment, the door swung up, nearly falling off it's hinges.
"Did someone say Metro Man?" said the tall, muscular man, giving a dazzling smile.
Roxanne smiled in an "I told you so way," at Leslie's shocked look.
"Minion!" cried Megamind. "Where's that confounded wrench I asked for ten minutes ago?"
"The brain-bots won't give it back," called Minion, from his spot high in the air where the brain bots were dangling him from. "They also won't leave me alone."
"Drat!" yelped Megamind, ignoring Minion's slightly perilous situation. "I'm on the verge of a scientific breakthrough! Brain-bots! Bring Daddy the wrench now!"
A brain-bot soared toward him and dropped the wrench… directly on the new machine he was working on, thus crushing it.
Megamind collapsed in frustration.
There was another loud crash, and Megamind turned to see Minion getting shakily off the ground where the brain-bots had dropped him.
"Sir, perhaps what we should do is take a breather," said Minion shaking his fishy head.
"Take a breather?" asked Megamind curiously.
"It means break," Minion quickly replied.
"Breather…" said Megamind thoughtfully. "Oh, all right."
Minion smiled happily and reached for the television remote to turn on the big screen TV that they had stolen recently.
Megamind watched the screen as Minion flipped through several channels. He wasn't really paying attention. After all, coming up with an evil scheme was much more important. Unfortunately he seemed to be having evil scheme block.
The channels flashed before his eyes, then suddenly, something popped out at him.
Short brown hair, perfect skin, and beautiful eyes. The picture was there for a split second, then gone as Minion changed the channel once more.
"Go back!" yelped Megamind quickly.
Minion looked at his boss in surprise, then quickly obeyed.
"And why, Metro Man, do you think that it's so important to protect our parks?" asked the woman in a smooth voice.
The camera shot changed to a close up of Metro Man "Well, obviously because the environment is so important. It's critical to save it for our future generations, Miss Ritchie." replied Metro Man with a glowing smile. Megamind glared at his nemesis on the television.
"Oh please," laughed the woman. "Call me Roxanne."
"Roxanne," sighed Megamind, his glare softening.
"Alright then, Roxanne," replied Metro Man, smiling.
"Well, it looks as though we are out of time," said Roxanne, her eyes glued on Metro Man. "But I would certainly like to thank Metro Man, defender of our beautiful city, for the time he took for this interview."
"Anything for you, Roxi," said Megamind, winking.
The interview finished. Minion looked worriedly at his boss, who was staring blissfully at the television. "Sir?"
"Minion!" said Megamind in surprise, as though he'd forgotten that he was there. "I apologize. I was momentarily captivated by that human."
Minion raised his eyebrows, obviously confused.
"Well," said Megamind with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant about the entire situation. "She was pretty."
Minion shook his head, still confused. "Well, it looked like Metro Man thought the same."
"Come again?" asked Megamind dreamily.
"Wasn't it obvious?" asked Minion. "It seemed to me like Metro Man had what these humans call 'affection' toward this Roxanne." Minion was hoping that his boss was starting to get his point.
Megamind slumped. "Really?" he asked sounding disappointed. "That's terrible."
"No sir, that's good," said Minion. "You could use her as bait to get Metro Man to come to his doom."
Megamind brightened instantly. "Minion! My schemer's block has finally broken! What if I used this Roxanne Ritchie to lead Metro Man to his doom?"
"Excellent plan sir!" said Minion quickly, allowing Megamind to take credit as usual.
"Yes, excellent! To the Invisible Car!"
"Roxi, huh?" asked Leslie after Metro Man flew away. "And an invite to dinner? Sounds like you two are pretty serious."
"Please," laughed Roxanne. "We've met twice ever."
Leslie just rolled her eyes. Roxanne knew she was just jealous.
"Well, I think I'll be going now," said Roxanne, inching her way toward the door. Leslie just waved carelessly.
Roxanne sighed in the open air. The sky was a beautiful dark purple dusk. It was another wonderful night in Metro City.
She began to walk, and was beginning to hum to herself when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned quickly. Nothing.
Walking more briskly now, she hurried toward her apartment, trying not to freak out to much.
Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder. She jumped around and had no time to see who the tap-er was before she was knocked out cold.
"Perfect!" said Megamind, as Minion placed the woman in a steel chair, a brown bag covering her head. "Quickly, Minion, places! She shall wake up soon!"
Megamind sat himself in his high backed chair. He placed his fingertips together and his elbows on the arm of the chair. "Action," he whispered, putting on his most evil smirk.
"Uh," groaned Roxanne. Minion whipped the bag off her head. For a moment, she blinked, trying to take in her surroundings. "Where am I?"
Megamind was practically squirming with excitement. "Mwahahaha," he laughed low and evil. He turned his chair. "So… Roxanne Ritchie. We meet at last."
Roxanne's eyes widened. "Megamind?" she said, squirming a little with her bonds.
"Yes!" he cried, standing dramatically. "It is I, Megamind!"
I thought this guy would be way more threatening in person, thought Roxanne, scrunching her eyebrows. "That's what I just said."
Megamind's dramatic pose deflated slightly. "Aren't you terrified?"
Roxanne bit her lip. This was almost… comical. "Well, I'm a little worried I guess."
Megamind's jaw dropped. "Worried? Worried? Perhaps you'll be a little more terrified when you know the torturous schemes I have planned for you."
Smiling evilly, Megamind turned and pressed a large button on his dashboard. Roxanne flinched as flames shot up in a circle around her.
"Mwahahahahaha!" Megamind laughed again. "How are you feeling now? A little more terrified?"
Maybe a little Roxanne thought, but she said nothing.
Roxanne's silence caught Megamind by surprise. No screaming. Or response. He peered through the flames. She seemed fine.
"I said, 'A little more terrified?'" He asked more loudly.
"Well, maybe a little more sweaty."
Megamind's shoulder's slumped again and he went to turn off the flames.
"Fine, have it you're way Roxanne," he hissed, trying his best at evil. "Obviously the flames aren't scary enough for you!"
He pressed another button dramatically and the ceiling sprung open, a pendulum with a large blade swung from the ceiling, and began to swing back and forth, getting closer to the top of her head.
Roxanne gulped. "Ok, maybe now I'm a little scared," she said nervously.
"Perfect!" cried Megamind, rushing to grab something. Roxanne tensed, but he merely grabbed a microphone off of his dashboard of blinking lights and mechanics.
"Metro Man!" yelled Megamind into the microphone. Then his eyebrows scrunched at the device.
"Minion," whispered Megamind. "Why isn't this working?"
Roxanne could have almost laughed if her situation wasn't so dire. Minion rushed toward Megamind, whispered "it's not on," and flipped a little switch on the bottom.
"Thank you Minion!" said Megamind, back to dramatic. Then, going back to his microphone, he bellowed "Metro Man!"
This time, his yell echoed loudly all around.
"I have Roxanne Ritchie in my clutches!" Megamind cried dramatically. He waited a moment, then looked at Roxanne. "You should scream now," he whispered to Roxanne, covering his mic.
She raised her eyebrows. "Umm.. I don't think so."
Megamind's shoulders slumped again. "She is… silent with… fear," he said into the microphone quickly. "Anyway! You have a half hour! Wait any longer, and Roxanne Ritchie will be dead!
Roxanne's breath caught in her throat as Megamind turned off his microphone.
Time seemed to pass quicker than usual, all the while the blade getting closer to Roxanne's head. Megamind walked around, tapping his fingers against his arms. She watched him wander, feeling a little sick, although she wasn't going to let on.
"So," she asked, trying to sound impressive. "Why me?"
Megamind turned to look at her in surprise. His captives never talked so nonchalantly to him.
"Why you… what?" he asked.
"Why kidnap me?"
"Because you have Metro Man's," he grimaced a little, "affections."
Roxanne laughed. "What?"
"Umm… sir," interrupted a voice that Roxanne now knew was Minion. "Metro Man still has five minutes, but I think that that blade is getting a little close to Miss Ritchie's head."
"Oh!" said Megamind in surprise, rushing over to his dashboard. He turned a crank and the blade moved back up.
Roxanne glanced up in surprise. And suddenly, with that, she realized that Megamind wasn't actually going to hurt her.
There was a loud bang as the ceiling was ripped open.
"Metro Man!" laughed Megamind, as Metro Man hovered up high in the air. "You've come directly into my trap!"
Lasers surrounded Metro Man. "Please Megamind, you should know that lasers are no match for justice!"
He flew toward the laser and was instantly zapped back.
"Mwahahahahaha!" laughed Megamind. "It seems that justice is no match for my amazing intellect!"
Metro Man shook his head, seeming dazed by the shock.
"Now!" yelped Megamind, turning around. "Now, you shall give into my demands! I want you behind bars this time, and Metrocity all to myself!"
Roxanne tried not to laugh as Megamind babbled on. Above, Metro Man was using his laser vision against the lasers surrounding him. Roxanne was pleased to see it was working.
"And finally! One BILLION dollars!"
Metro Man swooped down behind Megamind and tapped him on the shoulder. Megamind turned… and received a punch in the face.
"OH!" yelped Megamind.
"The police are on the way," said Metro Man, smiling winningly. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed Megamind to his own machinery.
He swooped toward Roxanne, leaving a dazed Megamind behind. Quickly he untied Roxanne. She smiled at him and was surprised when he scooped her up and flew her out.
Megamind watched as Metroman swooped out with Roxanne. And despite the fact he'd just lost, he had to admit… that had been the most fun he'd had in a long time.
A/N: This was a lot longer than I expected it to be. I just couldn't stop.
So, I might write more, or I might just leave this a one shot. Please tell me what you think. I love reviews.
And finally, if you like this story, I'm currently working on another story, multi chapter, set after the movie. Watch for it!