A/N: Sorry about the long wait friends. I've been on fan fiction for a while reading Harry Potter stuff, and I realized how horribly I've been neglecting my own story, and my favorite couple.
This is a super long chapter. It just kept going and going and going, like the energizer bunny. And it took my like, forever to write.
In answer to a few people's questions, I do plan on keeping this story going a little while longer, and I definitely plan on bringing in some movie and post-movie scenarios. Also, no I'm not planning on this being at all AU. I enjoy reading AU fics, I do not enjoy writing them. My story is simply based on the chemistry I saw between the two in the movie.
Disclaimer: I don't own Megamind, I just think he is the coolest person of all time. Nor do I own Casablanca, which is also one of the coolest movies of all time.
Roxanne hadn't gone on a date in months.
It was like men were automatically scared away by her. She supposed it could be the kidnapping record, or more probably her the fact that all guys thought her "boyfriend" would knock them into the ground if they so much as looked at her.
But she didn't actually have a boyfriend, and she was starting to miss male attention. Besides that given to her by an evil alien and a super hero, of course.
This was why she was jealously watching Leslie as she finished doing her makeup in the bathroom at the studio. Roxanne was rarely jealous of Leslie, but the fact that she was the one about to go on a date while Roxanne would be doing her usual Friday night alone with a bucket of popcorn and Casablanca was really getting a little depressing.
"You've been washing your hands for the past five minutes, Roxi," said Leslie without even looking at Roxanne. "Seriously, move on."
"Sorry," muttered Roxanne quickly. "It's just-"
"Metro loser isn't really putting out for you?" teased Leslie, flashing Roxanne a grin.
"Look, Roxanne, I know when a good looking girl like you is getting stiffed, and not the good kind," said Leslie, leaning up against the sink. "You're not actually dating him are you?"
Roxanne blinked in surprise at Leslie.
"Yeah, didn't think so," Leslie said, going back to her mirror. "Well, if you're actually missing guys giving you goo-goo eyes over a candle lit table, you can ask Davis out."
"Eric Davis?" asked Roxanne in surprise. "The design guy?"
"Oh yeah, he thinks you're cute."
Roxanne stared at her reflection in the mirror, contemplating this. For the first time she noticed that her mascara had been smudged, and her lips were dry and chapped. He actually liked her? Might even accept going on a date with her? She supposed there was only one way to find out, but first…
"Can I borrow that?" she asked, pointing to Leslie's over decorated make-up bag.
Roxanne paced her appartment, occasionally stopping to adjust her strapless olive colored dress, and quickly checking her hair every time she passed the mirror in her living room.
It had taken Eric a little convincing for the date. He was positively terrified of Metro Man. But Roxanne had managed to convince him that there was nothing actually going on with Metro Man. He finally accepted Roxanne's proposal for dinner. At first, Roxanne had been delighted.
Now, she wasn't so sure.
He was good looking, and smart, and funny. That was probably the reason that Roxanne felt like there was a rock in her stomach. He was great, but she was… well normal.
She knew it was just the fact that she hadn't been on a date in nearly two years, and that her three year college relationship had been, to put it nicely, awful.
It was just nerves, Roxanne kept telling herself.
But that wasn't exactly it either. She wasn't sure how she actually felt about this guy. They'd spent some time together, but she hardly knew him, hardly knew about his life, his tendencies, even what food he liked. She'd quickly suggested her favorite Italian restaurant, just assuming he liked Italian, but he quickly declined that and suggested a Tai instead. Roxanne had agreed.
But she hated spicy food.
Then again, who knew that she hated spicy food. She could only think of a couple people her parents and…
Well, it was besides the point, and she certainly wasn't going to think about him. She wouldn't let a good night be ruined. She would suck it up, order the most mild thing on the menu, and try to put the pair of haunting green eyes out of her mind.
"I'm so bored of cleaning, Minion," groaned Megamind, sounding more like a whiny child than a full grown alien.
"I've already told you sir, you don't have to help me," replied Minion from the corner, where he was wearing an apron and flicking spider webs out of the corner with a feather duster.
"But I'm booored," moaned Megamin again, louder and even more whiny.
From his corner, Minion both smiled, and rolled his eyes. Megamind was the type of person who had to be entertained every moment of every day.
"You could try to rob a bank."
"All the banks are closed."
"You could fix that malfunction in the computer system."
"To much thinking involved."
"We could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi."
It wasn't a real suggestion, it was getting late and there was no actual plan to go along with it, it had just come out of Minion's mouth before he even thought about it.
However, Megamind's silence signaled that he was thinking about it.
"That sounds like an excellent plan," Megamind said after a long moment of silence. "Minion, fetch that tracking device that connects to the one I implanted in Ritchi's purse! Fetch my cape! And fetch the car!"
Minion shook his fishy head, regretting his decision to even bring it up, and realizing what a long night it was going to be.
Eric was a nerd.
Roxanne had decided this just a few minutes before when he had spit out something about computers that quite literally flew over her head.
And he wasn't a nerd in the good way. There were nerdy cute people, then there was Eric. He was too smart for his own good. At first Roxanne thought it could have been cute, but then it started to get annoying. She was smart, but these tech jokes kept going straight over her head. Even Megamind was considerate enough to keep his annoyingly large brains to himself, sometimes anyway.
However, she was here, eating expensive food that someone else was paying for, occasionally nodding her head when she did understand something, and happily jumping on opportunities to laugh and jokes she only half-understood.
It wasn't a good date, but it wasn't a bad date either, and the champagne a fact that she had the company of someone who wasn't a super hero or villain for once was making the world just a little brighter.
Roxanne had just started laughing with Eric about one of the camera men tripping down the stairs with a boom, when there was a loud crash and a scream.
Megamind, in all his big blue headed glory was stepping through a huge hole in the wall onto a pile of rubble.
"Oh my God," whispered Roxanne, sinking low into her chair.
"Citizens!" cried Megamind, his arms outstretched. "All I ask is that you hand over Roxanne Ritchi. Do this and no one gets hurt."
"Oh my God," Roxanne repeated, burying her face in her hands. She couldn't have been more embarrassed.
"Oh Ritchi!" called Megamind. "Hand yourself over or let these people be tortured one by one."
This was the point when Roxanne no longer felt embarrassed. Instead, she felt a new emotion take over.
She was pissed.
"No!" she exclaimed, standing quickly.
"No?" Megamind replied haughtily, dragging out his o.
"No!" she repeated, stomping toward him, her finger pointed at him. "I am so sick and tired of you ruining everything for me, Megamind. Every day of my life has to be planned around you. On the one day I actually feel like a person you're trying to ruin it!"
Megamind stepped back in surprise. He'd never heard Roxanne's voice reach such a high pitch.
"I finally, finally get to go on a date, but you just have to step in and be your usual self, don't you? You can't let me just have a normal life. No, I have to be the damsel every damn day. I'm so tired of it!"
"No, not finished," said Roxanne, her pointed finger now pressed up against Megamind's thin chest. "I know that you don't understand earth customs, but barging in on a lady late at night, or in her home after she's just taken a shower are terrible, terrible ideas. Why can't you just kidnap me when I'm at work, or covering a story? That would make my life a lot easier."
"This isn't about your convenience, Ritchi," spat Megamind, surpised to find himself fighting back. "In fact, villains don't care-"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Roxanne snapped. "You have an image to uphold, whatever. Do me a favor though, no better yet, do yourself a favor and maybe take a week off and ponder, why are you doing all this in the first place? You being a villain isn't bringing anyone any closer, it's only pushing them away." Myself included.
Hurt registered in Megamind's green eyes, but it disappeared in a second and was replaced with anger, an anger that Roxanne had never seen before.
"I guess I'll be going then," Megamind said, turning on his heel.
Suddenly, Roxanne felt a slight pain in her chest. Did she… could she… possibly feel bad for him? Was that even possible? For an insane moment, Roxanne felt the urge to run and grab his arm and gently apologize. She softened at his set shoulders, the look that he took on when he was trying to make up for the fact that he did actually have feelings. She wanted to say she was sorry and… and…
"Megamind," she whispered.
He shook his head and walked out of the hole in the wall.
Roxanne sighed, her shoulders slumping as well. Then, she shook her head, deciding not to let it bother her. She was determined to have a good night if it killed her.
She walked back over to her dust covered table where Eric was sitting looking slightly stunned.
"Sorry about that," Roxanne said easily, as though she were trying to brush off an embarrassing sibling. "Where were we?"
"I'm thinking we should call it a night," said Eric, still looking at Roxanne uneasily.
"What!" exclaimed Roxanne. "But, it was just starting to get fun." It was a lie of course but she was determined to try to enjoy herself.
"I just don't want to date someone who's not available," muttered Eric, looking down as he folded his napkin.
"I already told you, I'm not seeing Metroman."
"I wasn't talking about Metroman," Eric stated shortly.
Roxanne looked at him questioningly, then what he was saying dawned on her.
"Megamind?" she asked. "You've got to be kidding. Come on Eric, let's just eat our food and-"
"I'll see you at work Roxanne," he said, standing and leaving before she even had a chance to explain anything.
Roxanne watched him leave feeling upset, then embarrassed, then angry.
As soon as he walked out the door, Roxanne tipped back her head and groaned.
He had left her with the check.