A/N: So, this is a totally for fun and generally nonsensical story. Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: We own pretty much nothing but the plot...
It was the 2nd day of May, in the year 2011...(Part LXVI)
by Amy and Rebecca
It was the 2nd day of May, in the year 2011 when...
Rebecca turned to Amy 7th period and said, "Guess what? I went on this weekend (it is awesome BTW) and I saw several stories that are eerily similar to our own. I did not know whether to laugh out loud or go 'really?'...like for example, the 'after whole series is out, characters from book get together to read it aloud' format, although not as good as yours Amy, I have to say it was hilarious and slightly refreshing (if not inspiring as well)." Rebecca ended her 'sentence' with one of her trademark goofy smiles.
"Wait," Amy replied, confused, "I thought you asked me just this morning whether or not it was even up on fanfiction?"
"Eeepppppp!" Rebecca's eyes went wide when her eyes fixed upon none other than...
Damon Salvatore, who was alive and well (or as alive adn well as a vampire can be), despite Rebecca's worries that morning.
Rebecca who was easily distracted, turned to Amy (despite Damon's wonderful presence gasp, shock, I know) and said, "Awwwwwww, you really were listening to my rant, even when I thought you were ignoring me and Rachel...I feel sooo loved." and before Rebecca could get any more gushy mushy with her emotions turned her mind back to more pressing, important matters. "Mr. Salvatore, to what do we owe this great honor and privilege such as your presence in this dull school?"
"Ah, just...visiting; you know, the usual..." Damon replied casually and with his usual smirk.
"We are here to stage another (hopefully more successful) intervention, Rebecca," Amy stated with a sigh because she knew good and well how badly this could get before it got better. Before Rebecca could respond, Amy screamed, "Quick, quick! Grab Rebecca! No, wait, wait, I'm getting some rope! Pin her to her chair! Pin her to her chair!" Damon tried to obey Amy's incessant commands while struggling to contain a now enraged and confused Rebecca.
"But-But Damon?" she cried, "How could you betray me like this?"
Damon shifted his eyes away nervously, "Amy said this is for your own good. It is because I care about my loveable fans that I'm doing this..." When Amy continued looking for some rope in her heavy backpack, Damon whispered, "She is blackmailing me, Rebecca! I'll make you a deal: if you can help me make sure she says nothing about my little...secret, then I'll make sure this intervention does not work and you can go back to obsessing over me." Before he could hear her responce (yet again) they both gasped at Amy's sudden turn. She smiled win an 'evil' look in her eyes, brandishing a long rope in her hands, while they could practically hear the background music famous for all good horror films.
"Okay, Damon, strap her down," Amy said, handing Damon the roll of tape. "Meanwhile, I shall go outside to get one last thing we'll need...Rachel." And with that, she exited the room.
Rebecca, who cared deeply for Damon, could not believe what she said next because it was both shocking and unselfish. "Quick, if you sneak out now I'll distract her...Run away, far away and never return (for it will be your life if you do)." She finished her statement, knowing that if she could distract her psycho friend long enough, Damon might still be able to escape, but that would prove difficult and dangerous considering Amy (always popping up before any escape plans could be made) was back with Racel and said...
"Rebecca, please welcome your intervention mate...Jesse." and into the room was pushed a very frightened and stubborn looking Jessica McKay.
"You!" Rebecca shouted.
"You!" Jessie shouted.
The two girls then proceeded to cat fight (I'm talking fur flying, dust rising, kitty tornado, nobody better try to break them up cat fight) while Amy, Rachel, and anyone witnessing this looked to one another as if they might have the answer (Which they didn't).
"What-" Amy stuttered in shock, "What-what is this about?"
It was Damon who answered, surprisingly.
"Ohh...well, you see, funny story. You know how these girls have a huge obsession. Well, this obsession can turn into violence easily if it is left unattended." He looked pointedly at Amy and Rachel and continued, "And these girl are Exhibit A, but I can't understand why if you guys have been successful in your interventions."
"Wll, I mean-"
"-It's not like we didn't-"
"-we really tried to-"
"-but there were just so many things we could-"
"-there just were all these distractions that kept-"
Amy and Rachel tried to get out an explanation to excuse their failures, but Damon saw right through them.
"You failed, didn't you?" he asked.
"Yeah," Rachel agreed.
"Wow. Okay, this calls for the real professional." Damon sai,d. "Doctor, we need you!" Just then the Doctor walked in and Jesse said, "Doctor Who?" while the Doctor replied, "Exactly..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rebecca said, "how is he a professional for interventions?"
"Well," said the Doctor, "it does have some perks to be a time lord after all, which means I have unlimited time to get several degrees in interventionalosis among others..." An uncomfortable silence fell and everyone even Rebecca (who normally had something to say) was quiet.
"Okay, so," the Doctor cheered, breaking the silence, "Who's ready to get started intervvening?"
"What was that for?" the Doctor asked, rubbing his cheek.
"Haven't you any idea as to how somber interventions are supposed to be?" asked an upset Damon.
"Well, actually," the Doctor replied awkwardly, "this is my first..."
"What?" Rachel asked incredulously. "I brought you here with the specific intention of having an experienced therapist, not an interventions virgin!" She was getting really mad now.
"Well, hey, certainly it's never too late to start, right?" the Doctor asked, trying to defend himself. "but here's another question..." He paused dramatically. "Where are the two girls?"
Amy, Rachel, and the Doctor looked around the room expectantly, deciding now of all times to see if their two very unstable mental patients were still being restrained and realized that, yep...too late. Everyone was startled though when they heard...
A blood curdling scream followed by a blur of color flying past the doorway. The interventionist group inside glanced back at each other silentlyh in shock before running out the door.
Once outside, the blur was recognizable as a lunatic Rebecca Martin running down the hall at her top speed after her (ex?)friend Jesse.
"Well, I guess that answers the question of who loves me more." Damon said smugly.
"Ow!" Damon yelled at the Doctor, "What was that for?"
"Being stupid." Amy answered just as the Doctor said, "Payback."
"Damon!" Rebecca and Jesse screamed in unison while they slammed into the already shocked vampire. All he managed to utter was "Umph!" as he and the fanatically fun-loving girls hit the floor hard.
"Do they normally greet people so forcefully?" the Doctor asked.
"Help," groaned Damon breathlessly.
"Durr..." was all the girls' response refusing Damon's attempts to get up by hugging him to the point of strangulation.
"Okay, crazy girls," the Doctor said, "let the poor man go."
"Never!" shrieked Rebecca, "Quick, quick, Jesse hold him down, I'll get the rope!" as she turned to Amy and Rachel to snag away the rope in their hands.
"I-But-" Amy spluttered, unsure of what to do now, while Damon answered...
"Oh God, please no! Take me instead! I don't believe I can handle two fans at once!" he gasped for breath under the pile of girls, while the Doctor sighed and said, "Well, my poor, naive, and slightly bruised friend, that is all your fault..."
"Why do you have to be so yummy?" Rachel looked at him incredulously. Rebecca and Jesse purred like cats in response while Damon (Even though a little flustered) petted their heads lovingly.
NEXT IN SERIES: It was the 13th day of May, in the year 2011...(Part LXVII)