Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth. Yet.

The December Challenge from the lovely girls over at the JDB Harem (link in my profile, check it out, you will not regret it.), which was to do the classic poem "The Night Before Christmas", but Labyrinth style. :)

Fun Fact: I rhymed every stanza to the original poem. I am such a dork.


T'was the night before Christmas,

And all through my house

Not a goblin was stirring -

I'd kicked them all out.

They'd frayed my last nerve

Worn my patience quite bare,

With their fiery destruction

Of my favorite chair.

Now I mourned the poor dear,

Torn and singed at the edge

And raised my last glass of 'nog

Before retiring to bed.

I tossed back the booze

And gave my old friend a last slap,

As I passed to the kitchen

For one last nightcap.

When out on the balcony

There arose such a clatter

That I went to investigate,

My feet a soft pitter-patter.

I peeked 'round the corner

Ready someone's head to bash,

And saw not a thief,

But the king of panache.

His hair glittered like starlight,

His skin glowed like the snow,

And I felt my knees tremble

As I basked in his glow.

I blinked for a moment -

Why on earth was he here?

And stood back in the shadows

As he deemed the coast clear.

He slipped in like a cat

His legs long, lean and quick,

Sheathed in mouthwatering pants

Oh dear lord, there's his-

Those smooth, skintight trousers,

His claim to fame,

Were horribly provocative -

My face was aflame.

I watched as he crept

In those boots made for kicking,

'round my softly lit tree

And started ornament fixing.

"You came here to redecorate?"

I said, shocked at his gall.

He jumped and spun 'round,

"No! No, not at all."

I didn't buy it a second,

His guilty look didn't fly.

"Well, what for then?

And don't you dare try to lie."

He squirmed in his britches.

"I came to see you."

I blinked at his tone-

He was telling the truth.

I regarded him carefully -

Had I gone through the roof?

If I reached out and touched him,

Would he disappear with a poof?

"I've been banished for Christmas-

I've too long moped around.

Might I stay here tonight?"

He asked, his eyes on the ground.

I fretted for a moment

Where was it proper to put

The lost king of my dreams?

Too bad my chair is kaput.

"I've got an air mattress,

Though it'll cramp up your back,

Or we could share my bed,

But I'll smack you silly if you make one single joke about how good you are in the sack."

He beamed at me and winked.

"There's no need to be wary.

I can be quite the gentlemen,

Though you believe the contrary."

Then he took my hand,

And bowed over it low

While kissing my knuckles.

"Oh, stop with the show."

"It's late and I'm tired,"

I said, but underneath

I seriously wanted

To pull off his pants with my teeth

It just wasn't fair

That he made my knees turn to jelly.

And that look he was giving me

Put butterflies in my belly.

Never mind would he behave -

How would I control myself

While my libido ran rampant

Like some mad little elf?

Jareth grinned as I blushed

And cocked his pretty head.

"You're right, precious thing.

Come, let's get you to bed."

He watched the tremor run through me

With a self satisfied smirk,

And I narrowed my eyes at him -

What an arrogant jerk.

He dipped his head close

I felt the blush as it rose

"Precious thing, I've just thought -

I haven't brought my nightclothes."

He's manipulating me,

I thought, and started to bristle,

Then paused - did I care?

Or did I want to wrap him in tinsel?

I grinned back at him slyly,

"That's alright, for tonight.

I sleep nude anyways," I said,

And led him into my room and shut the door tight.


AN: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Naked Jareth! (I find myself in need, if anyone has a spare.)

Reviews are my favorite holiday treat. ;)