Title: The Form of Fear
Prompt: potterprompts 10: creation ; lover100 087: biggest fear
Summary: A Boggart reveals Sirius' greatest fear.
Notes/Warnings: Found on my hard drive! I tidied it up a bit and decided to post it for Remus' birthday. :)
Disclaimer: This fiction is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling and affiliates. No money is being made and no offense is intended. Characters are of legal age for sexual situations.
'It's probably just a Boggart.'
'Well, if you're so sure, why don't you open it, smart arse?'
'I will if you're too scared...'
'I'm not fucking scared! Fine! Stand back, yeah?'
Sirius drew in a deep breath and pointed his wand at the cupboard in the hall of his new flat. 'Alohomora!' he said loudly and firmly, and the door burst open.
For a long, agonising moment, nothing happened then, just as Remus took a step closer, a spine-chilling howl rent the air.
'What...?' began Remus, eyes wide as his mind registered the howl of one of his own, but a low growl made his words dry up in his throat.
He froze as a large, grey wolf appeared out of the shadows. For a long moment, he stared in disbelief at the wolf – who made no attempt to attack them – before he finally understood what was happening. Pain as sharp as knives cut through him.
The wolf? The wolf is Sirius' greatest fear? I'm the thing Sirius was most afraid of?
Sirius appeared to be paralysed with fear, his chest rising and falling rapidly, so Remus raised his wand, clutching it in his shaking hand. 'R...Riddikulus,' he stammered weakly, not surprised when the spell failed.
He tried again - 'Riddi...' – but before he could get the incantation out, the wolf let out a human scream that sent an icy chill through Remus and forced him back.
The wolf began to morph: straightening, hair retracting, snout shortening as it changed. Remus recognised the mutated human form it was becoming as himself and felt hot tears fill his eyes. Sirius was this terrified of him? He'd never let on how much the werewolf frightened him...
Then something went wrong – the almost-human Remus letting out a blood-curdling scream as he twisted back into his canine form. Remus frowned in confusion, glancing over at Sirius who, to Remus' shock, was staring at the wolf/man with tears streaming down his cheeks. There was no trace of fear in his features, but pain and misery were etched into his weary face.
Seeing Sirius – his Sirius – so distraught snapped Remus out of his daze and, determined now to end this, he lifted his wand once more and said, 'Riddikulus!'
The Boggart stopped twisting then shivered before dissolving into mist and reforming as a round, luminous orb. Remus glared at the source of all his misery and waved his wand one final time. The orb gave a powerful shudder then, with a pop, it disappeared.
Sirius let out a sob and fell to the floor, burying his face in his hands. Remus, knees trembling, reached out to steady himself on the wall.
'It was me,' he whispered hoarsely, hurt dripping from each word. 'I'm your greatest fear...'
Sirius' head snapped up, his tear-streaked face slack with shock and horror. 'No,' he gasped, a hand reaching out to Remus. 'No, that's not...'
'I saw it, Sirius!' Remus snapped, his voice breaking. 'I saw it...'
'You saw what I fear the most,' Sirius agreed, his voice low and gravely and utterly miserable. 'You saw me standing by completely useless as you went through the change over and over... Gods!'
He covered his face with his hands again, shaking his head. 'I used to have nightmares all the time,' he said, his voice muffled. 'I used to see you start to change back but you couldn't... you were stuck. You just kept changing and you would scream at me to help you but I couldn't do anything...'
Remus stared at the other man then fell to his knees next to him. 'You were scared of me...'
'It's not you,' Sirius said fiercely, dropping his hands from his face. 'It's not you. It's me! I hate not being able to help you. I hate that you have to keep going through all that pain and I can't do a fucking thing to stop it. That's what I'm scared of, Remus; being so fucking useless that I can't help the person I lo...'
It took a moment for Sirius' abruptly cut off words to register, but when they did, Remus gasped. 'What?' he breathed, staring at Sirius, his face a combination of disbelief and hope. 'What?'
Sirius closed his eyes, his face stricken. 'Shit,' he muttered. 'I didn't... I wasn't going to... Oh, fucking hell.'
He opened his grey eyes then, before Remus could say a word about this new development to their friendship, Sirius was kissing him. Remus made a startled noise in his throat then parted his lips, hearing Sirius' surprised intake of breath before he dove right back in. It was messy and uncoordinated and far too wet... it was perfect.
'Moony?' Sirius mumbled uncertainly against Remus' lips as they broke for air.
Remus smiled, pulling back and leaning his forehead against Sirius'. 'Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you to do that?' Remus murmured, sliding a hand along Sirius' jaw. 'Sirius, are you sure it's not me...?'
'Oh, it's you, alright,' he whispered, and Remus frowned. He made to pull away, but Sirius stopped him.
'Remus,' he said softly, looking him in the eye. He grasped Remus' hand – the one cupping his jaw - and drew it down until he was pressing it against the firm bulge in the front of his pants. 'Does it really feel like I'm frightened of you?'
Remus chuckled as he shook his head. He tightened his fingers around that hot, cloth-covered flesh and Sirius groaned, his head falling against Remus' shoulder.
'I hate that I can't help you more,' he whispered into Remus' collarbone.
Remus tangled his free hand in Sirius' black locks and tugged gently, encouraging Sirius' head up. 'I love that you want to help me,' he said softly then smiled. 'And you can start now.'
Sirius frowned and Remus smirked. 'I have a pain,' he said seriously, grabbing Sirius' hand and moving it to his own bulging crotch. 'Right here, and you could help take it away...'
Sirius grinned and, with a bark of laughter, launched himself at Remus. He knocked him to the floor and after a quick kiss, set about taking his pain away.