Don't Put The Blame On Me 03

One Piece Fanfiction

Summary: Luffy is caught in the middle of a fight between a group of bandits and bounty hunters. The person who saves him wants Luffy to rest and Luffy does as well but at the same time he doesn't. What an interesting conversation this turned out to be...

Pairing: Mihawk-X-Luffy

Warnings: Rated M for language, sexual themes, implied sexual content & possibly OOCness — especially on Mihawk's part.

Disclaimer: When I'm finally able to dye my entire head semi-permanently white, then I might be able to won One Piece, but until that day comes… yeah, you should know where this is going.

L.J.V.: "Wow, I just- well not just, but still- I realize that I write pairings that aren't really normal. Rob Lucci, Trafalgar Law, and now Dracule Mihawk have all experienced what it feels like to be inside of Monkey D. Luffy. (Sorry if that was too blunt)

Buggy: "Don't forget about that smoke guy."

L.J.V.: "That was actually a request."

Rikku: "But aren't you making more uncommon dates with Luffy?"

L.J.V.: "Yeah, let's call these fictions dates, unnatural dates."

Buggy: "That seems so wrong."

Rikku: "Well excuse me for trying to use a decent word. I bet you're just mad that Vivè isn't making one about you and Luffy, huh?"

Buggy: "WHAT!"

L.J.V.: Puts a hand to her mouth trying to stifle her laugh.

Buggy: Turns to the tomboy as his cheeks are tinted pink. "What's so funny?"

L.J.V.: Shakes her head as she continues to hold her laugh back.

?: "Make one about you and Mugi-chan doing what?"

L.J.V.: Falls to the floor laughing hysterically while she holds her sides.


Rikku: Tries to calm the hostess down. "Vivè, who is that weird looking guy?"

L.J.V.: Calms down and stands up. "Bon-chan!"

Bon Clay: "Vivè-chan!"

Buggy: "Enough already! Can we just watch this?"

L.J.V.: Flops down on the couch. "Fine. Bon-kun, we'll greet each other more after we watch this, 'kay?"

Luffy turns his body onto his left side, snuggling into the pillow before deeply inhaling. Ah, he feels so good right now. Releasing his breath, he opens his eyes just as the door across the room opens and steam emerges out. His right hand reaches up to rub his eyes when he hears a door open. Opening them he sees a figure walk out of a steamy room. Obsidian eyes widen and he can feel his blood quicken its pace through his veins before he quickly sits up.

Standing a few yards away from Luffy is the solitude pirate known as Hawk-Eye Mihawk, the Greatest Swordsman in the World, who is currently naked with only a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping from his short, ebony hair onto his pale yet smooth skin, running down his nicely —not overly— muscular form.

"Instead of staring," Mihawk uses his thumb to wipe off a small trail of water from his nose down the left side of his cheek, "—you should get up to wash yourself."

Luffy can feel his cheeks heat up just a little and his eye widen a fraction as he quickly turns his head in denial. "S-shut up. I wasn't staring."

Mihawk casually makes his way over to his pants located on the floor at the foot of the bed. "No, I believe that you were staring." When he reaches his trousers he picks them up all the while looking at the kid. The boy is clearly in denial.

Luffy childishly crosses his arms and puffs out his cheek, denying every bit of it. "I was not."

"You're being a child." Mihawk unwraps the towel from his waist and places it on the bed before he begins to put his trousers on.

"Am not." Luffy refuses again. How can this man say that he's being a child? He's not!

Letting out a lightly exasperated sigh Mihawk pulls the sheet that is bunched up at the end of the bed over the denying boy's penis. "At least have the decency to cover yourself up." After doing that he then brings the towel to his head and starts to dry his hair.

Luffy mumbles under his breath as he uncrosses his arms and looks around. This room is unfamiliar to him and he's certain that he didn't come here on his own. How'd he get here in the first place? And why is he here anyways?

His gaze goes back to the swordsman. "Why are you here?"

Mihawk walks over to the desk and pulls out the chair, placing the now damp towel on the back of the four-legged furniture. "That's right, you didn't hear what I said before you enticed me."

The young captain tilts his head to the side as he looks at the older male questioningly. "Enticed?"

Mihawk lets out a small breath before he uses a one word explanation. "Seduce."

Luffy's jaw comically drops. This man thinks he did… what? "I did not seduce yo—wait a sec, why am I here? What happened?"

Mihawk's facial features and voice are completely deadpan as he looks the boy straight in the eyes, answering the question. "We had sex."




Oh, that's right.

! ! !

"WE HAD SEX!?" Saying that Luffy is surprised doesn't even come close. How the hell did he have sex with this man, of all people?!

Surprisingly, the boy's screeching hasn't made anyone burst through the door, assuming that someone was killed but, more importantly, it didn't cause Mihawk's ears to bleed. However his ears are ringing a bit.

Looking back to the surprised teen, Mihawk sees the boy's gaping face, making him sigh yet again. "Straw Hat…"

Luffy blinks twice before turning his attention to the swordsman.

"—don't forget that you were injected with Methylenedioxymethamphatine."

"Metha-what?" He stares into blank golden eyes for another two seconds before his memory comes back. "Those-those stupid bandits did this to me!"

"No, it was the bounty hunters."

"Well— shut up. It was those guys." More memories of being held, pinned down, molested, and the fact that he couldn't fight them off because of that weird feeling coursing through his body are coming back to him.

'It's a drug created by people but the two things that you have to worry about are you being a guinea pig for this experiment and the second is whatever you feel happen to you is what you're going to do.' Those damn bastards.

"So," Luffy starts as he's looking down at the sheet and feels it underneath his hands.

Mihawk sits in the chair with his legs crossed as he inspects his hands, waiting for the boy to continue.

"—you took advantage of me."

The swordsman brings his gaze from his hands to look at the teen. Is that what he thinks happened in here? "No, I didn't."

Luffy grips the bed sheets under his hands and he turns his full attention on the older male. "Yes you did. I'm pretty sure that I asked you to help me but we ended up having sex. You didn't even try to help me."

"Had you have listened instead of molesting me yourself then you would have heard me tell you several times to lie down and rest."

Luffy crosses his arms and pouts, not wanting to be blamed for this situation. "Well, it's not my fault that my body wasn't listening to me,"

"So, you at least remember that much."

"Yeah, no thanks to you. Besides, you said it yourself that I had that Methy-whatever-its-called in me, so it's all your fault that we had sex."

Uncrossing his legs, Mihawk puts his left foot on his right thigh and takes a breath. "No, I specifically said that none of this is my fault before we initially began our intercourse session."

Ignorance radiates from the teen. "Our what?"

Seriously, how unintelligent is this kid? "Us having sex."

Heat rises to the captain's cheeks. "Would you not use that word? And that's beside the point because you still took advantage of me. I couldn't control my body while you could, so therefore, all of this is your fault."

Mihawk shakes his head as he sighs for the, what, fourth time in an hour? "Again, I'm not to blame especially since you willingly gave me felattio, twice might I add." A small smirk tries to tug his lips until he sees the questioning look from the teen once again, stopping his muscle to even twitch. "That means oral sex."

"I DID WHAT?" What did this man just say?! He did… what?!

Okay, now the boy is starting to amuse him. "Yes, you orally gave me attention twice. Once before you forced your tongue into my mouth over there." He looks over towards the door, knowing that the boy will follow his gaze. "The second time was after you stripped me of my pants."

Luffy is just gapping at the older male as he hears the things that he did a while ago. Why the hell would he do any of those things? Wait, it's because of that stupid thing that went in him, huh? Well why did this man let him do it in the first place?

"If you don't close your mouth soon, Straw Hat, then I'll have the impression that you want to give me felattio yet again."

Automatically Luffy hastily closes his mouth before he glares at the swordsman, well tries to at least. He can't seem to make his face scowl at the man again because of the stupid heat in his cheeks. "S-shut up you pervert. Why would I do those things to you? I freaking kissed you?"


Luffy narrows his eyes a bit and sticks out his lower lip. "Is that your favorite word or something?"

Mihawk resists the urge to face palm himself. Jeez, the kid is something else. "No, that's how many times you've done sexually related things to me."

"Aw man," Luffy closes his eyes and covers his ears. "—I don't want to hear that."

"You're such a child."

"No I'm not." Luffy points his index finger at the swordsman. "And you still took advantage of me because I couldn't control my body."

"Are you still going on about that?"

"Damn right I am and I'm not gonna stop until you admit that you did." Pouting seems to be the new black since Luffy's doing it yet again.

"You're acting just like he does."

"Don't change the subject—wait, he who?"


Luffy's eyes widen in realization. "Shanks…" A thought comes to the teen before his face turns red. That couldn't have happened… right?

Mihawk sees the teen. "What has your attention?"

"Y-you and Shanks…" His blush deepens.

An eyebrow raises before the swordsman questions. "Yes?"


Please tell Mihawk that the teen is not implying what he thinks he is?

"—you had sex with Shanks?"

Nope, that is exactly what he was implying.

"You had sex with Shanks…" Luffy repeats himself, completely aghast about his new discovery.

Sighing, yet again, Mihawk closes his eyes and lets a dry laugh. "Did I ever say that we did?"

"No but… you're not denying it." Luffy closes his eyes and deeply inhales only to almost regret it as he sees unwanted images with the two older men, completely nude with their hands roaming and them kissing and one going down on the other and— 'Bad thought Luffy. You don't need to see that. Bad thought. Bad Luffy. That's so gross. Bad, bad, bad.'

Mihawk takes another slow breath as he sees the teen quickly shaking his head and shivering. "What are you thinking of now?"

Honestly, does Mihawk really want to know?

No, it's probably better to stay ignorant to the teen's thoughts. "Never mind, I don't need to know."

"So," Luffy inches himself closer to the Shichibukai. "—did you have sex with Shanks?"

"What makes you think that I did?"

"Because you brought him into this."

"Only to say that you're acting as he does at times."

"And you only say that after we had sex." Luffy shivers at the last word. He still can't get used to the fact that he had sex with this man. Nothing bad about it, it's just this man is so… he's a stick in the mud. Ugghh. "So, did you?"

"You're assuming too much, Straw Hat. Besides, what interest do I have in an one armed man?"

"And you're changing the—wait, are you saying that you're interested in me?" Confusion creeps on Luffy's face as Mihawk lets out a small breath.

For the love of—why is this kid so damn persistent? "Mildly but you were the one who ravaged my body during the foreplay and the actual intercourse itself."

"And you expect me to believe that you didn't touch me while all of this was going on?"

"Believe what you want to, Straw Hat, but your nakama should be arriving here soon."

Luffy tunes the swordsman out as he's determined to get his answers. "I know for a fact that you touched me."

"Your arse."

"Huh?" Luffy looks dumbfounded.

"I grabbed your arse."

"I knew it. Let me guess, twice?" The teen crosses his arms as he glares at the man.

"No, three times." Mihawk gets up from the chair and walks towards the door to pick up his hat. "But,"

Luffy's gaze follows the man as he's waiting for him to continue.

"—I must admit that you know how to ride someone exceptionally well, Straw Hat."

All of the blood in the teen's body seems to go to his face as he just freezes. "W-what… did you just say?"

Mihawk looks at the teen before smirking, absolutely amused. 'I wonder how much more I can get out of him before he snaps.'

—Is this at all how Dracule Mihawk acts? Goodness no, but it is the kid's fault for constantly pushing the subject, so why not finish it?—

Walking back to the chair Mihawk continues to tell the boy what the he had previously done. "Surely you haven't forgotten…"

"I, uh…" Luffy averts his eyes as the Shichibukai sits back down, not knowing what to say. Sure they had sex but he doesn't exactly remember what they did. Why is the jerk going to tell him what he done? It's so weird and —dare he admit— embarrassing.

"So you did forget?"

"Shut up!" Luffy is trying his hardest to fight back the heat in his cheeks.

The swordsman ignores the boy and continues. "You don't remember how you were constantly kissing and licking my neck or how you were moaning and begging me to move inside of you, granted you were still riding me, not to mention playing with yourself in the process?"

By now, not only is Luffy crimson red but he's also starting to lightly sweat. What is he supposed to say? How is he supposed to reply to any of this? "I—I…"

Just to mess with the kid some more Mihawk leans close to him and lowers his voice just to make the boy listen. "Or how you screamed my name when you finally climaxed…?"

Luffy's brain seems to have just shut down from hearing that. Did he really do all of those things? To this man?! Was that drug that strong for him to really do all of this? That drug… Maybe it was a good thing for Mihawk to have been there. Who knows what those perverts would have done to him. Sure he's not too happy about what he and the older pirate did, but at least Mihawk wouldn't let anything too bad happen to him.

Leaning back, Mihawk resumes to inspect his hands. "Still don't remember?" The swordsman looks back to the teen.

Luffy tries to swallow the sudden lump in his throat before blinking. This subject is getting way too out of hand and he needs to change it, now. "Y-you never answered my question."

It's obvious what the teen's doing but at least now he wouldn't have to say anything sexually related. "And what would that be?"

Getting his blood back to normal, Luffy leans towards the swordsman again. "Did you have sex with Shanks?"

Well, so much for not having any more sexual conversations. And why is this so important to the boy anyways? "I already told you that I'm not interested in an one armed man."

"Yeah, but there's still a chance that you and him could of did it before Shanks lost his arm."

Ah, that's a good point.

"So, did you? And if you did, who topped who?"

Mihawk lets out another dry laugh. "I didn't know that you were such a pervert, Straw Hat."

A light tinge of pink stains his cheeks. "I'm not a pervert, you are."

"I'm not but more importantly you're so interested in my sex life."

"I'm just curious, that's all. And stop trying to change the subject."


Luffy opens the curtains a bit and sees his crew on the ground before he turns his attention back to the swordsman. "Why am I here anyways?"

Mihawk gets up and walks to his coat and sword. "I brought you here so you could sleep the intoxication off."

Scrambling off the bed, Luffy runs towards the bathroom and stops midway to pick up his clothes before going back to the washroom. "Damn it, you should have told me that they were coming!"

Once Mihawk puts his coat on, he turns his attention to the young captain. "I did… twice."

"Agh, shut up!" Luffy closes the door and sound of water comes on.

The swordsman shakes his head before opening the door and walking out.

Before Mihawk can close the door, Luffy opens the bathroom door and sticks his head out. "You still never answered my question."

Mihawk ignores the rubber pirate and closes the door. He walks down the hallway and a few flight of stairs, missing the boy's crew on the way.

Wait, until Shanks finds out what Luffy did to him or better yet, wait until Shanks finds out that Luffy figured out their little secret. That will be an interesting conversation if he ever does find out.

To be continued...

L.J.V.: "Wow, another short chapter. I must be slipping.

Bon Clay: "I think that you might be."

L.J.V.: "I never knew that Taka no Me was such a teaser. Man, that's pretty damn hot."

Buggy: "Why can't there ever be any normal people?"

L.J.V.: Turns to the clown. "Because technically speaking normality is being yourself and not like anyone else."

Buggy: . "So you mean to tell me that you're normal?"

L.J.V.: "Damn straight." Pushes Buggy out of the way and runs towards Bon Clay. "Bon-kun!" Hugs the okama.

Bon Clay: "Vivè-chan!" Hugs the tomboy in return.

Rikku: Whispers to the clown. "So, who is he again?"

Buggy: "A strange okama…"

Rikku: 0.o "Oh. And how does Vivè know him?"

Buggy: Shrugs his shoulders. "No, idea but she's freaking crazy."

Rikku: "Yes she is."

L.J.V.: "So that's it for 'Don't Put The Blame On Me'. Hoped you liked it and if not, then I don't know what to tell you. I have too many pairings for Boshi-kun and I'm not sure if I'll be able to write them all before the new year and yes I am going to write them all. Some pairings thought -just warning you- make absolutely no sense and I think that I might scar some people who read them later in the future and if so then I apologize for that.

Alright, I'm a let you guys go. Let me know what you though if you want (would be more then appreciated) and I'll go work on the sequel to 'Wait, You're Not A Masseuse!' before 'In The Mirror.' Ah jeez, I gotta do another chapter for 'Unwanted Dreams' for the Dream Sequel to this, don't I?"

Rikku: "Yeah you do."

L.J.V.: "Well there'll be the first three that I'll do before I do anything else. Until next time, take care and have a Merry Christmas if I don't post anything before then. Ja."

~Le. Jester. Vixen.