And then, she was gone. There were no more whispers, her voice was now gone. The weight that he felt on his back just a second ago, seemed to multiply a few times. Her last efforts to easen his job of carrying her have now faded away. Though it wasn't hard to carry her, the additional weight seemed to kill the last ounces of energy he had.

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Her smile was now just a fading memory inside his head. The lies he said to her were the last words she would ever hear.

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''Don't be silly. You'll be OK. We'll talk and laugh about this tomorrow, you'll see!''

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The words seemed to ring in his head louder and louder until he couldn't withstand the pain anymore. Tears slid down his cheeks. He closed his eyes, trying to shut down the pain, to go into his own solitary world, but with no avail. The pain was still there, her scent still felt in the air around him. His failed attempt to save her brought up depression, his helplessness hit him with full power, making his last wall of psychical defense shatter like it wasn't even there in the first place.

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Allen fell to his knees. He had no more strength to keep on walking or standing, no more strength to carry on. And yet he still kept on clinging to her knees, still held her tightly, not letting her fall off his back. The agony was overwhelming.

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'Why?' he thought to himself. 'Why her?' He bowed his face down, letting his tears drop down his face on the solid concrete,which was already wet and full of small pools of rain, which fell freely on the two youngsters, who really didn't belong to this scene they were in.

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The city they were in was completely destroyed, looking like a freaking meteor hit it.

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One day. One full day of fighting the Noah and, in the end, defeating every single one of them. Allen was full of wounds, most of them burnt from the last battle with Skin Bolic, who dealt the finishing blow to Lenalee. Yet, some wounds were still bleeding, creating a pool of blood, rain and tears of sorrow underneath them.

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His wounds hurt him. It hurt to kneel, but he didn't care about it. Did it really matter now? Did every single fucking thing in his life really matter, if he could protect himself, but not the ones close to him? Did anything really matter, when facing the unfairness of God himself? It reminded him of Roman times, with God in the role of Cesar, holding full control and power over them, the slaves. The feeling, the image of God pointing his thumb down, giving orders of slaying the defeated Exorcist ran trough his mind.

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The feeling of them being just puppets in the pawn of some higher force. The feeling of helplessness, uselessness, the feeling of him not being able to do anything but follow the orders and saving his own ass. It broke him apart.

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'Why? Why was God so unfair? Was God really on the side of Earl, like he claimed the whole time? Why? Why? For what reasons were they actually fighting now? Why were they fighting a fucking loosing battle? Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY?'

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''Why?'' Allen could not hold the pain inside anymore.

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''Why the fuck did you take her away? Why her? Why not me? Why, why, WHY?''

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He screamed with pain. A scream that would shatter hearts, turn smiles into sobs, happiness into sadness, a scream that would bring anyone near enough to hear it tears into their eyes.

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But noone was there. They were all alone in the once beautiful city of Rome.

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Minutes passed, soon it was one hour since Allen fell on his knees. He hadn't moved since then. Then, suddenly, he stood up, taking Lenalee off his back and gently lay her on the concrete below them. He took off his coat and slowly covered her with it.

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He then straightened himself, raised his arm and brought up the Ark gate. He sat on Centrals orders. He didn't care if he wasn't allowed to summon the gates without their allowance. They wouldn't do anything to punish him. They still needed him to finish off the Earl, even though it was supposed to be Lenalee, the Heart of Innocence owner.

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He picked her up and held her in his arms like she was the most fragile part of porcelain ever made. He let his Innocence feed on his life force, since he had no energy left, and used the power of Clown Belt to raise them both up into the Ark and carry them into the pano room, where he gently put her on the white leather couch. She looked so calm. Almost like she was sleeping. Her smile was still present on her face from the time when she passed away.

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This brought tears to Allen's eyes once again. He turned around and sat down on the chair behind the piano. He played the song he knew much too well. He remembered that Lenalee loved to listen to him play. Another jolt of pain ran trough his heart...

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Upon arriving to the base with Lenalee in his arms, he found noone to be there. Figures. It was late in the night and people were all off to their beds. He thought for a second and then went in the direction of the Supervisor's room.

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It took some time to get there and he spent some more minutes just standing and sobbing in front of Lenalee's brothers door, gathering courage and strength to knock, to go in. Suddenly, the door was opened from the inside.

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''I thought I heard someone sobbing, so I ca...''

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Komui silenced in the middle of the sentence, noticing Allen's face full of tears and blood.

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''Allen-kun...?'' Something wasn't right...

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'He was supposed to be on a mission... so why was he here? Was he successful, did he win the battle? If so, why is he crying? And if he lost, how could be here, this was a mission where, if he would happen to fail, he would die... And what's with his arms? They look like something is dragging them down, like he's holding something hea...' Komuis thoughts were interrupted as his eyes moved down, where he noticed Allen holding something.

'Wait... is that a body... no sign of life...'

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''Wait... is tha...''

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Allen sobs were now louder as an answer to Komui's unspoken question. He now sounded like a man gasping, struggling for air. The tears were rushing out of his eyes at a faster pace. Komui turned paler than a ghost. He fell on his knees.

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''No...this cannot...this is not happen...no...no...no, no, no, no, no... NOO!''

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Allen couldn't think anymore. His mind turned numb. Yet he still felt the pain, the agony, the guilt. On the opposite, Komuis thoughts were racing, trying to understand what he just saw, what has just happened. He wouldn't believe it. No... Not his Lenalee...

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He snatched her from Allen's arms and lay her on the ground.

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''Lenalee! Lenalee!'' He shook her shoulders, awaiting any kind of response from her. After he got none, he flinched. He quickly checked if she was breathing. He dropped his ear just above her mouth to check if she was breathing. After he did not feel her breath, Komui panicked. Was she really... ''NO!'' What was he thinking?

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He put his hands on her chest and started giving her CPR. He wouldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe that his Lenalee passed away. He continued for several minutes, tears flowing out of his eyes faster and faster.

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A crowd gathered around the three. There were mostly people who were awaken by Komuis scream. It did not take long for other science group's members to arrive. They stopped at Allen's side and watched the scene with horror.

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'' Why? Why Lenalee?'' said Johnny with a trembling voice. Reever did not speak. He couldn't. He just shed tears as he kneeled by Komui, who has by now stopped trying to revive Lenalee, loosing all his hope. He was now just kneeling there, crying tears of endless pain. Reever put his hand over Komuis back, gripping his shoulder in a comforting manner. Tough it did not help much. There were not many people who didn't cry. Almost everyone in the Exorcist Base knew Lenalee and were touched by her kindness and her desire to help everyone around her as much as she could.

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Allen couldn't be there anymore. He couldn't stand the pain, the sight of the one he loved lying there lifeless anymore. And no one even knew. Not even her.

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Until just now, he didn't really get the whole picture. He couldn't really take it all inside him. Until just now. It hit him mercilessly. He'd never see her smile again. He'd never talk to her again. She was gone, dead and he couldn't do anything to stop it, to prevent it from happening.

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If only he'd taken the final blow for her. If he could only get one more chance, so he could sacrifice his life for hers, he'd do it. But there were no second chances, there was no path to the past now. It was too late. He was too late.

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Allen tried to scream, but his voice gave him up. All that came from his mouth were the muffled sounds no one could hear.

'Why? Why?'

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It rained upon the base for the whole next month. On the last day of the cold November, Allens battle against the Earl happened. On that day it seemed like God himself switched sides from Earl's to the side of Exorcists. Sun broke trough the clouds at the exact same moment when Allen stroke his final blow to the Earl of Millennium. With a muffled *thump*, Earl's body fell to the ground.

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Allen was standing on the same rooftop where his love died one month ago. The cold November rain has stopped, yet Allen still felt dead inside. Locked in his solitary world, he ran away. No one knew where he went. No one could find the Hero of this long, cold War.

.

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-two years later—-

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''Damned wind...''

Wind played with Kandas long hair, much to his dislike.

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The young man, once an Exorcist found his peace in the land of Tibet. Upon arriving in a small town under the palace of the 14th Dalai Lama, the calm aura hit Kanda, making his heart pound with happiness. Without realising, his lips spread into a wide smile. He smiled for the first time after losing Alma Karma.

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''Now that's unsettling... seeing you smile, I mean. If the war wasn't already over, I'd think you were an impostor for sure!''

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Kanda froze. 'That voice...' His look flew up towards the spot, where the most familiar voice came from. He saw a person wearing a bag of groceries who stopped in his path on the bridge which connected two buildings which were facing each other in the long street.

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''Che. I see you're wearing that stupid smirk again...''

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''And what would be so wrong about that, BaKanda?''

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A wide grin.

A big smile.

A calm laugh.

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''Che. I don't recall saying anything about that being wrong...''

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Kanda bowed his head and smiled. ''But ain't it a bit ironic?''

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''Eeeeh?''

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''Don't you 'Eeeeeh?' me, dumbass... I'm talking 'bout you living in the land of 14th Dalai Lama... doesn't that number ring a bell?''

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Allen tought for a second.

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''Ohh! I get it now... well, it is kinda ironic, isn't it?'' He flashed a smile and scratched the back of his head.

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''Che.''

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Kanda laughed. So unusual from him. Allen widened his eyes. First Kanda smiled and now he was laughing... 'Is he really that happy to see me?' Allen tought to himself.

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Kanda started walking forward.

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''You're still the Baka Moyashi I used to know, Allen.''

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Allen smiled, tears of happiness flowing from his eyes. 'The first time Kanda ever called me by my real name. God sure has some strange plans to put us both under ''the same roof''.'

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He sighed and returned to walk the path towards the upcoming future.

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A big grin.

A wide smile.

A calm laugh.