November 23, 2010
Blaine daydreamed through Warblers practice like he had daydreamed through most of the past three weeks. Not surprisingly, he didn't miss a cue or a note. He'd always been good at keeping focused, despite the world's best attempts to shake that focus. And the world had delivered Kurt…
Kurt. Blaine had friends before, mostly straight, mostly compassionate, but he'd never met anyone like Kurt. Someone so much like him, just a little further behind in their journey to self-comfort. And now, sitting here in His choir room, the angel boy's face flashed before his mental eye. So young and smooth and eager and hurt…When Kurt had started crying each time they'd been together, first when he was spying and then later when they had tried to talk to that creepy ugly jock closet case, it had about killed him. He remembered his tears like that. And he had had no one.
His parents had been sympathetic and let him switch to Dalton, but hadn't wanted to talk about it much now. They were glad he was happy and safe and left it at that. He was almost jealous that Kurt had such an involved, supportive father. And such strong, fast friends. Mercedes in particular was just amazing. She'd have been there in a heartbeat to defend her friend from that monster's attacks. What was his name again? That big beefy dumbass?
Karofsky, that was it. So typical and SO stereotypical all at once. Blaine's blood boiled thinking of him manhandling Kurt and then trying to pass it off as some bastardized affection. The jock was the typical meathead wall. Beating on the gays because he can't comfortably be with them. He'd even almost attacked Blaine, but Kurt stopped him. And seeing the hurt in his eyes when Kurt protected Blaine was worth it. How dare that guy think he could hurt someone and have them?
The jock had been upset that Kurt was with another guy. A cuter, smarter guy at that. It was almost pathetic how obviously attracted to Kurt this Karofsky was. But at the same time, Blaine had pity for him too. There had been a time when he'd been on that side of it. Someone he liked not wanting him at all. Not in the slightest, not even as friends. Yet another victim of the fear of things they don't understand. Blaine's heart had broken that day. Another broken heart among many.
But then there was Kurt. Blaine thought of all the time they spent together now. The texts, phone calls, all the shows they saw together. Any excuse really to hang out and spend time and…be close. He didn't want to rush Kurt into anything he wasn't ready for. He wasn't that oaf forcing himself on someone smaller and more vulnerable. That pig, he smirked. Not even remotely cute. And Blaine had tried to be civil, even offering an olive branch on behalf of "the gays." What a joke.
But back to Kurt. Blaine had boldly taken his hand at Dalton that first day. It was so warm and soft, and trembling. He wanted to quiet Kurt's fears. But was that the right thing to do? He didn't want to abuse their new friendship. He'd never had a mentor himself and being one actually felt really amazing. Kurt looked to him for support and guidance. And yet…there was something in his eyes that made Blaine hope. Made him want. Made him think of a snowy evening they might get trapped together. Where they'd have to snuggle close to keep warm and safe and alive. Be each other's lifeblood and lifeforce. Man, was this kid making him veer towards the dramatic fast! Was he in love?
He'd deliberately sung his song to Kurt that first day. Even in those first few seconds, he had hoped. No one could miss Kurt a mile away for being anything other than what he was. And Blaine loved that. He loved Kurt's clothes and smile and stories. But he couldn't help feeling that it was too soon. Too fast to react. He wanted to sweep Kurt off his feet and cherish him and make a life with him, if he could. Yet, he knew it would be slow and steady and polish that would win this race. If it was meant to be run. Kurt was worth that and more. He was worth waiting for.
Blessedly, practice finally ended and he could dash off to meet Kurt at Breadstix again for dinner. The other guys smirked at him. They knew what was going on and couldn't have been kinder about it. Blaine sang out what was left of his singing voice over the roar of the Autumn wind that blew his hair out in the car. He'd have to hurry and get there early to fix it. Everything had to be perfect if he was going to win his guy.
As he pulled into the parking lot, he saw Kurt's truck and parked nearby so they could walk together. Maybe tonight he'd try to steal another hand hold. Maybe. But as he turned off the ignition, he saw something bizarre and maddening all at once. Kurt was sitting in a window booth, the soft lighting lilting on his suede brown hair as he smiled searching out through the reflective windows for Blaine's eager face. But just out of his eyesight, but not out of Blaine's, in a dark patch of lot, sat an even larger truck with a tall silhouette leaning against it.
Hell, thought Blaine rapidly. It's that damn bear jock again. He followed Kurt here. This is getting spooky. Or…he was jealous. It hit him like one of those big trucks everyone seemed to drive. This guy had real feelings. And despite his reluctance to name them, he wanted to be near Kurt and see what was going on. And Blaine had to be there, to protect him, to defend him, to…win him. This guy was nothing like what Kurt needed and Kurt knew that, thank goodness. But…well every gay guy is jealous.
Blaine slammed his car door and methodically painted a smile that Kurt would see, showing off his perfect (thanks to extensive orthodontistery) pearl teeth. Just before he went in to eat with the guy of his dreams, he glared into the shadow where Karofsky had been, but was met by the sight of the truck peeling out towards the exit. That's it, coward, run. He'll never love you. You've messed up and messed with him too much. He needs me and I need him. I'll make him forget you ever existed, if he'll let me. No chance for you, hamhock. And with more gusto than he truly felt, he strolled into the restaurant and towards the booth containing his new best friend…who was looking at him, already totally smitten, and yet…too eager, almost confused.