Jinx was lost. No, that wasn't right. She knew where she was, she just couldn't believe it.
Jinx was afraid? Hardly. She was never scared of anything. Not even the Titans.
Jinx was... confused? Hmm... It was sort of true. Mostly she was simply unsure how to act.
Because the heart of the matter was Jinx was sitting in the living room of the Teen Titans, her once mortal enemies... hanging out. Actually... she was there as a date.
It was a stupid idea really, but it's not like she could ignore the Titans forever. They were technically on the same side now, so they weren't going to start attacking her at any moment. And Wally could be so persuasive sometimes...
Her eyes slid to where her boyfriend sat. Kid Flash, Beast Boy, Robin, and Cyborg were playing some sort of card game at the table a little ways away from the couch. They were all highly competitive of course, so every once in a while a brief shouting match would erupt over some trivial detail. It always cleared up instantly, and Jinx was pretty sure it was more for show then anything else. But Starfire, who was floating behind Robin with her hands on his shoulders, squealed and pleaded for them to calm down each time. The boys, especially the Boyfriend Wonder, were all very kind to her once they settled down again. In the meantime though Beast Boy would tell those horrendous jokes of his, making Kid Flash laugh uproariously while everyone else groaned. She liked Wally's laugh. He didn't do it enough around her. She should try and fix that.
Suddenly the cushion beside her dipped, and Jinx whipped her head around. It was Raven. She blinked at the other girl's blank exterior, waiting for her to speak first.
"You're uncertain." Trust Raven not to bother with niceties. Jinx merely raised an eyebrow, attempting to match her impassive expression. Never let your opponent have any advantage.
"You may not know this about me, but I'm an Empath. I can—"
"—Sense other people's surface emotions." She interrupted. When Raven tilted her head slightly in question, she answered, "I learned about all your powers at the Hive." Jinx ducked her head, embarrassed (and not really knowing why) about discussing her time as a villain.
"There you go again." She looked up but Raven was staring out the window.
"You're uncertain. You don't know what to do here. I bet you don't have a clue what you're doing as a hero." Jinx could feel her anger rising, defensive even though everything the girl was saying was true. She was just about to retort when, eyes shining, Raven turned to her. "But you want to."
Floundering without her righteous indignation, all Jinx could manage was an ever eloquent, "Huh?"
"You so desperately want to do good. You're so afraid to get it wrong. You don't want to be rejected by us. You don't want to let him down." It was the most passionately she had ever hear the Titan speak. She had no idea how to respond. Raven could evidently see this (or sense it, whatever) as she looked away and continued. "There was always something different about you. I could feel it every time we fought. To be perfectly honest I think I lost a few times because of how unexpected you were inside." Instantly images of Raven during their hand to hand combats flooded back, and for once Jinx noticed the perplexed look in her eyes. How had she missed the distraction she'd posed? What a tactical advantage it could have been. "While the others took such joy out of hurting us, you never did. There was always something bitter when you sent a curse our way. As if you'd rather never see another wave of pink in your life." She turned back again, the intensity in her gaze making Jinx watch her hands wring instead. "I think I understand now. You're like me that way. I hated my magic. Before I met the Titans, or what would eventually become the Titans, it was a constant symbol of what a freak I was. Well, deeper than that it was a reminder of the evil that lurked within me, but that's another story."
"I'm bad luck." Jinx said finally. "I've always been bad luck. The curses are just how I channel it. I'm like a black cat walking under a ladder to smash a mirror. Villainy..." She glanced up, unsure if it's safe to divulge so much to a former enemy, but Raven nodded and she finished, "Seemed the only option for someone like me."
"Part of me wishes I'd have saved you years ago," Raven said, "But I doubt it would've worked. I think he had to do it. Otherwise you'd never have accepted it as a necessity, or even a possibility." Jinx twisted around to lock eyes with her boyfriend. The crystal blue looked concerned for a moment before melting into that beautiful swirl of affection she'd begun to see so often. He grinned slyly at her and returned to his game. "He was worried I was giving you a hard time." She faced Raven again.
"Idiot." The corners of the Empath's mouth turned up and Jinx found hers reflecting the thin smile. Sobering, she posed the question she'd been dreading. "What do the others think?"
"They're hopeful." Short, and clearly leaving something out. So very like Raven.
"But...? Come on, they have to have doubts. I have doubts!"
"They are hesitant to trust you, but they feel guilty for doing so. Especially Robin. Kid Flash is one of his closest... I don't know if you can say friends," They shared another smile, "But they are close. Since he speaks so highly of you," Jinx blushed, "It feels wrong for him to hold a grudge. And you did play a part in bringing down the Brotherhood of Evil, which the rest are all grateful for."
"And you?" It seemed a little silly to ask, seeing as they appeared to be bonding or something, but she had to be sure.
"Your loyalties are clear to me." She chanced another look at Wally. He was laughing again, banging his fist on the table in his mirth. He was so ridiculous. But her heart soared all the same. "You care for him deeply." Jinx sighed without turning away.
"Sometimes I wonder how long we have before I hurt him." It was clear she was talking about more than emotional pain. Raven laid a delicate hand on her shoulder.
"I know." She'd never felt closer to the witch. It was then she made a decision. Standing without a word to Raven, Jinx strode over to the table. The noise quieted somewhat at her approach, but she tried to ignore it. Wally's eyes, along with the others, followed her curiously.
"Hey!" He said cheerfully, though his expression remained puzzled. Coming behind his seat she allowed her hand to fall on top of his mess of red hair. The rest of her however was carefully indifferent.
"Hey." She belatedly replied. She jerked her chin at the table and play obediently resumed. Starfire clasped her hands.
"Oh new friend Jinx, will you too be the charm of good luck for your boyfriend?" She looked down to where Wally was grinning mischievously up at her. But with love. Always with love.
"I guess so."
I made this all tonight, so I've no idea if it's any good whatsoever. The idea just came to me, and I started writing, and then this happened... bleh.