Disclaimer: As you all know, the Slayers characters and world and whatever else from the Slayers I've used, does not belong to me. They belong to their rightful owners. So please don't sue me! I don't get paid for this (oh, how nice that would be). Any other characters belong to me, as does this story. I hope you enjoy it!! It's my first fanfic (and a bit OOC). And though it seems a bit typical, it isn't. Just keep on going, and I know you won't be disappointed.


Chapter 1: Troubled Thoughts

The sun had set over the horizon hours ago, the sweet air thick with the scent of summer. Trees swayed silently in the soft breeze, as the moon, only a crescent, shone brightly surrounded by twinkling stars, all embedded in the midnight blue and black that weaved the night sky. Everything seemed peaceful.

High above the sleeping city of Saillune, in one of the rooms that out looked the east side of the kingdom from the magnificent white-stoned castle, was a young woman. She was the only thing in the whole city that wasn't at peace. She stood looking out of her window, leaning on her arms, her long, silk-white nightgown covering her smooth olive-skin. It was low cut in the front, sleeveless, the soft silk reaching her bare ankles. Her short raven-black hair, which had only grown an inch, framed her beautiful face, and her big, blue eyes had lost the sweet, energetic look it had held only hours before.

Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune sighed as she troubled over the many thoughts floating about in her mind. She had tried to go to sleep earlier, because her father wanted to tell her something important, and she needed to be ready for something in the morning, but her thoughts kept her awake.

She was 17 years old, and hadn't seen her friends in almost 3 years, since she would be turning 18 in a few months. Her friends Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev did write to her often, though, promising to visit her. She had grown a few inches over the years, and though her face still looked quite innocent and cute, it also showed how much she had matured and grown throughout the years. No longer a child, she had grown into a young woman.

She wished that she was still travelling with her friends Lina, Gourry, and…Zelgadis. She missed him more than she missed Lina and Gourry. But...he...he got on her nerves so much, and whenever she thought about him....

"He's so selfish and stubborn", she whispered angrily. "All he cares about is himself. No one else, just him. He refuses to see how much we all care about him, and how much I-I.....ooh! He's just so blind! He's always so closed, so distant, and all he cares about is his stupid cure! He doesn't even realize that I don't care what he looks like, and neither do Lina or Gourry or anyone else! If only....Why didn't he come back to Saillune with me?"

She thought of the day they had split up. It was after the incident with Dark Star. Lina and Gourry went one way, Filia another, and Zel said that he would accompany her until she reached a town, and then stay with her until she found a ship to Saillune. He wouldn't go to Saillune with her, because there could be a cure here. But on their way to the town, he heard of a magical cavern in the far north, in a desert valley where it was said that an elfin sorcerer wrote and hid a book that contained magical secrets and spells. As soon as that had reached his ears, he turned to leave and head north to find the cavern. He told Amelia he was sorry, but wanted to go as soon as possible, and take less time. Their last conversation burned in her memory.


"B-but Mr. Zelgadis, you said that you would accompany me to that town. It's only two days away from here," she said, trying hard to control her voice, her eyes pleading.

"I said I'm sorry, Amelia, but I want to get there before someone else does," Zelgadis replied, putting on his hood and turning his back on her to leave. "Going with you would be going out of my way."

She had watched him start to walk away, tears filling her sad blue eyes. She knew how much finding his cure meant to him, but why did her have to be so mean to her? "M-Mr. Zelgadis.....w-wait!" Amelia called out. Zelgadis stopped and turned around, and Amelia forced herself to smile. She wouldn't let him see her cry....she didn't want his last memory of her to be of her crying. She wanted him to remember her as sweet and always happy, someone who would cheer him up, and not just some child he had had to put up with.

"Here," Amelia said smiling, taking off her bracelet and holding it out for him to take. "So you'll have to come back to Saillune, to give it back to me."

Zelgadis just stared at her, wide-eyed and surprised. "A-Amelia, what??......" he asked, confused, but took the bracelet from her hand.

Amelia forced herself to look happy, and she fought hard to stop the tears threatening to fill her eyes. "Promise me you'll come back, Mr. Zelgadis," she said, her eyes staring at his. "And with this bracelet, you'll know that whatever happens, there are and always will be people who call you their friend. And that you have a reason to return to us, because we'd miss you - Miss Lina, Mr. Gourry, and I." She then hugged him, breathing in his musky scent, and then paced back a few steps. Zelgadis stood there for a moment in complete shock, looking from her to the bracelet he held in his hand and back. Then, still looking at him, she asked, "Well?" Her voice almost cracked with that one word.

"Amelia??" he asked, more confused then he had ever been in his life.

"Do you promise?" she asked, waiting for his response. Please say yes, she thought to herself, Please....

He hesitated for a moment, then looked from the bracelet to her. "I can't promise you I will return. I might die, or I might never find a cure. But I do promise if I don't die, and if I find a cure, I will return to Saillune." And with that, he turned to leave, his cape flapping freely behind him.

Amelia stood there, the wind blowing her hair in front of her face. Why does he have to be so cold? He didn't even say goodbye........She dropped her head to stare down at her feet, and then looked at her bare wrist that a few minutes ago had been covered by the bracelet she had given Zelgadis.

"I'll wait for you......" she whispered under her breath, letting her warm tears fall freely from her blue eyes. She stood there silently crying for what seemed like forever, before she turned and slowly let her feet carry her away. The trees seemed to move out of her way as she walked through the gloomy shade of the forest.


Amelia shook her head to stop thinking about him. She continued to stare out the window as she tried to calm herself. I'm so stupid, she thought to herself. What was I thinking when I asked him to promise? I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. A part of me says that I care about him deeply, and another part tells me that I hate hims. "Stupid Zelgadis....I won't wait for you...." she whispered, "I can't."

She sighed, and tried to calm herself down and forget about him for now by taking deep breaths. Thinking about being calm made her think of Slyphiel. She wondered how she was doing. Probably better than me, she thought bitterly. The last she heard was that Slyphiel had helped re-build Sairaag. Come to think about it, Amelia thought, Miss Filia and Val moved to Sairaag, and Filia opened up an antique shop there. "I bet they're having the time of their lives too," she sighed. Amelia also missed Xellos - even though he is a monster and is therefore evil. Xellos had, after all, helped them a number of times.....even though it was always to his benefit, and he did turn on them a few times too.

Amelia leaned her head against the side of the window, thinking back. She had been so carefree and optimistic back then, traveling around everywhere with them. Those had been the best times of my life, she thought, even if we had to fight a few dark lords and mazoku along the way. I even almost died....she thought, thinking back to the incident with Hellmaster Phibrizzo. I would go through that moment again if I could......it's better than being here now.

They must still be travelling around, Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry - looking for treasure, stealing from bandits, and eating lots and lots of food. She looked at the buildings below, thinking of Lina and Gourry fighting over their triple-portions of food mounded up on a table at some poor, unlucky tavern.

And here I am, cooped up in this castle, she sighed, looking around her room, with its expensive tapestry hanging on her wall, and her chestnut-coloured four-poster bed covered with lace, satin, and silk. In truth, she still left the castle as Saillune's representative at times, and she could truly leave at any point if she wanted to, and yet she still felt like caged. She then turned back to the window to stare out into the distance. "What I would do if only I could go on adventures again!" she said to the wind, letting it carry her voice away. But I can't....I have my duties as a Princess.....no, as the Crown Princess of Saillune. I can't run away like my older sister did. If I left, who would father have? Mother....mother is dead, and I can't just leave him to worry about me.

It was funny - she had once been so optimistic and excited about being a Princess, and doing her duties. Now, she wished she didn't have them. On one hand, it kept her occupied, and she enjoyed what she did, but…she missed her friends, and travelling with her friends. Her life was so busy, and stressed…she didn't know what to do anymore.

Images flashed before Amelia's eyes as her mind filled with thoughts of her sister and mother. Blood....so much blood, and those screams that filled her head. Her mother....she wasn't moving, her sister crying and screaming, looking down at their mother and....all that blood. Her sister, running, Amelia left by herself with all that blood....and then, darkness...

Amelia felt herself shiver, and she shook her head. Don't think about that, she thought to herself. At least I still have father....

Amelia closed her eyes and sighed. Father...I don't want to leave you or the people of Saillune, but, all that work... Everyday she was busy with one duty or another. She had so much pressure on her shoulders, being the next in line for the crown. She enjoyed her duties, but every now and then she'd remember what she was missing. With every breath she took, she tried so hard to impress everyone, to live up to her title, to not disappoint anyone. She opened her eyes to look up at the dark sky above her, as if hoping it would help her somehow.

"It's just too much!! B-but...but I can't run away! I won't be like my sister! NO! I can't!" she yelled, tears filling her sad eyes. "I-I can't......."

But th
en, she thought, I have to get married before I'm 18. Amelia scanned the city below her, darkness filling the windows and streets far below. "Not that people don't try to win my hand," she growled. People just want to marry me because of my status, not because of who I am. Men were always trying to court her at balls and whenever she had any free time and set foot outside the castle. At times she felt flattered, when she had been younger, but she didn't want to have to worry about that. She didn't know what to think about 'love'anymore.

"If I don't find anyone, father will just choose someone and arrange a marriage," she muttered. "Stupid law....I wish I didn't have to be married by the time I'm 18. It's not fair...." Great, she thought, now I sound like a little kid...."it's not fair"....Zelgadis always said that life wasn't fair.....

Her mind wandered back to when she travelled with her friends. She had always tried to uphold justice....but now....now I'm too busy with the kingdom. We've made many peace treaties, and have upholded justice in Saillune, but...but it just isn't the same...I-I miss being free...

"Maybe...maybe that's what I miss the most," she whispered. "Being free. Doing what I want, going where I want, upholding justice the way I want...but.... I'm a princess. A crown princess. I have a duty.... I love my duty…but...still..."

Her eyes moved back to stare outside at the endless horizon that stretched for miles. If only my sister and mother were still around, then.... maybe...she looked out with longing eyes. Why...why can't I be like a normal girl? Then I could do what I want, marry whoever I want whenever I wanted to...oh, why me? I'm not even supposed to be the crown princess...oh why?


As that one word left her lips, a single tear rolled down Amelia's smooth cheek, as she stared out at nothing. She couldn't see the peaceful city anymore, or the trees far below, or even the moon that was casting a sweet glow on her face. Tired, she walked to her bed slowly, her feet heavy against the cold marble floor until her feet reached the soft warmth of a rug. She moved to the side of the bed, lifted the covers and lay down. She turned in her bed to face her window, and slowly, her eyes began to close under the weight of her lids. "Sometimes," she whispered to her pillow, ".... Sometimes I.... I just want to...die...." And as the last word left her soft lips, another tear rolled down her cheek, and landed on her pillow as sleep finally took her.