This is my first Shizaya... Well, my first DRRR EVER on this site (kinda regret that it's angst, wanted humor ;c )

Be gentle!

I'll Follow You into the Dark

It was just another fight between two of Ikebukuro's most deadly men- only an extraordinarily long one. Izaya had seemingly crossed the line this time, having (albeit accidentally) set a nondescript gang after Kasuka, and was barely keeping up with Shizuo's blinding rage- he had yet to escape the brute. Red was all Shizuo saw as the informant slowly but surely got worn down by all the running and dodging as Shizuo relentlessly assaulted him with various heavy objects.

With a roar of raw rage, Shizuo tore a stop sign out of the sidewalk and used it as a spear which he chucked at his opponent without a second thought.

Izaya, in mid-jump, had no chance to dodge and watched with wide, scared eyes as it went straight through his chest.

Love of mine

Someday you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

The impact sent Izaya careening backwards before landing roughly on his side and skidding to a stop on the pavement, leaving a trail of blood in his wake as people on the street screamed and fled, Shizuo paying them no mind as he stood in the midst of the chaos- arm still raised as he stared awestruck at the now motionless informant.

Shizuo's feet worked before his mind did as he ran over to Izaya, where he gently flipped him onto his back and watched with wide eyes of his own as a trickle of blood trailed out of the corner of the smaller male's mouth, Izaya's eyes still huge, with tears clinging to the lashes. The blonde's heart beat rapidly in his chest and nearly stopped as the hazy crimson eyes locked onto his own, but no words uttered through the blood-stained lips as the eyelids drooped lower and lower.

No blinding light

Or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

Shizuo called for help then. Over and over and over until his voice was raspy and he clung to Izaya, hardly hearing the approaching sirens.

He looked at the flashing red and white lights of the ambulance, and soon felt hands tugging him, voices urging him to let go of the warm body in his arms. He refused vehemently until a small hand grasped his own- and a voice silently whispered "Shizuo" over the wailing of the sirens.

The doctors rushed through the hospital's stark white corridors with a slowly fading Izaya in a rolling hospital bed, Shizuo close behind. The only thing Izaya could see were the white fluorescent lights rushing past, the only thing he heard were the hoarse screams of his own name- laced with a hidden hope that he no longer had...

...and the only thing he felt was the rough hand clinging to his own desperately, sweaty and firm.

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Shizuo waited long hours in the silent waiting room with the white-washed walls, the gossip-filled tabloids, and the incessantly-ticking clock after he was forced away from Izaya. He never stopped pacing until a doctor walked in, spotted him, and walked over with hesitance evident in both his eyes and his stride.

He walked slowly back from the hospital after hearing the news- numb and disbelieving. He let his mind wander, and eventually found himself wondering where the informant's soul did go after death. Neither heaven nor Hell seemed fitting for such a lively, sinning creature.. he wondered if they both took him, and smiled sadly- stopping his meandering as he felt an unfamiliar sting in his eyes while he watched the sun rise for the first time in years.

In Catholic school

As vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised

By a lady in black

He remembered back in high school, every chase, every hunt, every time that name tore from his throat in rage- everything to do with that Izaya were the only memories he recalled from that time. They weren't even bad memories, not at all, the thought made his smile a bit wider at the irony of it all. He'd never even thought to reminisce before this, simply repressing such memories of rage in favor of living in the moment, never learning from his mistakes, never reflecting, never thinking that maybe, just maybe, what he felt for Izaya was not hate... but in fact...

And I held my tongue

As she told me, son

Fear is the heart of love

So I never went back

He stared at the sun for awhile, letting it burn away the water in his eyes. Whatever thought he had just begun thinking was interrupted and forever pushed from his mind as he continued walking toward his apartment complex once more.

Shizuo watched the smiles, the morning greetings, the preparations for the day in indifferent silence.

The world around him was bathed in warmth and light that he himself was incapable of feeling, the world around him continued on even though his own world had stopped spinning.

Why did he have to be such a monster?

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

He opened the door to his apartment, and found himself thinking- who would care about Izaya's death? The man's lonely life would surely reflect the poor attendance at his funeral, even a monster like Shizuo knew Tom and Kasuka would show up to his funeral... Guess the flea's grave wouldn't be so lonely after all. Yet the thought of the funeral depressed him greatly, and made him think about his own life as of right now.

What was he going to do now? Wake up tomorrow morning, pretending he didn't kill a man? The police undoubtedly knew he did it, and would surely show up sometime today to question and inevitably arrest him again.

What do you know, it's the flea's fault. Again.

Not like he planned on seeing the cops anytime soon anyway, but still...

Shizuo felt a pang in his heart as his mind once more brought him to the events of the night.

You and me

We've seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes...

Izaya. The manipulative bastard who was constantly doing something to piss him off. The flea that fucked with the minds of everyone he found interesting in any way, if only for a short while. The louse that he loathed above everyone on the whole godamned planet... He was dead, and Shizuo couldn't understand why he wasn't happy.…He'd wanted this all these years... and now...

Perhaps that was the reason, though. Shizuo had wanted his death for such a long time it seemed surreal now that it had happened, he'd gotten so caught up in all the fights and the adrenaline rushes and the addiction that he forgot about the possibility of Izaya actually dying at all... and now he was gone... with no one to miss him...

He would be forgotten in a few months time, along with their fights, their arguments, their notorious relationship- were all now part of a fading memory, a thing of the past. It was so very depressing, and Shizuo tried to force himself to believe that it wasn't going to be like that at all, and that he would be perfectly fine without the constant disturbances, the spontaneity, the sheer excitement that bred from their fights- he would not miss any of it in the least.

Yet he knew, that a part of himself would fade along with the dissipating memories, and that with each passing day as everyone talked less and less of Izaya- he would eventually be forced to face the terrifying truth.

Izaya was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

Are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

There's nothing to cry about

Cuz we'll hold each other soon

In the blackest of rooms

The unsaid feelings, however, still lingered bitterly in the confines of Shizuo's heart.

He let them fall this time. The tears rolled silently down his cheeks, dripping off his nose, off his chin, onto the floor, his shirt, soaking into the fabric. He watched the blotches wordlessly, trying to get used to this unfamiliar thing called 'crying.'

Shizuo felt something cold graze his fingertips and stared wordlessly at the pistol he had unknowingly removed from his bedroom drawer, not surprised at all to see it resting there in his sweaty palms.

He swallowed, and stared in the mirror- seeing flashes of fights, ivory skin, fur coats, honest laughing, smiles, crimson eyes...

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark


I'll follow you into the dark

On a calm winter day, over half of Ikebukuro crowded around the two open graves of the two deadliest of the city, and mourned or rejoiced in silence as the dirt was slowly shoveled into the holes and in front of the lone headstone, which read:

Izaya and Shizuo Heiwajima

May 4th and January 28th, 1982- December 2nd, 2010

Beloved husbands

"Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute."

And in the heavens above, all Hell was breaking lose.

If you listened hard enough, though, you could hear the soft tinkle of laughter, carried along by the chill of the winter breeze and through the streets of Ikebukuro, where once two men would battle- both in love and in hate, one chasing after the other ceaselessly.

No matter what, no matter where.


Quote on the headstone is Edgar Allan Poe's, song is I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.

INSPIRED by aforementioned song.

This took like a week to actually get the way I wanted it. Mostly because I'm lazy.

There are actually three versions of this, lmao, the first one is actually worded completely differently, while the second only uses the first couple verses. I liked this one the best. SO yeah.