Disclaimer: I do not own Codename Kids Next Door.
He was trapped in hell, he was sure of it. It even had the unbearable heat to go with it.
Nigel Uno sat with arms strictly folded across his chest and a perpetual frown upon his features. The bald man stayed seated on a plain white beach towel dressed in nothing more then his vermilion swim trunks, a pair of old sunglasses, and his eternal misery. He was pretty sure there was nothing he absolutely despised more then the beach. The never ending screams and wails of spoiled children made his ears bleed, the sight of old sweaty hairy men in speedos made him want to gauge his eyes out, he was having personal space problems with some people next to him who couldn't understand how to stay on their side of the bloody hand made sand line, and he swore if that steroid abusing idiot didn't stop making passes at his wife he was going to do something meriting a long term prison sentence.
Thinking of the woman, his steely gaze shifted from glaring at the coastline to side glaring at the blonde temptress who was having such a fantastic time and had no qualms about expressing it. Rachel relaxed comfortably in the orange beach lounge chair they owned sporting a two piece, sky blue bikini with a violet tropical flower pinned with her bisque locks. Her coca orbs sparkled with mirth as her skin absorbed the warmth the sun had to offer, and the ice within her drink clinked against the sweating glass with every subtle move she made.
Nigel's brow twitched as he fully turned his head to face the woman. The woman who had dragged him to this evil place. "Remind me again, why we suddenly needed to come all the way down here?"
"Because," Rachel began as she turned to the Brit with a bubbly grin. "I saw snow on my street this morning." A pleasing breeze picked up, and the dirt blonde gasped in content as it washed over her fluttering her hair slightly. "Really, how could you not love it here?"
"In what order do you want the list? Categorical or alphabetical?" The man grumbled while his nose sniffled as the annoying wind blew a cringe worthy mixture of sand and salty sea air into his sinuses. He had woken up to his spouse sending a dry look out the window as large packets of fluffy whiteness sprinkled down outside their apartment. The very first snow of the year. Before he knew what was going on, he had been ordered to pack their things, and jump on the fastest plane to the tropics. Now here he was, in a place where the sand scorched his skin and got caught in the most uncomfortable of places, and he didn't dare wash it off in the water. The salty liquid would just leave him wet and sticky as he trudged back on shore with wet sand clumping to his heel, and lord knows what sort of things some company had spilt in the ocean this year…
So we're pretty clear that he hates the beach, right?
"You know the birds have the right idea," Rachel's comment caused him to peer over, and he found the blushed woman smiling as she lifted her glass into the air. "From now on, the Unos migrate south every winter!"
"No wonder my uncle changed his name." Nigel grumbled. He then fully turned on his wife with his arms spread, protesting the idea to great lengths. "How can you not like the winter season? There's warm nights by the fire, hot chocolate, and spending the holidays with the family!" He blinked as he suddenly had an afterthought. "Minus your brother."
"I know, I love it." Rachel nodded with agreement. She then turned to Nigel, and lowered her own tinted shades with a face splitting grin. "And the best part is, we can do all that stuff down here, minus the icky snow!"
"But snow's the best part!"
"What are you, ten?"
"Argh!" Nigel gave up as he settled with slumping forward with an annoyed pout. This wasn't fair. Sure, he couldn't enjoy snow like he did when he was a kid, but it sure beat this place any day. Anything did! "I can't believe I have to suffer here because you hate the bloody snow."
At his moody tone, Rachel focused her attention on her glass. "Well, that's not the whole reason…" She trailed off as she nervously fiddled with her straw.
"What else could there possibly be?" Nigel mumbled out bitterly. The Brit jumped slightly when he felt something grasp his hand, and he looked down to see Rachel tugging it up towards her.
"Let's just say," she began as she rubbed his hand between her fingers. After a moment, she placed his palm over her flat stomach and beamed. "You're more likely to get a girl in tropical weather."
Nigel's eyes widened as his face began to light up. For the first time on this entire trip, a smile quickly formed as he stroked the woman's stomach in mild patterns. He glanced up to her heartwarming expression, and his mouth slowly opened to speak his own feeling. But before he could utter a word, a random volley ball smacked him right in the face knocking him down onto the ground as the stray ball bounced away.
"Yo, sorry dude!"
His happiness was short lived as he glared into the glowing sky with his whole face red and sore. He dimly noticed Rachel leaning over him in worry, the tips of her golden hair tickling his cheeks. But he said nothing as he closed his eyes let out a strained groan.
He could only pray that their child took after him. Maybe then he could overrule her beach outings with a two to one vote.
I wake up from dozing off and suddenly there's all this darn snow on the ground. What the heck?