Deck the Stalag…
by 80sarcades


Thank you to all of those who have reviewed my other Christmas entries. Here's another mangled carol for your Christmas fun. Enjoy!

Disclaimer (in heteronym):

I cannot perfect the Heroes, as they are not mine
All I can give is this, which is perfect in time
An object of fun, I hope you laugh merrily
All letters of object will be deleted summarily


Deck the Stalag with girls named Holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
It's the only way we'll ever be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
From the barbed wire to the guard towers
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
And let's not forget those cold damn showers!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

We're prisoners here, and really sad
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Hilda's legs makes us drool like mad
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
The food is some kind of edible mush
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Bread catches fire since it's made of sawdust
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Colonel Klink dreams of General gain
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
We never figured where he put his brain
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Sergeant Schultz is the leader of the Guards
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
He'll see nothing for two chocolate bars
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Colonel Hogan has an honorable mind
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Otherwise he'd be in organized crime
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Newkirk can be charming and kind
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Watch yourself or he'll rob you blind
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Only in the Army is it ever really done
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Give Carter explosives and say 'Have fun!'
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
LeBeau is French, full of Gallic pride
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Even short guys get lucky on the side
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Kinch stays behind to run the radio
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Wonder if Bruno knew he'd been KO'd?
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fine men there, Hogan's dream team
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Makes Hochstetter just want to scream
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

The Major runs around less than nice
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Conned by Hogan twice and thrice
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
He'll never win, he'll fail in time
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Otherwise he'd ruin this fine rhyme
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Merry Christmas!

[fin/ende]


A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews, of course, are always appreciated!