A/n from Jessica: YAY new fic!

Warning slash and smut!

Disclaimer: Don't own the WWE don't own anyone

"So tell me again why we're celebrating?"

Randy looked over to where Ted and Cody were sitting, stilling his task of raiding the mini-bar for free drinks. "Well, because…"

"Yeah considering you just lost your title," Ted piped up, pointing to Randy, "I'm consistently losing, and any momentum Cody had was stopped by CM Punk calling him gay on national television."

"Hey!" Cody said, slapping Ted on the arm, "that's not what he said. And that's not what he meant."

"Cody please," Ted said, rolling his eyes, as Randy chuckled at their bickering, "he said you and Pat Patterson have a lot in common. He was calling you gay."

"Nooo," Cody said, shaking his head, "he totally meant that I would be a great Inter-continental champion, that's all."

"Uh-huh. Cody I think all of those cucumber face masks are fucking with your head."

Randy smiled as he continued rummaging through his hotel room in search of booze. While Ted was right—there wasn't really much cause of celebration for them these days, Randy was glad he'd called together his former protégés tonight. With Cody on Smackdown, nights like these where they could just party and drink until they passed out were definitely few and far between.

He glanced at Ted and Cody who looked like they were about to start play-wrestling again; after they got some alcohol in them, they certainly would.


"Not a word." Ted chimed in.

"Yes it is—irregardless, I for one am glad that we can forget about everything and get shit-faced. I totally need this," Cody said, reaching towards one of the bottles of champagne Randy had set in front of them.

"Yeah, same here," Ted said as he began pouring shots of Bacardi, "It's so hard being me."

Randy rolled his eyes, opening a beer for himself, "Yeah Ted it's sooo hard being you. You just have so many misfortunes."

"I do!" Ted said, flustered. "You guys have no idea how tough it is—I have so many problems."

"Yeah Randy where's your sensitivity?" Cody scolded, comfortingly rubbing Ted's shoulder. "Poor Teddy, you got lots of problems don't you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes life is so hard." Ted said, laying his head on Cody's shoulder.

"God…" Randy muttered, sipping his beer. If Ted started getting all emo again he was leaving.

"Hey!" Cody said, petting Ted's head like he was a puppy. "Be nice. Would you look at Ted? With a face like that you can't help but be troubled."

Randy burst out laughing, moving away from the two as Ted tried to take a swing at Cody.

"Hardy-har." Ted said, scooting away from Cody and stealing the shots Cody had laid out for himself.

"Oh Ted don't be like that!" Cody said in between giggles, "I mean it's not like everyone can look like this.

Ted raised his eyebrow as Cody posed, pout on his face like he did in the ring. "You suck. And I'm not talking to you for the rest of the night. Now someone hand me a drink."

"Oooh ohhhh! It's Mr. Steal yo' girl! It's Mr. Steal yo' girl!" Ted yelled, nearly empty bottle of champagne in his hands, singing the lyrics at the top of his lungs.

"Shh! Ted shut up!" Randy said, throwing a pillow across the room as Ted continued, "You have no girls, you are gay! Quit singing Trey Songz songs! Ha-ha…Songz songs. That's funny."

"No Randy! I gotta' sing! You know that this—that uh…that this is my jam!" Ted yelled, dancing along to the music in his head, "Bottoms up, bottoms up"—

"Ted! Hey Teddy!" Cody yelled, waving his arms in front of his face, "Pssst! Ted!"

"What?" Ted stopped spinning in a circle long enough to turn to Cody.

"Am I—uhh," Cody hiccupped between words, "Am I prettier than Nicki Min—Muh—uhh…that one girl?"

Ted gasped, staring at Cody, horror across his face, "Of course Cody! She ain't prettier than you baby-boy. You're dashing!"

"…Thank you Teddy!" Cody said, hugging his best friend for dear life, "You're soooo nice, Teddy you're my best friend. Y'know what? Imma—I'm gonna' teach ya' how to be dashing too."

Randy giggled to himself as Cody started to lecture Ted about the proper use of moisturizing, even drunkenly fumbling in his pocket for a bottle of lotion—cucumber melon of course.

The night had definitely been a success, aside from Ted puking all over the place. But they were all genuinely having a great time, letting loose for the first time in who knows how long.

"Y'know what," Ted proclaimed, pushing Cody aside, "I am…I'm drunk! Cody! Let's sing! We gotta sing again. Wa-ohh! Something, something, smoking mirrors!"

Cody laughed, sputtering his drink all over himself, "Ted, shh! Ya' gotta be quiet! All our neighbors are gonna come kill you!"

"Pshh…fuck them. They just—they suck. Stupid neighbors…ha-ha, I love that song. Bet the neighbors know my name, my my my name!"

"No Teddy, no more Trey Songz songs!" Cody giggled to himself, "ha that is funny. No Teddy, no more. You gotta quit man, we—we're gonna get in trouble!"

"Well fuck you too!" Teddy yelled, throwing his hands in the air as he began drunkenly walking to the bathroom. "I'm just gonna go sing to myself, that'll teach you bastards…"

Ted slammed the door, his off-key voice being heard screaming Cody's theme song.

Cody giggled, making his way over to Randy, swaying slightly as he plopped down on his lap.

Randy let out an 'oomph' of protest, confused by the drunken leer on Cody's face.

"Codes, why ya' looking at me like that?"

Cody smirked, getting in Randy's personal space, "Guess what Randy? I gotta secret."

He took Randy's expectant face that he should continue, moving himself so he was straddling Randy's corded thighs.

"You are…you're really hot Randy," Cody said, trying to peel off his t-shirt, "and I…I think we should fuck."

Randy's eyes nearly popped out of his head, pushing Cody away as he began kissing down his neck. "Wha? Cody no, we can't have sex!"

"Why not," Cody asked, unclasping Randy's belt despite his protests, "you're hot, I'm definitely hot…" Cody leaned closer, softly pecking Randy's lips, lowering his voice, "and I think we should fuck."

Well who could resist that logic?

Randy leaned forward, capturing Cody's lips, biting his lower lip as his tongue was granted access into Cody's warm mouth. He reached in between them, ripping the belt out of his pants the best he could in his current state, lips never leaving Cody's. Cody moaned into his mouth, reaching down to unzip Randy's jeans, fingers skimming across the already prominent bulge there.

"Mmm…Already hard Randy?" Cody taunted, "that's gotta be a new record for me personally." Cody reached down, peeling his shirt of his chest, rubbing his hands down his smooth chest, tweaking his nipples as he passed.

"You gonna fuck me Randy?" Cody asked, sloppily biting at Randy's neck and chest as he removed his shirt, "gonna fuck me real hard?"

Randy growled, snatching Cody's head and crashing his lips against Cody's, practically devouring the younger man's tongue, moving to stand off the couch, yanking Cody's pants and boxers down to his ankles.

Cody kicked his jeans off, stepping back to show off his naked body to Randy. "Like what ya see Randy?"

Cody turned to face the wall behind him, reaching up and bracing his hands across it, "need you to fuck me so bad Randy, want it so bad."

He heard Randy moan behind him at the sight, spurring Cody on as he continued goading Randy. "Gotta have it Randy—uhh so big and hard, gotta have you."

He reached down, trailing his fingers up and down his thighs, teasing Randy, before slowly circling around his hole, pushing one of his digits in.

"So hot for you, baby…C'mon Randy come give it to me," Cody said, turning around facing Randy, lust-filled eyes widening as they met with the sight of Randy running his fist slowly up and down his hard cock, lips parted as he watched Cody.

Cody let out a moan, stroking his own cock as they watched each other. "Bed. Now."

The two of them barely made it to Randy's bedroom, hands grasping at hot, hard bodies. Cody pushed Randy onto the bed, the older man falling on his back, Cody immediately climbing on top of him.

Without much fanfare, Cody bent down, taking Randy's hard member in his mouth, suckling on the head, as he bobbed his head up and down.

Randy moaned at the feeling of Cody's hot mouth wrapped around his dick, the feel of his tongue probing his slit almost causing him to come right then and there.

Cody moved further down, taking Randy farther in his throat until his nose was touching the smooth skin of his groin. Randy gave an animalistic growl, roughly grabbing Cody's head and threading his fingers in the dark hair, thrusting into the warm mouth.

Cody took all that he gave, maneuvering himself to take Randy's thrusts, breathing through his nose as he reached down to play with Randy's balls, massaging the soft skin.

Randy jerked Cody off of him abruptly, eyes darkened with lust as he took in the sight of Cody standing in front of him, hair disheveled, saliva still dripping down his face as he bit his kiss-swollen bottom lip.

Leaning up, Randy smashed their lips together, tasting himself on Cody's lips, flipping them over as he quickly moved down Cody's body, spreading his legs wide, tight little pucker quivering in anticipation of what was to come.

"Oooh Randy yes…Oh my fucking God, yes!" Cody yelled, as Randy circled his hole with his tongue, licking up and down before delving his tongue inside, stretching him.

Randy moaned from above him, sticking his tongue further inside him, licking around the rim as Cody pushed back against his face, trying to get him even deeper.

"More Randy…Oooh please gimme more, need it Randy. Need you." Cody moaned, wrapping his hands in the sheets, grasping so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Randy leaned back, quickly bringing two fingers to his mouth, liberally coating his fingers with saliva. Satisfied, he thrust them both into Cody, a sharp gasp falling from his parted lips.

"More Randy, please more," Cody moaned, reaching below him to stroke his member, precum already steadily leaking from the head.

Curling his fingers towards himself, Randy groaned, the panty gasps falling from Cody's mouth going straight to his cock.

Unable to take anymore, Cody leaned up, grabbing Randy by the back of the head, bringing their lips together. "Now Randy; gotta have you in me right now."

Randy obliged, reaching down to stroke his dick a few times, lubing himself with precum before lining up behind Cody, pushing his head into the tight ring of muscle.

Randy moaned, the tight heat wrapped around his cock almost too much for him. He pushed further, fully seating himself inside Cody.

"Move Randy, go…c'mon Randy, make me come."

Randy couldn't hold back anymore after that, thrusting into Cody so hard the bedsprings began squeaking, the headboard slamming against the wall, nearly breaking it. He moved his hips quickly, pulling almost all the way out before snapping his hips forward, striking Cody's sweet spot each time, causing him to cry out in pleasure.

"Uhh…Randy so close, almost there. Touch me Randy, so close."

Nearly about to come himself, Randy reached down grasping Cody's member in his hand, quickly jerking until he heard his name fall from Cody's mouth, hot thick streams covering his hand as he milked Cody dry.

The tight clenching of Cody around Randy's dick was finally too much for him; Randy giving a loud groan before thrusting once more, empting himself into Cody's spent body, shallowly thrusting as he came down from his high.

Randy collapsed next to Cody, bringing the younger man into his arms, kissing his head softly as he began to drift to sleep, a wide smile on his face.

The light woke Randy up first, the blinding rays coming from behind the shades someone forgot to close. Slowly cracking open his eyes, Randy was surprised to find Cody in front of him, blue eyes twinkling, grin firmly in place.

"What are you so happy about Mr. Runnels?" Randy asked, voice thick.

Cody smiled, reaching down to adjust the sheet wrapped carelessly around his waist, "Oh nothing, just remind me to thank Ted will ya?"

Randy's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, "thank him for what?"

"Disappearing last night so I could finally get you to do what we both know you've wanted to for a long time."

Randy smirked, rolling the two of them over so Cody was on his back, Randy on top. "What you do say we thank him later?"

A/n from Jessica: And the awesome return of Drunk Ted! for our amazing fans who knows what the fuck im talking about, thts for you! and you kirbey! i know you love your drunk ted! i hope i made you proud!

Review plzz :)