Disclaimer:This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: Looking for a beta-reader, so I will get this edited as soon possible.
Harry wondered if he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life.
Often when he was alone, things long buried crept back to the front of his thoughts. Some were things that he knew if anyone ever even suspected that he had thought them, he would be in Azkaban right now. Others were simple things like remembering that he wanted to read a certain book, or purchase something the next Hogsmead weekend. Sometimes he would even get confronted with a memory from his childhood. Then there were the ones that made him consider running away from everything he had in his life, but then he remembered what he had before and the thought wouldn't reenter his mind again.
Now on the one of the most important days of his life, he couldn't seem to think of anything else.
He turned, and smiled at the Weasley twins who peaked in through the crack of the door. "Hey, guys."
"Are you all set, Harry?" He thought it was Fred who asked, his skin always seemed paler than his brothers.
"I think so." His voice shook.
"Is something wrong?" George asked as he took a seat in the chair beside the window, Harry turned to look out the window, and chose not to speak. Fred smiled sadly at him, as he saw Harry stroke his ring finger.
"You can tell us, you know? We won't say anything." Harry didn't see who spoke that time. While their skin had differences, their voices sounded too similar to tell apart.
Harry sighed before he moved away from the window and took the only vacant seat at the small table. He ran a hand through his hair, even though he knew the activity would cause his hair to become the disarrayed disaster Hermione had struggled so fiercely with to get to stay down, but he didn't care.
"I just—I don't know if I'm doing the right thing here." Harry sighed at last.
"Do you love Ginny?" Harry thought it a peculiar question for George to ask.
Harry contemplated the question. He loved the camaraderie he had with Ginny, though he had to admit to himself that it had been a long time since the redhead had behaved like the friend he remembered. The Ginny that he dated in the beginning was the Ginny he really loved, but he was terrified that he was about to bond with the wrong Ginny.
"… I don't know anymore."
Fred reached across the table, took Harry's hand in his, and gave it a comforting squeeze. He considered the man in front of him and decided that several former suspicions undoubtedly were spot on; especially that what Harry felt went beyond last minute hesitations. He could even sense the silky impression of Harry's magic as it danced across his palm, an unconscious display of nerves; he wondered if Harry had even noticed the chaotic feel of his own magic.
"We can put off the bonding ceremony for a bit, till you get everything straightened out-"
"No! George we can't do that. After everything that your mother had done for us and Ginny would be so… heartbroken. Besides I really do want to be a proper brother to you and a son to your parents, I can say that without any hesitation at all."
The twins shared a look, it was worse than they thought.
"But, Harry, you ought to be just as confident that you want to be Ginny's husband as you are that you desire to be considered a part of our family. Besides you know that all, okay I'll be honest, most of our family already consider you to be a Weasley."
Harry shook his head; his untamed locks fell into his eyes. "No, it's not the same thing. You've seen how thrilled your mother has been about having me a son, finally. I-I just can't disappoint them."
George didn't need Harry to explain who the 'them' was. Everyone knew that many had expectations of their own pertaining to Harry; especially ones who claimed to want what was best for Harry. After witnessing certain things, George wasn't so sure who actually knew what the best for Harry was; maybe not even Harry himself.
"Is there something else?"
As he looked away, Harry mulled over Fred's question. Of course, there was something else, more like someone else, if he was truthful with himself. Could he really tell the twins about something he only recently allowed himself to acknowledge? He looked into George's kind blue eyes and wanted to thump himself. Of course he could trust them; they were the only people who stuck with him regardless of the situation, the only ones that he trusted exceeding all others. He could tell them anything.
"There was an end of the year party at Hogwarts, to celebrate the final day of lessons," he began, "I was troubled about some things and decided I would rather be by myself. On the way to the Room of Requirement I spotted a couple approaching from down the corridor, not wanting to be seen, I hid in an alcove to wait for them to pass. It ended up being someone I didn't expect to see with the other person. I still can't get them out of my head. It's not really who was with him, it's just that I had always thought there was no chance, and to see that there might have been…"
"Harry—why didn't you tell us sooner that you were gay?"
"Because I didn't know if you would still want to be my friend and I just wanted to pretend like it wasn't true. Oh Merlin, I can't stop thinking that if only I had said something that maybe he would have at least given me a chance. It's one of many regrets I have about my time at Hogwarts. What do I do?"
Fred gave his hand another reassuring squeeze and said, "Harry, if nothing else you owe it to Ginny not to deceive her. It's one thing to be gay and get hitched, but if you think you might have feelings for someone else, then you shouldn't lead Ginny on."
"… Even if it's Malfoy?"
Their eyes widened in astonishment; today was certainly full of surprises. Malfoy, as in Draco Albino Ferret Malfoy? George could entirely understand Harry's dilemma concerning his attraction, but unlike the Golden Trio, the twins had never had a problem with the former Slytherin. The animosity between the two boys was legendary; the fights even made front page in the Daily Prophet if the news was slow that day.
"Yes, Harry even if it is Malfoy. You deserve a chance to find happiness like everyone else, and so does Ginny and even the Ferret but you need to have these things sorted out before you are married Harry because to cheat on Ginny once you're bonded would be very wrong, and sometimes even impossible. You're going to be bound, Harry. Once that happens there is no going back. You need to decide now if you want to live a lie for the rest of your life, or finally live your life like you want."
"Do you really think-" but Harry did not get to finish his sentence because a loud disturbance from down the hall distracted them. They shared a questioning glance; then stood from their chairs, and proceeded to discover precisely what was going on.
The screams filled the hall.
His fiancé's body shook violently on the stone tiles, a mix of screams and cries destroying the otherwise silent room, unmistakable red hair smothered in the blood.
I almost smile but instead hold the curse longer. Her face is twisted into a painful expression, her once beautiful face marred beyond recognition.
I release the curse; it had already served its purpose. Her screams subside instantly. She's sweaty, blood covered hair sticking to her face, her naked body sliced from the sharp edges of the stone. She pants but remains still, she's apprehensive of what he'll do next. He can see it in her eyes; eyes that once only before held hatred as she told him exactly how she felt.
I walk towards her and she whimpers, eyeing me. She's a pureblood, she knew the risks.
"You're an ungrateful slut," I whisper in her ear. "That's all you ever were, and that's all you'll ever be."
(The disturbance in the hallway.)
Harry would never forget the look on Ginny's face the moment she realized he had seen everything.
Her expression went from smug to scared, but then changed to one he had never seen on her face, hate.
She didn't wait for Hermione to stop yelling at her for cheating on Harry with Neville Longbottom; Harry thought it odd that she was only emphasizing the fact that it was the wedding day, not the actually cheating.
No, Ginny came straight over to Harry and started pointing out every flaw she had ever noticed about him, adding in a few opinions of his life throughout.
He didn't have enough ambitions.
His kissing technique could use some work.
He was shorter then her.
His own best friend only used him for his fame and money.
He had only the Dursley's, and they hated him.
His penis was apparently smaller than any of her previous lovers; she made no mention of current ones.
He dressed like a beggar from Knockturn Alley.
And on and on it went, until Harry just couldn't take anymore. He had no idea where Fred and George had gone, probably frozen from shock.
He was glad for consulting his solicitor about his engagement to Ginny, otherwise he knew that he would have never known that wizarding engagements had certain rules; and if you broke them, your partner could do anything for compensation. Of course Ginny never mentioned that to him, that would have been stupid of her, especially if she had been sleeping around all along.
He decided not to kill her.
That would make him look bad, and he wasn't sure if his relationship with the twins would survive that. His hope of Ron's friendship being intact or even genuine evaporated the moment he entered the hall.
That was the first of many mistakes Harry made in the wizarding world, but after today he resolved to try and fix as many as he could.