Hello, folks, and welcome to my first Adult story, based on the comic grown-ups call Kick-Ass. Now before we begin, I should warn everyone that like Mark Millar's version, this will contain language and scenes that people may find offensive. If you are under 17, please DO NOT read this. Otherwise, I will be getting angry letters, and in big trouble. So please, under 17, don't read. Other than that, I own nothing except Abby. This is for fan-purpopses only, please don't sue!

I always wondered why nobody did it before Kick-Ass. I mean, c'mon. With all the super hero movies and stuff like that, you'd think that somebody would try it. Well, this is my story.

Now if someone told you I was just a sweet little girl, not a care in the world...well, they're actually right. My name is Abby. Abby Adriene. I enjoyed HEROES, Back to the Future, Cheerleading (Even though I never actually got in,) and of course, comic books.

I really didn't have any friends in real life, except I liked to be associated with this boy in my school Dave Lewziski, and his friends. Although, every time I tried to talk to them, they just shot down my attempts.

Dickheads.

But back to comic books. I LOVE them. I read Ms. Marvel, Any Avengers books, Spider-Girl, She-Hulk, and much more. Yeah, I'm not that kind of 'oh-so-sweet girl.' So when I learned about this new superhero in real life called Kick-Ass, I decided that I was gonna go and be my own superhero.

I remembered reading an arc on Amazing Spider-Man called American Son, and decided that's what I wanted to be. A bad-ass female Captain America with balls. I ordered my costume, a cheerleading skirt made to look red-white-and-blue with an eagle on it, and then went to work on names.

On the day it arrived, I was just unpacking it, when my Myspace page said Kick-Ass was to have a big announcement. The E-Mail said that he would announce his retirement, which disappointed me, but I figured what-the-hell and decided to watch it.

Instead, however, what I got was a live feed of some guys in black masks beating up Kick-Ass and a guy who the called 'Big Daddy,' and looked somewhat like Batman. I frantically watched insane, as Kick-Ass and Big Daddy continued to get the sleaze kicked outta them, until a girl, probably no much older than ten-years-old, was taking out all the bad guys there. She killed every last one, then put a cloth over Big Daddy and went to the screen.

"Shows over, mother fuckers." She said, before shooting the screen, leaving me there, shocked. It was decided. I wanted her for my first team-up. Screw Kick-Ass and that looser, Red Mist. I wanted this freaky little girl as my first team-up ever.

...

The next day, I decided to wear my costume underneath my clothes, and headed out to school. I gotta tell you, it was a BLAST, having nobody know that you were really a superhero. Those suckers in school didn't even suspect me.

After hours and hours of class, I learned that Kick-Ass had announced he was hanging up the cape (even though he didn't have one,) and so I decided to go on patrol.

I took my time walking around the rooftops, but could find no crime, and no Kick-Ass, Big Daddy, or even that freaky ten-year-old girl from the killing video.

Man, I thought to myself as I saw the sun was setting, What I wouldn't give for one of those guys...

That's when someone kicked me in the back, sending me near the ledge of the roof.

"Ah," A voice said, "And what do we have here?"

I looked up and saw Red Mist, only he was wearing a cloth for a mask that exposed his black hair, and he now had a pointy beard on his chin.

"Red Mist?" I asked confused.

"No," He said, "You can call me the Motherfucker. Now, I see you're new to this superhero shit, but I'm a villain now, so I'm going to give you one of two options: either help me in my quest to kill and destroy Kick-Ass, or die for a foolish cause."

"Like hell I will!" I declared, attempting to sock him in the face.

The Mothefucker just dodged, and grabbed my hand breaking it on his knee. I yelled in pain and backed up. He just then spun around and socked me in the face good.

"It's a shame," I heard him say, "We could've really been a great team."

The bastard had blinded me, so that I practically couldn't see. My eyes were bleeding so bad, that I had to pun my hand over them, so I didn't notice what was happening...

Till I felt the ground disappear before me. I felt a rush of air, and took my hands off just in time to see the ground, before I hit it face-first, feeling all my bones crack at once upon impact.

I cried in pain. I was bleeding everywhich way. My bones were now shit. Then I looked up and saw Red Mist taking out a gun...

...and then he shot me right in the chest.

That was that. I started to fade. All I could think of was that I looked like a bum, and my parents were gonna kill me.

Reviews appreciated.