I am so sorry if you are offended by this in any way! If you're like me, you look at stories with 'OC' in it with contempt. Many of those has direct self-inserts- with the person even putting their own name, height, and everything- as the characters that no one wants to look at, or some Mary-Sue that honestly, not many people want to read about.

Alright, well, that's a bit overdramatic. I guess it's just me XD, but personally, I've been annoyed with the excess amounts of characters with female OCs on the female-dominated fanfiction (not that there aren't male writers).

This is what I think would really happen if an OC self-insert story came true.

I don't own Assassin's Creed, and I'm very sorry if this was offensive. This wasn't poking fun at anyone or anyone's stories, and like I said- almost every story with OCs is not special, not yours in particular. Yours could be an outlier of awesome! :D

Moving on.

This character isn't me, but I think it represents most Mary-Sue's.


I was playing Assassin's Creed 2 in my living room one day. I live a weird life where I'm the only normal one at school. All the other girls are raving mad girls who prance around in short skirts, dye their hair different colors every week, and make fun of everyone. There's a blonde leader to the group that everyone seems to follow for some reason. They're also all on the cheerleading team- yes, every other girl in the school because for some odd reason I'm the only normal one. They say, "You're such a loser. What kind of person doesn't talk like a mental cheerleader from a chick flick? It's like, ridiculous. Ugh!" And of course, I reply with a completely stereotypical comment like,

"At least I have brains." They get randomly offended.

"Well, we shouldn't hang out with someone who has no friends!" And everyone suddenly laughs at me. Suddenly, I make some other comment like,

"I know you are but what am I." And she turns, throws the first punch so I'm not at fault, and I defend myself by beating her up with my superior black-belt-in-ten-thousand-martial-arts skills. Then she makes fun of me again and I put on a serious face but inside my heart is aching with the pains of loneliness.

In the end, I'm playing Assassin's Creed, and something happens and suddenly, Altair, Malik, Ezio, Leonardo, Desmond, and Shaun all appear in my living room- for some reason them and only them, because every person knows that when people suddenly appear from a game it has to be the guy and his romantic partner.

"Mother? MOTHERRRR?" I yelled. Before I could finish, Ezio was yelling in shock in Italian, Leonardo was backing up and trying to hide, Desmond was looking around in confusion, but not with a look that said the environment was unfamiliar, Shaun looked shocked but quite the same, Malik look surprised and unsure of what to do, and Altair had his hidden blade dug into my throat. That was how everything went. The REAL Assassin didn't stick around and listen to me be snarky, Mary-Sue-ish and sarcastic. He killed me, didn't make out with Malik, Ezio didn't make out with Leonardo, and Desmond was not shagging Shaun after 2 minutes of sudden declarations of love in the world I lived in. Instead, they all magically went back into the game, and my mother came up and found me a bloody mess, because the real world just doesn't quite work that way.


Please keep in mind I am NOT against Desmond/Shaun, Ezio/Leonardo, or Altair/Malik (the latter of which is kind of my OTP… XD) but I just thought I'd make it realistic. PLEASE don't be offended by this! This was meant to be humorous… Please tell me if you thought any part of this was offensive!

Also, it'd be nice if you could tell me whether or not you're somewhat annoyed with the multitude of OC fanfics in the Assassin's Creed section, because I'm pretty darned sure it's not me…

Thanks so much for reading!

Pffft. Wrote this in like, 5 minutes. XDDD