So I took a random twitter poll and asked if you'd rather see all the outtakes at once or as I do them. Majority said as I did them so here is the first of many. I have two more planned and should post before Christmas. Another planned for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence Campaign and a few more as time opens up!
Thank you to stupidlamb118 for betaing and morethanmyself for pre-reading.
I don't own Twilight.
"Hey babe, I'm sorry it's going to be another late night. I'll call you back later, I gotta go." The answering machine beeped signalling the end of the message and I sighed. I had just walked in from picking Nathan up at his bus stop and noticed the blinking red light.
I hated that blinking red light.
Every time I'd see it I would know it was another excuse. Another "late night" or "another surgery popped up" or "I'm sorry"...the words changed, but the meaning stayed the same.
That blinking red light was just another reminder that I was married to a different man than I thought I had
When Edward and I first met it was pretty much love at first glance. He was a doctor, and although he had many redeeming qualities, I wouldn't lie and say that his money wasn't attractive. I had been raised with parents who made a little more than average, and I liked knowing Edward could provide the stability I craved in a husband. When he asked me out I really expected to feel indifference once I got past his face, but then the more I learned the more I fell in love with him.
Immediately, Edward told me about his son and his mother. He explained the situation to me, and although he told me the initial reason why they broke up had to do with the fear she was after his wallet, I knew the second I met her that wasn't the case. I was always secretly jealous of Bella because she shared something with Edward that I hadn't, but in the same breath I pitied her. I saw how the Cullen's treated her when it was very obvious to me she was not after anyone's money. However, it didn't stop me from jumping all over her to ensure Esme continued to like me.
Meeting Esme Cullen scared me to death. I feared she would accuse me of the same thing she had done to Bella. Edward hadn't brought anyone else home since her, but my fears were gone within the first five minutes. She immediately loved me and for that, I was thankful.
"Mom, this is Tanya," Edward gestured to me.
Esme cocked her head to the side for a minute before turning her lips into a smile.
"You're as wonderful as he told me you were."
From that day on, we were as thick as thieves.
Alice and Emmett hated me, but I later learned it was because Esme gave me such a quick approval. I didn't know the exact details of their significant others, but I did know Esme did not like Jasper or Rosalie.
My relationship with Edward seemed perfect. He was a complete and perfect gentleman, albeit paranoid about birth control, but I understood that quirk.
"Edward, can't we skip the condom tonight?" I whined. I had been on the birth control shot for years now and had never had a scare, and I couldn't stand the feel of rubber.
"Tanya," Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, but..."
I cut him off with my lips and let the subject drop. He never wavered, even after we were married.
The changes didn't start taking place until we were married and moved in together. Slowly I watched him spend more time at the hospital then normal or with Nathan. I never wanted to take time away from his son, but I felt like he was using the hospital as an excuse. My fears were confirmed when I overheard a conversation he was having on the phone with his dad.
"What shift?" Edward asked into the receiver.
"Eight PM to eight AM," Carlisle answered.
"Ugh, I hate that time frame, but yeah I'll take it," Edward affirmed.
"Are you sure? I can try and find someone else, you just got married and I know you need time." Carlisle gave Edward the perfect out, but Edward still jumped at the shift.
The very next day he told me about adding a new shift and said his dad just couldn't find anyone else to replace it. In my head, I was screaming "LIAR!" However, I smiled and nodded and did my best not to cry.
There was a point where I had considered Edward was cheating on me, but then I stalked the hospital for a few nights and realized he really was just working. It didn't stop me from trying to seduce him, but I was generally rebuffed. He was tired, he had a headache...he sounded like a damn girl.
When I broached the idea of children I didn't miss the eyes widen or look of repulsion, before he explained he wasn't ready yet. He also didn't touch me for over a month after that.
"Miss Tanya," Nathan's thoughts brought me out of my thoughts.
I looked up and noticed Nathan was holding out his homework assignment to show me he had it done. I took it, looked over his answers, initialled before handing it back to him. His teacher was having trouble with the students doing their work, so a parent had to initial the assignment to ensure they knew it was done. Since I knew Edward wasn't coming home, the task was left up to me.
"All of your answers looked correct." I smiled back at him.
"He's not coming home is he?" Nathan questioned and I shook my head no. His face didn't fall anymore. Nathan now expected it.
"Do you want me to call your mom?" I asked. Although I had absolutely no problem with him staying in the house, there had been a few times where he'd flat out asked to go home to Bella.
He nodded so I picked up the phone.
"Working late again?" Bella asked after she picked up the phone.
"Yeah, I offered to call you and he nodded," I explained.
"I'm on my way." Bella disconnected the phone, and had him picked up fifteen minutes later.
Four hours I was parking at a Seattle hotel where I was meeting Garrett.
Garrett and I had known each other almost our entire lives. We disconnected when I moved to Washington, but with the explosion of social networking sites he had found me on MySpace. What started off as talking turned into an affair. I wasn't proud of it nor did I flaunt him around, but it just happened. Edward and I had turned into roommates while I took care of his son when it was his turn for "visitation".
"Don't you look stunning," Garrett beamed when he saw me. My heart still longed for Edward's love, but Garrett at least wanted me. He was also married, but battling through a lengthy divorce.
"Thank you," I whispered back before he had me pinned beneath him on the bed.
Garrett made me feel like a woman as he ravished me from head to toe. Every time he flew in I felt more alive and I knew I could reasonably be happy with him forever. The problem was Garrett didn't have a lot of money because of child support and divorcing his wife, Kate. Thankfully, I had never met her, but she sounded like a real wacko from the way he described her.
"We could kill him," Garrett suggested that night as I laid in his arms.
"No," I snapped. I was initially appalled at the mere idea of killing him...of killing anyone.
"Tanya he's made you believe you're worthless and his son doesn't even know him. When you divorce you walk away with nothing. At least if he's dead you get his life insurance."
I sighed. He had a point.
"Tanya, think about it. You get the money, we meet up a few months later, and we both get out happily ever afters...together. It'll be perfect. We can buy a house on the beach, make a few babies...I swear I'll do anything to give you want," he kissed my forehead. "We could be perfect, Baby, can't you just see it." He took his arm out and motioned in front of him. His bigger picture was far brighter than the one I lived in now.
As much as Garrett's explanation made sense, I agreed to nothing that night. I couldn't just agree to go and have someone killed, I needed time. Silently I prayed that Edward would still change, even thought I knew hoping was futile.
I drove back home to my empty house and waited for Edward to come home. Several hours of waiting later, I got a hug and kiss goodnight. No 'how was your day' or 'you look lovely'...just nothing.
I was so angry and hurt and resentful that I called Garrett and told him I was in. I had spent too much of my life loving a man who didn't love me back and I deserved compensation. What I didn't count on was having to put Nathan in the middle of it.
"So I was thinking I could get Edward to agree to go on a vacation with me," I explained over the phone. "We could have some freak accident or something. No questions asked."
Garrett and I were bouncing ideas off each other as to how to make Edward's death look like an accident so I would receive his full benefits without too many questions.
"That may work. Do you think he'd go for it?" Garrett wondered out loud.
"He's been promising me a vacation for like ever, so it should."
I looked up at the clock and realized it was about time to go pick Nathan up from his bus stop.
"Hey, I need to go get Nathan." I had just realized the time and he was about to be let out at his bus stop.
"We can keep talking later, but what are we going to do about the kid?" At first I didn't realize what Garrett meant, so I stayed silent. "Tanya, I guarantee Edward's will has everything being left to that kid or at least most of it, so he's got to go too."
"I can't kill a child," I stated seriously. The mere idea made me nauseous.
"You don't have to, I will. You just figure out the logistics." Garrett rattled off different ideas he had and each one made me ill to hear.
"But..." I started, but Garrett silenced me. We hung up and promised to talk later.
We got off the phone and I dashed upstairs. If I ran I would still make it, but I had to find Edward's will. We both had them made up shortly after we were married, but I'd never looked at his before that day. I grabbed it out of the safe and read as quickly as I could.
My heart dropped when I realized Garrett was right. Not only was Nathan receiving the house, but most of his assets and a larger portion of his life insurance.
I tossed the papers back into the safe with the intention of cleaning up later and bolted out the door. I made it to his bus stop with only seconds to spare.
Nathan greeted me with a smile as he waved goodbye to his friends. As the bus pulled away and we began out trek home I realized what had to be done. I also had just figured out how we were going to do it.
So I hope everyone enjoyed this. I am very sorry it's shorter than my average chapters, but to be honest, much more of Tanya would have me gauging my eyes out. Yours too probably. I want to say that I in no way expect people to think I'm trying to make Tanya redeemable, because I'm not. I just wanted people to see she didn't always start out evil, but in the end, she turned that way. She may have some good traits, but not enough to take over the bad.
Blind Intentions will be updating tomorrow night. I'll do my best to update before my daughter's dance lesson, but I'm babysitting another toddler in the afternoon so we'll see.
Totally OT to BI, but The Cherry Exchange just started voting today. I wrote a o/s called Breaking Faith that stars a ChristianWard and ChristianElla! Check it out and vote :) http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2530160/The_Cherry_Exchange