This is particularly random. It's a series of one-shots, based on my mood. Like right now, this chapter will be humor. I'll try keep it light, but no promises. You can send me your quotes and a plot, I'll add it in this and give you credit! Taking requests! Woop woop.


Original Quote: "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?".

My Quote: "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable?.. Like a coma."

In which, Paul thought he was getting lucky with Bella.




"Dude, shut up, she's here!"

"How do you know?"

"Can't you hear that beast of a truck?"

.. Silence ..


"Oh yeah, I hear it."

"Paul, you are such a retard."

"Permission to speak, almighty alpha?" Paul asked Jacob tauntingly. Jacob wasn't yet the alpha of their pack, but hell everyone knew he was the rightful one.

"Permission granted." Jacob spoke without missing a beat, an arrogant smirk upon his face.

"You're an asshole."

Wide eyes. Silence. Growling. Phasing.

"Why is Jacob a wolf-man inside?" Bella asked, her voice stripped of emotion clearly bored with this scene.

"Dude, anyone would think you've seen this a thousand times." Jared spoke up. "You're good with weird."

Bella flipped him off casually.




As time passed, it dwindled down to only a few people, Bella and Paul to be exact.

"So, Bella.." Paul started casually. "Ever been with a wolf before?" Eyebrow raised.

Without moving her eyes from the TV screen, "Yes."

Eyebrows dropped.

"What? Seriously?" Confusion. "Jake?" Bella slowly turned to look at Paul.

"No, not Jake."


"Guess again."

A minute passed. Two minutes. Five minutes.

"Me?" Paul asked hopefully, turning his sea green eyes onto her own hazel-brown.

Shifting from her comfortable position, she slowly crawled to Paul, tracing her finger along his arm, she bit her lip. "Why don't you slip into something.. more comfortable?" She asked in a husky voice.

Paul's eyes brows were raised, shock evident on his features but quickly regained his cool composition.

Meraz always won.

Bella stood up, heading toward the door, Paul followed her like a puppy. Turning sharply, she looked up at him.

"You do know I meant a coma, right?"

And that, my friends, is how little itty bitty human Bella, knocked a wolf out cold.