Disclaimer: If I owned Sanctuary, the world would be a brighter, more sun-filled place.

Helen gently wiped John's head as he shivered with fever in the infirmary . As she looked down at his face, she thought of all the things that had led them to this place.

The journey that had led the Five to the source blood.

The pain of the murders and the breaking of great friendships.

The years alone, grieving the love she had lost.

The joy of Ashley's birth and relief of her loneliness.

The horror as John re-entered their life.

The all-consuming despair of their daughter's death.

The apathy as John systematically tracked and slaughtered those who took her from them.

The realization that John truly had no say in his murderous actions and the spark of hope that sprang into flame inside her soul.

The sadness as she once again lost him to the madness in his mind.

And now the unexplainable joy and the heart-wrenching sorrow as she found him, alive but slowly slipping away.

"We've lost so much time." She whispered as he tossed fitfully. "So much time we could've been happy."

She gently took his hand in hers, holding it to her cheek, and he stilled.

"I tried so hard to hate you for so long." She told her, tears falling on to his hand. "But I never quite managed it. Under my hate, I could never seem to get past the despair I felt at losing you. In my mind, you were always the brilliant young man I worked beside, the man I fell in love with at Oxford."

She sighed and gently stroked his cheek.

"You know, I haven't slept as well in years as I did last night in your arms." She said softly.

She took a deep breath and stood up, wiping the tears from her face, before leaning down and gently kissed his forehead.

"I love you, John." She said softly. "Please don't leave. Not again. I can't bear to lose you again."

She looked at him for a moment longer before turning and walking out

As he heard the door close, John opened his eyes slightly. He took a deep breath, held it, and let it go.

Now he had a reason to fight.

To live.

A/N: My first attempt at a Sanctuary fic. I love Helen/John! Let me know what you think.