Stan and the Aftermath
I don't own South Park. Matt, Trey, and Comedy Central do.
Wendy walks up to Stan on the playground and says "it's sure been a while since we went to Casa Bonita."
Stan points out "a lot has happened since then. You got me treated for hording, Mysterion was exposed as Kenny, and we found out the counselor was molested by an evil beast called Woodsy Owl."
Wendy says "oh yes and we found out the Coon was really Eric Cartman."
Stan adds "like it wasn't obvious I mean did they really think it was Bruce Vilanch?"
Kyle jumps in "you resigned as class president and let the fatass take over. Oh how he cried."
Stan, Wendy, and Kyle all fall down laughing.
Wendy says "Stan I think we need another trip to Casa Bonita."
Stan says "the economy is still shitty so the answer is no. But maybe you can come over to my house."
Stan's eyes light up and he begins flirting.
Wendy states clearly "I want to do things to you that you will NEVER forget."
Stan asks "like what?"
She answers "I want to taste your manhood."
Stan's heart beats fast and he gets butterflies in his stomach.
Wendy then says "I want to feel you up big time baby."
Stan starts drooling and Wendy gives him a good hard swat on his ass.
Stan yells "YIKES" and when Kenny comes over to giggle Stan turns around and pukes on him.
"Oh gross Stan" Kenny commented.
AT 3:15PM STAN AND WENDY MET UP OUTSIDE THE FRONT OF SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
Kyle yells "wait up."
Kenny is running behind Kyle but he slips and slides out into the road where he's run over by Harley riders.
Stan yells "OH MY GOD THE HARLEY RIDING FAGGOTS KILLED KENNY!"
Kyle yells "YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARDS!"
Craig runs up and says "my parents are out of town and won't be back tomorrow. Red Racers been cancelled so can I come over?"
Stan not only says yes but goes on to say he's sorry he didn't invite Craig to do stuff with him very much in the past.
When they get to Stan's house they start talking about what to do next. They decide that they will go give Cartman a major ass whooping.
As they all walk to Cartman's house Craig says "we could get time in juvenile hall for this."
Kyle replied "we'll just rough him up a bit."
Craig giggles and Stan knocks on Cartman's door.
When Cartman opens his door he is irritated to see Wendy beside Stan.
He asks "well let's see here I get the feeling you all came to kick my ass."
Wendy said she'd love to but at this moment she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Craig said he'd love to after last year during the sumo wrestling when he was knocked out.
Cartman said his mom was having sex upstairs and she wouldn't notice.
Kyle said "STOP, okay look I got to tell you I think it was awesome after you thanked me sincerely for stopping that beast from New Jersey from raping you I'll spare you an ass whooping."
Craig states "I can tell you have so much pain in your heart maybe we shouldn't kick your ass."
Kyle was amazed and said "wow Craig that's deep."
Stan says "well we're heading back to my house but you can stay home with your whoring mother in this whore house."
Cartman nods with a smile.
They head back to Stan's house and Wendy says to Stan "let's go to your room Stan while these two watch Terrance and Phillip."
Craig commented "first a spanking at recess and now she's sending him to his room."
Kyle replied "kinky"
Stan just laughed and said "you guys."
Wendy said "this bad boy is going to get it let me tell you."
They take off for Stan's room and Craig simulates masturbation leaving Kyle giggling.
When Kyle and Craig turn on T/P they are soon interrupted by Randy Marsh who complains that he busted open a can of shaving cream. Craig laughed at Randy who was covered in shaving cream and Kyle just rolled his eyes.
Randy left the living room and yelled "SHARON."
"Craig it's hard to believe Stan is related to that fool."
Craig nodded to Kyle.
The two boys focus on the television.
Terrance asks Phillip "hey there's an old lady over there do you think we should go fart on her?"
Craig and Kyle laugh when their two favorite cartoon characters start farting on the old lady.
The old lady knocks out Terrance and farts on Phillip and the two boys' fall of the couch laughing.
Randy commented "that Terrance and Phillip is something else and where is Stan?"
Craig answers quickly "he went to the Dollar General Store to get soda."
Randy says "oh" and goes into the kitchen.
Kyle looks at Craig seriously and says "I can't believe you just lied to cover for Stan."
Craig says "shh"
Then they hear Stan moaning in his room.
Kyle is totally shocked.
Craig says "she must be giving him that hand job she promised."
All of a sudden the doorbell rings and Kyle says "I hope Kenny is back."
Craig opens the door and sees his least favorite person Counselor Mackey.
"Craig I need to talk to you, Stan, Wendy, and Kyle umkay."
Mister Mackey enters and asks where Wendy and Stan are.
Stan and Wendy immerge from Stan's room and both of them look very happy.
"Umkay Cartman called me and said you four went to his house and threatened to beat him up and that's not right umkay."
Wendy says "we just went over there to scare him."
Mister Mackey says "umkay well was it really necessary?"
Stan nods and says "Cartman needs to be kept in line."
Mister Mackey then says "well now grownups are supposed to be the ones to discipline children and children shouldn't discipline other children umkay."
Craig laughs and says "Wendy gave Stan a spanking."
Mister Mackey immediately responds "um that is not appropriate behavior umkay. Children are not supposed to spank other children. It's up to grownups to set the example and provide the discipline when needed umkay."
Randy walks in with a bottle of beer and says "oh I'm up to my third bottle of beer now."
Stan hits his forehead and says "no."
"Oh hi Mister Marsh I was just telling the children it's not okay for children to discipline other children. I was also telling them that adults are supposed to be the ones to discipline children and set the example. Furthermore drinking beer in front of children is bad umkay."
Randy says "oh well I'll just go drink this beer in the kitchen umkay."
The children start laughing because Randy made fun of the school counselor and the counselor screamed "MISTER MARSH IT'S VERY RUDE TO MIMIC SOMEBODY!"
Randy said he'd go in the kitchen and he did.
Craig commented "well Mister Mackey you seem pretty uptight. Is there anything you want to talk about?"
Mister Mackey goes on to say "well Craig I've totally forgiven Stan for shitting in the urinal umkay."
Stan says "thank you Mister Mackey."
Craig asks "What about the time you were 10 and Woodsy Owl molested you?"
Mister Mackey gave Stan a dirty look.
Stan denied telling Craig anything about that. Craig said to Mister Mackey that he overheard him telling Principal Victoria about it.
Mister Mackey said "I think I need a beer."
Craig flips him off. Mister Mackey naturally got angry and said "don't flip me off."
Craig told Mister Mackey he deserved to be flipped off for being hypocritical and Mister Mackey went off big time.
"HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOME CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER IN AN OWL COSTUME TOUCHED YOUR DICK? WOULD THAT MAKE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?"
Craig jumped back six inches and said "DUDE!"
Mister Mackey ran out of the house crying.
Kyle commented "shit Craig he's going to come down on you harder than ever now."
Wendy grabbed Stan and said "I want to molest you some more baby."
She dragged him back into his room and slammed the door. After the door slammed Sharon was heard screaming "RANDY YOU GOT STUCK IN THE DISHWASHER AGAIN BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING DRUNK!"
Kyle and Craig laugh and 15 minutes later Wendy and Stan come out of Stan's room. Wendy has white liquid around her mouth and Stan asked what the yelling was about.
Kyle answered "your stupid dad got stuck in the dishwasher because he was drunk."
Stan yelled "AGAIN?"
Then Stan said "shit."
They all sat down and watched Terrance and Phillip reruns for an hour. Craig said he had to go and Kyle also said he had to go. When Kyle got up Randy ran into the living room and puked all over him.
Stan yelled "Goddamn it dad!"
Kyle was fucking pissed off and he ran home to clean up. Wendy and Stan spent a few minutes kissing before she went home.