*bounces uber excitedly* 103 reviews! I am so dang happy. Thank you ViolonRouge!
This chapter is dedicated to every single one of you that reviewed this story. Yes, that's you, reading this, whom I have listed in the last A/N! Except if you're one of those lurker people. *frowns* I have story stats, y'know.
Enjoy, one last time!
96. Trouble Lurking
"Honestly, Will," Halt said exasperatedly, "I thought you'd stopped stealing those pies!"
For some reason, Will frowned. "Do you know how hard that was?"
"I had to hang by the window for forever, with a burning hot pie in one hand!" The other man's indignant tone demanded recognition for the obviously intense task.
Halt just shook his head. It seemed that even in his twenties and married, there was still some mischief left in Will.
Horace was always hungry, and that was something that Cassandra could put up with. After all, when he married the princess the knight received full access to the castle kitchens, there was nothing more the often ravenous man could ask. Except when the castle cook decided that Horace was getting fat.
"I am not fat!" Horace had protested indignantly, but Martha had threatened him with her spatula more than once. Chubb and Jenny carried a ladle, but Chef Martha's spatula was feared for other reasons.
"OW!" Horace complained as the said weapon connected with his bottom once more. "What?"
"I saw you looking at my pie, boy."
And so Horace was put on a strict diet, one that he swore nearly killed him with starvation. He was not fat, and Martha just couldn't keep up with a growing man's appetite.
Of course, despite their sympathies, Horace's hungry predicament was quite hilarious to everyone else.
"Halt, dear," Pauline called from her position in front of the mirror to her husband lying on the bed. "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Halt opened an eye to look. He attempted a shrug. "It's just the mirror." He started to close his eye again, but Pauline's sudden furious glare caused him to open both eyes instead. "What?"
"Did you just call me fat?" his wife all but screamed at him, her diplomatic poise lost in the offense.
"No, no," Halt said hastily. "The mirror just makes it seem that way!"
With an indignant snort, his wife strode from their room.
"Wait, Pauline!" Halt protested, struggling to get up. "What did I say?"
"You can sleep on the couch tonight!" was all that he heard before the front door slammed shut.
99. Breathe Again
"Alright, Halt." Gilan walked into the cabin with a bucket of water. "Let's play 'What if?'" Before Halt could even raise an eyebrow, Gilan continued, "There's a dragon in front of you and with every breath it lets out fire flares from his nose. Like this!" Gilan splashed the unprepared Ranger in front of him with the water, probably enjoying his insanity too much.
"Gilan!" Halt managed to splutter and roar at the same time, but the boy pressed on despite this interesting combination.
"Quick, what would do next?"
Halt glared murderously, taking a step forward. "I'd tell the 'dragon' that if it ever wanted to breathe again, it had better run."
Gilan, smart kid that he was, fled.
"So, Halt," Will asked, "did I manage to annoy you as much as Gilan did?" The recently-graduated Ranger looked at his friend and they both smirked. They, along with Halt, sat on the front steps of the cabin well into the evening.
"You both weren't that annoying," Halt said, but the Gilan and Will just scoffed.
"Yeah, and all those gray hairs are proof of that," Gilan pointed out in teasing sarcasm.
Will leaned forward to inspect Halt's head. "The ones near the front look newer. Those are mine."
"Fine, but I take credit for his beard," Gilan countered, then both friends burst into laughter at the glaring older Ranger's expense.
Gilan edged away as Will said, "See, we still annoy you, Halt." Then he sprang up to follow the other offender around the cabin.
Halt, of course, would not be out done. He too bounced to his feet and sped after his irksome former apprentices, and the three well-respected Rangers played a friendly game of "He Catches You, You're Dead" under the setting sun.
And there you have it. Numero 100.
Well, it's been fun. I can't believe I finished it. As this was the first fic I posted, it's pretty special to me. A humongously ginormous THANK YOU to all of my amazing and overly awesome reviewers, which I shall take the time to list here because I love you all. Skip this if you don't really care about reading some cool usernames:
Raider1427, Minimish.99, TomeMAster99, AliRanger51, justagirlwithdeas, Dragonslove3, ME, spookisapuppy, linguisticsrock, DarknessEternal, Amy The Valiant, RoMythe, Lady Maeror, Frogata, Ranger Maestro, TasteTheRainbow-xD, Luvergirlof books, Wolfiwill, wolfeclipse, bookbelle.314, story-teller666, some weird guy, BlackPanther101, xbamsod,
And my epic 100th reviewer: ViolonRouge, thank you, and I enjoyed reading your funny reviews as much as you did this story :)!
Review, all of you, one last time please!