Summary: It'd been four months since Sam remember waking up in the cemetery where he had willingly jumped into the pit taking Michael and Lucifer with him…and even longer since he'd seen his light.

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Supernatural' in any way, shape, or form and am not getting paid for this story, unless you count the reviews and comments that I hope you'll post. Hope you enjoy!

When You Wake

By: Last Winter Rose

Chapter One: Memories

It'd been four months since Sam remember waking up in the cemetery where he had willingly jumped into the pit taking Michael and Lucifer with him. Almost three months since he finally tracked down Dean and Castiel, he was surprised to learn that they were still together. They had all been surprise even more when Castiel reported back from above that no one knew who had pulled Sam out. Fearing to draw on the subject too much they put it behind them, going back to doing what the brothers did best, hunting things that went bump in the night. Only now they had Castiel with them, which wasn't a bad thing, unless you count them having to get two rooms whenever they stop. Dean was happy though so Sam didn't complain about it, he had worried that once the war was over Castiel would returned to Heaven leaving Dean with no one but the angel had choosing to stay with the elder Winchester.

He was happy for his brother, thinking that after everything they've been through they deserve some joy in their lives but as he sat one night in his own motel room watching television his mind started to wander to an angel that he had once held and called his own. After Jess was killed and he was pulled back into the hunt Sam thought for sure that he would never have any kind of love again and then the whole mess with Ruby playing him didn't help matters. He had all but giving up hope but then Gabriel flew into his life. Sure the first few times they ran into the trickster Sam had wanted to run a wooden skate through him but after Gabriel told them who he really was and became part of 'Team Free Will' those feeling faded into something else.

Sam had been reluctant to say anything fearing what the Archangel might say or even how Dean would had reacted, the fact that his baby brother had falling for a guy and an Archangel at that. Though a few days after Sam had decided on what the feelings were that he having, he found that there had been something going on between Dean and Castiel for sometime and that Dean was afraid of what Sam would think so they kept it hiding. Then the bigger shock came when Gabriel came to him with a confessing to make right before making the first move on Sam. It had took a while for Dean to get used to it for some reason, where Castiel acted as if he knew it was going to happen.

It was the four of them taking on everyone else and although they were in the middle of a war between Heaven and Hell Sam couldn't had been happier. He had his brother who was happy and he had his Gabriel, his love, his shining light scaring away the darkness that surrounded him his whole life. The only problem was that he wasn't sure what he had done to deserved it, between the demon blood, rising Lucifer and then finding out that he was Lucifer's vessel, he believed that he had found the reason why everyone he had care ever for always die. The reason was that he was no good.

Gabriel had changed his mind on that thought but then tragedy struck taking Gabriel's light throwing Sam back into the darkness. Dean and Castiel did what they could to keep him moving on but it just wasn't enough.

It was really the turning point to Sam, they were running out of ideas to stop Lucifer and now it was clear to him that he wasn't meant to have love and happiness in his life so what was the point in living. If he could stop the Apocalypse by giving his life…why not?

He had been happy that he was back from Hell but upon seeing Dean and Castiel together all those feelings came rushing back and he was almost wishing to be dead again.

Another surprise happened to Sam about a week after that night of thinking of the past, the three of them were on a hunt for a vampires nest. He had been knocked out half way through the fight but came to to a light shining in his eyes. There knelling over an unconscious Dean healing a cut on his forehead was a figure that he knew all too well. At first he thought he was back in Hell, killed by one of the vampires, a game someone was playing on him and he didn't want to move fearing that the man would vanish before his eyes.

Gabriel turned to him stopping realizing that Sam had woken, their eyes were locked and if it wasn't for the blood dipping into his line of vision Sam would never had blink. When he open his eyes again, as he feared Gabriel was gone.

All of that had been a month ago and there were still no signs of the Archangel. He hadn't checked on Sam, hadn't say anything to him, for a while Sam was sure that he had seen him but soon he started telling himself that it was nothing but a dream. Castiel had search around but couldn't find the elder angel anywhere and none of the other angels knew anything. Both his brother and the angel did their best trying to cheer him up but just seeing them together was causing Sam more pain and bought up bad memories.

Now here he sat in another motel room, they were on their way to Bobby's place but got caught in a rain storm, Dean pulled into the first motel that he saw. He offered to only get one room, promising that Castiel and him would keep things rated G, but Sam turned him down and got his own room. He knew Dean was just worry about him and didn't want him to be alone at the moment, however Sam kind of felt guilty, Dean and Castiel had been so busy trying to cheer him up that they really haven't had time to themselves.

He gave a sigh as lightening flashed outside, casting light and shadows through the room. The rain started getting heavier and from the tree outside his window he could tell that the wind was picking up as well. He grab the remote from his bed and started flipping through the channels looking for one that was coming through clear enough to watch anything. He finally settle on the news to see just long this storm was going to last.

"Well folks get ready for a wet weekend as this storm seems to be settling here for a while but comes Monday we'll see the winds from the East coming in blowing this out to…"

The rest of the weatherman report was lost to Sam headed for the restroom to get ready for bed. There was no dealt that they were be staying here for a day or two, they weren't on a hunt at the moment and Bobby had told them to take their time getting back.

He just finished brushing his teeth, taking his shoes off he was getting ready a shower when static sounded from the front room. "Stupid storm," Sam said moving to look for another channel.

He flipped through the channels but there was nothing but black and white snow on all of them, he went through the ten channels three times before throwing the remote on the bed, with a sigh of frustration he turned back for the restroom.

Sam froze as the television cleared a theme song that he knew by heart coming through, he slowly looked back, a feeling like a hand closing around his heart. He knew he was being silly but as he saw the title 'Knight Rider' flash across the screen he couldn't stop the memories of the time Gabriel had made him part of the Impala come to his mind. At the time Sam had wanted to kill the being for making him and his brother go through the TV land but now he gave a chuckle at the thought. 'Knight Rider' had been one of the many shows that Dean and him were watch when they were stuck at a motel and John was out hunting. He always thought K.I.T.T. was one of the coolest car though he never told Dean that, he were never hear the end of it on how the Impala was so much better.

He slowly moved back to the bed hitting the mute button but didn't turn it off. More lightening flashed followed by a rolled of thunder, a gust of wind came up blowing the window open. Sam crossed the room to it but once there he stopped hand on the glass panel. He stood there letting the rain come in, he was getting soak his bare feet freezing from the puddle forming on the floor but he didn't care. Gabriel had loved the rain, his element being water but now it was the only thing that Sam still had that was in a way close to the Archangel. He leaned forward closing his eyes taking in the smell of the rain, it was the sense that he once connected to Gabriel. The smell of a misty forest; wet wood, grass, and dirt mixed with the sweetness of different candies that the trickster had come to love while living on Earth.

Sam's thought were focus so much on Gabriel that he didn't turn at the familiar sound of feather ruffling together or the smell of something sweet blowing on the wind, fearing that he finally reached the breaking point and was going crazy. He tried blocking it from his mind but when a weight pressed up against his back and warm arms wrapped around his waist, he couldn't ignore it.

"If you stand here too long you'll caught a cold for sure Sammy boy."