Yo! I'm actually doing a long-term funny fic, inspired by the fic "Dgray-Man Facebook" by someone (name escapes me). So, though it is not original, I hope to convey it in an original fashion. Since this is supposed to be funny, it will be posted for irregularly, just for your information. It will go by the sequence of the original D. Gray-Man story... Yeah, it'll make since later. So! Let us commence forthwith with Chapter 1 of 'The Destroyer of Facebook'!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man is the property of Katsura Hoshino and Funimation. This series is a parody and nothing more, so please support the official release. Got it? Damn well better.


1. Getting to the Black Order

Cross Marian created the group Fuck You Black Order I'm Going to Asia.

Allen Walker So, my master finally left me on my own to find this place called the 'Black Order'. Hopefully all will go well. ^.^;

Timcanpy likes this.

Allen Walker: Wait, how did you do that? You're a golem, not a person!

Timcanpy: -smile-

Moa joined the group I Do Not Believe in Superstitions.

Charles: Moa, aren't we supposed to go in that church tonight? How can you not believe it's haunted?

Moa: Oh, grow a pair already and let's go. This ought to be fun. Another raise for me!

Charles joined the group Next Time, I'm Not Listening to Women.

Timcanpy joined the group I Really, REALLY Hate Cats.

Moa So, uh, Charles died by this thing known as an Akuma. Wonderful.

Allen Walker: Oh, that's not good. At least you made it... ^^;

Allen Walker Got arrested. Accused of murder. At least it's not my master's debts, so it could be worse.

Moa: Kid, you've got problems.

Moa joined the group I Believe in Superstitions.

Moa My brother went all psycho. Ho-lee-shit. And now the police force is all dead, so I'm the only one left in my jurisdiction. This was NOT the raise I wanted! -sad face-

Allen Walker: I'm really sorry...

Moa: I'll be fine. Thank you for saving my life, though.

Allen Walker and Moa became friends.

Timcanpy likes this.

Allen Walker: Seriously, how do you do that?

Timcanpy: -smile-



Allen Walker Got lost again, but I got a ride with a carnival to my next destination.

Timcanpy likes this.

Allen Walker: One of these days, Tim, I'll figure out this mystery.

John joined the group I'mma Freakin' Awesome Inventor.

Leo likes this.

John This dude who was an Akuma literally jumped out and attacked me, but no one believed me except this one dude who completely wiped the floor with him! 8D I thanked him in my own way.

Leo likes this.

Leo: I'm glad you are all right.

Allen Walker: You hit me with a tear bomb! How was that a thank you?

John: :/ The things inventors hafta do to get praised. Sheesh.

Allen Walker: You expect me to PRAISE you?

Leo and The Millennium Earl -heart- became friends.

John: Uh, Leo? What?

Leo: :) Wanna go Akuma hunting in the graveyard later?

John: Uh, sure?

Leo joined the group I Am An Akuma.

John: WHAT

Allen Walker: O_O

The Millennium Earl -heart-: -grins-

Allen Walker: Get off of Facebook, you imbecile!

The Millennium Earl -heart-: I'll do whatever I want, kthnx.

John: I'll beat you with my tear bomb!

The Millennium Earl -heart-: Bring it, kid. D

Allen Walker: John, you can't beat him. Let me handle this.

John: But Leo is my bestest bud! This has to be a lie!

Leo: I've sworn my allegiance to the Earl.

The Millennium Earl -heart-: Surprise, bitches.


John Just lost my best friend... I don't know if I can go on... I'm going to make him a grave...

Allen Walker: I'm terribly sorry, John... Wish I could help, but I have to leave soon...

John: It's all right... Have fun destroying Akuma...

Allen Walker and John became friends.

Timcanpy likes this.

Allen Walker: That's getting old fast, Tim.


Allen Walker became a fan of Elevators.

Allen Walker I. HATE. CLIMBING. CLIFFS. But, aside from that, I made it to the Black Order, finally! Go me! :D

Lenalee Lee, Komui Lee and 3 others like this.

Lenalee Lee: Sorry about Kanda's behavior before. We couldn't tell if you were an Akuma or not...

Kanda Y.: The bean sprout deserved it.

Allen Walker: You're some kind of a jerk, aren't you?

Kanda Y.: And you are some sort of a short, cursed moron, aren't you?

Lenalee: Guys!

Allen Walker joined the group The Black Order.

Komui Lee, Lenalee Lee and 25 others like this.

Kanda Y.: I bet he doesn't even last a month.

Lenalee Lee: Kanda!

Kanda Y. created the group I Don't Like Lenalee's Clipboard.


Well, there's the first part for you! So! Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor! It is very greatly appreciated! See you in Chapter Two~! —Mr. Ree