Hello! This is an idea that just kind of popped into my head, a little Lily/Sirius thing from her point of view. Don't want to give too much away, but I'd really appreciate your feedback letting me know what you thought! This is the first chapter, and I don't expect it'll end up being more than two or three at the most, and I want to get the next parts up asap :) Thanks and I hope you enjoy it!

Donna xx


Chapter One

If I'm quite honest, before around halfway through fifth year, I never looked at him twice. In retrospect, I guess I like to tell myself that it was because of the slight arrogance he carried, the childish pranks, the insufferable intelligence that he didn't even need to work for... But truth be told, it was his haircut. Something so simple, so shallow, but no way can I deny that that had an effect.

Being teenage girls, Alice and I of course scanned the Great Hall at the beginning of every new year to pick out any newly emerged lookers, but our eyes always skipped straight over Sirius Black, with his then shoulder-length hair, and the rest of his friends in favour of the seemingly perfect older - and off limits - boys.

And the beginning of fifth year wasn't any different, as we were shepherded off the carriages and into the hall, chattering away after being apart for the past few weeks.

"No new talent this year, I see." Alice sighed as she threw herself down on one of the benches, "I was hoping they'd all get gorgeous over the summer."

"I still say Jack Stewart is god's gift to women everywhere..." I remember saying wishfully, looking over my shoulder very un-subtly at the tall seventh year Ravenclaw, surrounded as always by swarms of girls.

"In our year!" Alice said, "We need to be realistic, here, Lil! Jack's a player, even if he is hot, and as thick as two short planks from what I've heard."

"Alright," I agreed, "I know. What about... erm..." But, looking up and down the Gryffindor table and regarding my fellow fifth-years, there was still no-one promising. "Remus Lupin?"

"Nah," Alice waved her hand, "Too... Y'know." And she finished there, while my best friend instinct knew exactly what she meant. "Frank Longbottom, mind..."

"Really?" I made a face, "He looks exactly the same as last year to me, and the year before, and the year before that!"

"I don't know, I think he's grown up." Alice pondered, looking him up and down subtly as he sat down along the table, "One to consider, maybe."

"Well, you'll not have any competition from me!" I assured her with a grin as Dumbledore stood up to begin his speech, "Looks like another year of 'focusing on my studies', if I'm quite honest."

And, for the first few months of the year at least, I was true to my word, paying little to no attention to the idiotic young wizards in our year - unlike Alice, who had laid claim to Frank Longbottom, even if he didn't know it yet. Looking back, I'm amazed at the fact that I ever lived a life without him in it, was ever capable of concentrating on other things, blissfully unaware of what was to come. It wasn't even as though I didn't know him, it was never a case of him changing my life as soon as we met.

No, the way Sirius changed my life was always much more gradual than that. I suppose, if you trace it back to it roots, the day it began would be the day I decided to join the duelling club after hearing the announcement at breakfast. Alice firmly refused to come along, knowing that Frank wasn't and hoping she'd be able to corner him in the common room one of those nights, and so I went alone to the first meeting, feeling just a bit nervous.

And he was there, even if I didn't notice him, chatting away with his friends and seeming not to listen in the slightest to what Professor Trent was saying. I was fascinated by the concept of duelling even then, and performed relatively well for the first few weeks, still getting my bearings, until...

"Alright class, today we're going to try a slightly different exercise, which should hopefully alter the way you approach a duel in the future. With a partner, I want you to prepare a demonstration," Madame told us, "Perhaps five minutes at the most, of an equally matched duel. And I want every single move choreographed here, no improvisation. You need to be so prepared in a duel that you can predict precisely what your enemy is thinking; what spell they will perform next; what you can do to counteract it, and this task is designed to help you stay alert. Think of it as a performance, and I want to see everyone's work in around," She checked her watch, "Twenty-five minutes. Pair up!"

This seemed exciting to me, I remember; ideas were already flying around my head for the complex sequences I could work out as I searched around me for a partner, planning on approaching one of the other girls before Madame Trent called out.

"No, Black, I'm not having you and Potter paired up again, lord only knows what you'll do to each other. Potter, you can work with Mr. - stop pouting, boy! - with Mr. Lupin, and Black, you can go..." She scanned the group, her eye landing on me, "...With Miss Evans over there."

He trudged over, shooting a comical face at the Professor's back, and I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Hey." He threw himself down on the floor, and I, a little startled, sat down delicately beside him, "You're Evans, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah." I said politely, "Lily."

"Good to meet you, Evans." he said pointedly, with a little smirk which instantly annoyed me, and didn't bother introducing himself.

"So, um, Sirius," I said, "What do you think we could do for our demo? I thought it would be good if we-"

He shrugged, "Who knows? We'll be fine, she's not expecting much. You've seen the standard of some of the kids in here." I blinked, a little surprised by his attitude, "You're the one that floored Perkins last week with that Impedimenta jinx, right?"

"Um, yeah. But-"

"It was quite impressive," He carried on as though I hadn't spoken, running a lazy hand through his long hair, "We'll be fine."

"Thanks." I said, unsure whether or not he was complimenting me but aware nonetheless that we needed to get on - other pairings had already started 'rehearsing', as it were, "But she said we need to plan out the whole thing, so if we start by-"

"Do you have Herbology on a Thursday, period four?" He once again cut me off, but the fact that he was taking an interest in me meant I couldn't decide whether or not he was being rude. Mentally picturing my schedule, I nodded.

"Thought so. I've seen you on my way back up from Care of Magical Creatures."

"Oh, right then." I was still a little confused at his complete avoidance of the task at hand, "Are you enjoying it? I dropped Magical Creatures at the end of last year; Professor Wilson always seemed a bit useless."

"Oh, he is." He told me casually, nodding, "But it's alright, really. Pretty easy stuff even if he doesn't know what he's talking about. Most of them kind of speak for themselves, to be honest. Particularly the Direpeux."

I laughed, remembering the small creatures from the year before: small, monkey-like in appearance, and perfectly able to imitate human speech, but three times faster.

And after that, we didn't stop talking, chatting away about our different lessons and teachers, ourselves, everything except the task at hand. We weren't particularly interested in what the other had to say, I don't think, but we were perfectly civil. Aware of the time, I kept broaching the topic of beginning to work out our duel, but we never got round to it, and before I knew it Trent's voice was calling out "Thirty seconds, people!" while I realized that we hadn't choreographed a single move. I froze.

"Oh, crap! We haven't got anything!"

But Sirius looked calm, and gave another one of his careless, nonchalant shrugs, "S'alright. We'll just wing it, start with a Stupefy and we'll go from there."

I felt a bit sick as we watched two other groups demonstrate, for although they weren't perfect, it was clear they'd rehearsed it thoroughly, and other than a small gash on Andrew Stevenson's ear when he ducked too late to avoid a hex, both presentations went smoothly.

"Alright, we'll have..." Madame Trent surveyed us and Stevenson and his partner sat down, "Miss Evans and Mr. Black, let's see what you came up with."

Practically shaking, I remember walking up to the makeshift 'stage' area, feeling deadly nervous in contrast to Sirius' effortlessly cool demeanor. Ok, I told myself, this won't be too bad, just try and take it slowly, and-

"Stupefy!" Before I knew it, he had begun; swiftly cutting off my train of thought as I instinctively cast a shield charm to block him. He looked a little surprised that I'd reacted so quickly, and I took advantage of his moment of being unfocussed, shooting one of my famous Impediment jinxes - but he was too quick, and efficiently dodged whilst firing several more spells in my direction.

Soon, I was so caught up in staying focussed and fast that I completely forgot we hadn't choreographed a single spell, the two of effortlessly improvising until, before I knew it, Madame Trent had blown her whistle.

"Okay, you two, fantastic work!" She congratulated, with a rare, genuine smile. "You worked together very well - can I just ask, how did you go about choosing the order of the spells and which defenses to use for each of them, when you were planning?"

Still out of breath from being so alert and active, I froze once again, unsure how to respond to that given that we hadn't in fact done any planning, but Sirius was quite the opposite. Unlike me, he looked totally unruffled and if anything, a little bored, as he reeled off an answer that sounded like it came directly from a textbook about why exactly we had supposedly planned it as we did.

Looking back now, the whole situation was just so Sirius, but at the time I think I barely even registered him. We parted after that session with a "Catch you later" and it was the same over the next few months - sometimes we were in a group together, sometimes we weren't, I honestly paid no attention. God, I sometimes wish now more than anything that I could go back to then, when everything was so simple. That I could have relished every moment I spent with him, as opposed to the utter nonchalance... How stupid fifteen-year-old Lily Evans was.

In fact, thinking back, I'm pretty sure that my dominant feeling towards him was annoyance - it didn't bother me a lot, but something about his cockiness and sureness of himself really got under my skin when I was with him, mainly because deep down I knew that it was justified, considering how truly good he was.

In those days, lessons within each house were split into two halves, and he was in the other, meaning I had no lessons with him apart from Duelling club on a Thursday evening. Through the week, I would never dwell on him, it never occurred to me to think of him - and god knows, it was a simpler time.

And so, my fifth year at Hogwarts rolled on by relatively quickly, with my prefect duties, endless amounts of homework and helping Alice with her schemes to get Frank meaning I was almost always occupied. I realize, thinking on it, that that was the last year of my life in which Sirius Black wasn't always at the forefront of my mind.

By the time exam season arrived, tensions were building, with stories spreading like wildfire about various mental breakdowns, who was expected to fail what, how difficult everyone was finding their revision, and there wasn't a single person in the fifth year who wasn't unbelievably stressed. Sirius and I had been grating on each other in Duelling club the previous week, with both of us screwing up various aspects and blaming each other. And so, when the incident occurred after our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL paper, we were already at our wits' end.

That Thursday was, ironically, a beautiful day, which was why me and Alice and a few other girls had gone down to the lake after sitting in the stuffy exam hall. We were idly discussing nothing of importance, thrilled that we only had a few exams left, and I was only vaguely aware of the several other students in the grassy area until the call of "All right, Snivellus?" made everyone stop and turn.

It was that James Potter who had called out, and I felt a surge of irritation as I remembered him taking Sirius's side during our mini-argument the previous week in duelling - unsurprising, given that I had never said two words to him, and he was Sirius' best friend.

Anyway, for some reason, even though I wasn't in any way loyal to Snape by that point, it drove me crazy that they were tormenting him, forcing me to my absolute wits' end. What did take me by surprise was James' reaction of "I will if you go out with me, Evans!" following my stream of insults that had come from nowhere, so I remember simply responding as venomously as I could and getting the hell out of there.

I even, as I stalked past Sirius, muttered a furious "What are you looking at?", taking him by surprise, I think, as he hadn't in fact said anything directly to insult me, and hadn't even been looking in my direction - from nowhere, I'd just had the urge to include him. Funny, that.

Later that night, as eight o'clock rolled around, I was a little nervous about going to duelling club, and ashamed of flipping my lid earlier - but when I got there, it turned out I needn't have worried. Once again, Trent paired me with Sirius, and as always we didn't prepare in the least for our demonstration but spent the allotted thirty minutes talking in a corner.

"Look, Sirius, I-"

"I'm sorry, Evans." He cut me off before I'd even begun, and took the words right out of my mouth.

I blinked, "You are? I don't know why, I was just about to apologise for yelling at you earlier."

"Nah, it's ok. We were being dicks; it's kind of just the way we are." At least he'll admit it, I thought as he gave an accepting shrug, "But I really think it's pointless for us to act like we hate each other."

"You're right," I agreed, "There's no point in vowing to be enemies, it's too much effort." He smirked as I continued: "But for the record, yeah. You were being dicks. You are quite a lot of the time, to be honest."

"Agreed," he said, "And given that you said that, I've got no qualms in telling you you seem like a bit of an uppity cow sometimes."

I could barely contain a snort, "Thanks, Sirius." Like I'd said, on principle I wanted to hate him, but in reality it would just be too much effort. "So, we've both been honest, both admitted that we've hacked each other off in the past... Can we just be friends?"

"Yeah." He said, still smirking, "Yeah, I'd like that. After the exams are over, though; I don't think I can stand to be in your presence while you're still in OWL freakout mode."

I laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Fine! It's not like I want to be around your cocky, over-confidence mode either."

"Fair play, "He said, "Except I probably won't turn that off after the OWLs, if I'm honest."

"I don't think you've ever turned that off in your life, let alone..."

And thus, our banter began, as we (as always) utterly ignored Professor Trent's instructions to plan our work, as we delivered our standard knockout, totally improvised demonstration. And, surprisingly, we didn't wait until after the exams were over - from that point on, Sirius Black and I were friends.

By the beginning of the next term, we would become great friends.

And by the end of our sixth year, Sirius Black would come to be more to me than any friend ever had before. And that, I think, was the problem.