AN: Just a little something to clear my head!
*I'm getting nothing for christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad
I'm getting nothing for christmas
Cause I ain't been nothing but bad..*
"Oh good lord." Sheldon muttered. "ANOTHER christmas carol?"
"Oh come on!" Penny chided, hanging another ornament on the tree. "This song was practically my ANTHEM when I was a kid. Stupid little snitches." She said darkly in remembrance.
"I don't think Sheldon was ever bad." Leonard giggled slightly.
Sheldon swung around on his chair to face them. "Thats not true!"
He was certain it wasn't. He must have been bad sometime. While it's true that he had very little time to devote to it, having been far more interested in his studies..
"I broke into the school library once." He declared.
"Oooh." Penny raised her eyebrows mockingly. "What for?"
"A book." Sheldon looked at her quizzically. "What else would one break into a library for?"
"Not quite the type of bad we're talking about Sheldon." Leonard sighed. "Props for the illegality of it though."
Sheldon inclined his head in acknowledgement of the props before pursing his lips in thought.
There must be something else.
Pulled anyones hair? No. But..
He HAD stolen a piece of hair. "I stole something." He said promptly.
Penny stared at him. "A book?"
"No, in fact it was a lock of hair."
"Why would you steal hair?" Leonard quizzed.
"To examine the DNA of course."
Penny was staring at him, with a look on her face, almost like she knew.
"What did you want to do that for?" Leonard replied, blissfully unaware of the look on Penny's face as she turned it back to the tree, pretending she wasn't listening.
"To work out a chart of whether the genes would complement my own in producing progeny.." Sheldon twitched suddenly, his mouth snapping shut.
That wasn't supposed to come out.
That was supposed to be a secret.
Leonard was laughing. "And was it?" He managed to ask, in his 'you are NUTS but I wish I'd thought of that' voice."
Sheldon coughed slightly and turned back to the computer. "Quite." He mumbled.
This was not working out.
"I hung Penny's delicates on the line for the world to see." He declared loudly, hoping to distract the others with the memory.
"Oh yeah." Leonard grinned again. "You did. That was pretty epic."
Penny narrowed her eyes at him, and he shut up.
"But then you brought them all back, DIDN'T you?" She said sweetly, in a voice that sounded more like it was asking a question.
Sheldon froze again.
She was definitely onto him.
"I returned all that I strung up." He replied, the truth, though not entirely.
He HADN'T strung them all up.
There was one pair that had fascinated him, which he had set aside, and then forgotten to return later, and somehow they had ended up in a little box on the shelf in his closet behind the little box with the napkin with the DNA of his idol.
He'd meant to return them, but they looked just like his Doppler effect costume and he'd wondered if it was an accurate representation of the phenomenon.
He blinked at his computer.
He was sick.
But they'd been clean!
And fairly accurate too.
There was a sound that he rarely heard, and it was right behind him.
Penny sucking on her teeth.
He held his breath.
"So uh, Sheldon." She finally said, and he could picture her staring at him through narrowed eyes with her arms crossed and her head tilted to one side. "Done anything else 'bad' you want to share with us?"
Coveted his roommates girlfriend. Now ex-girlfriend.
Hacked into her facebook account and deleted Leonard as a friend.
Tried to train her with chocolate.
"Um. No." He replied, his face twitching like crazy.
"Uh huh." Penny nodded.
Leonard's phone rang and he muttered something about the pizza being here and left hurriedly.
"So Sheldon." Penny said, her voice a bit different somehow. "How would you like to do something really bad?"
His eyes widened, and against his own will he found himself turning the chair once more to face her.
She smirked. "It was my hair. I know that. I remember, I wasn't really asleep. And I noticed the bra gone. I only bought it because it reminded me of you, and its actually kinda hot that you didn't return it. So I kinda thought maybe you liked me, but now I'm pretty sure." She smiled, and it was look that made his blood pump a little bit faster. "So you wanna do something bad?"
"Like what?" He whispered.
"Make out with your roommates ex-girlfriend?"
She watched as a ghost of a smile flitted across his face. His eyes narrowed. "If I'm going to be bad," he began. "Then why not be really bad and steal her completely?"
Penny's eyebrow twitched. "Done."
She didn't tell him that he'd done that a long time ago.
He reached out a hand to touch her gently, and she straddled his lap in response, their faces a bare inch apart, his hands holding her firmly against him. "Where's my bra?" She whispered.
He narrowed his eyes. "Where's my superman shirt?"
She touched her mouth to his. "You'll never find it."
When Leonard entered the room a few minutes later, it took him a moment to realise what was going on.
There were two people on Sheldon's computer chair.
They were kissing and making noises and..
Leonard blinked a few times and turned around, walked out. "Frakin evil genius." He muttered, reaching for his phone.
"Hey Leslie, wanna share a pizza with me?"