The moon rose high above the trees as Remus Lupin approached his small apartment. The usually fearsome celestial body slipped behind a cloud, causing the werewolf's anxiety to decrease, almost as if the object of his fear was offering a small condolence to his grief.

Gone. Sirius Orin Black was finally gone.

The scene continually replayed itself in his mind. One moment the man had been gallantly throwing hexs and jinxs, looking more alive then he had in months, and then it had all shattered as Sirius fell through that damn veil. Remus had held Harry back, knowing the boy would follow his Godfather; but he had also used Harry as an excuse to hold himself back. Wouldn't he have loved to fall in that darkness, refusing to lose Sirius again, to see the Potter's?

Remus felt a sob tear past his barrier, "Almost there." He muttered to himself. For thirteen years he had hated Sirius Black. They had all been led to believe him responsible for James, Lily's, and Peter's deaths and Remus had despised him for it. And then everything was ok; Sirius proved to be innocent, returned to him, and forgave him. Everything was as it was supposed to be… gone, gone now, never to miraculously return again.

The keys to his apartment shook as Remus tried to calm himself, gulping air as if he too might lose it. He flipped on his light and gently shut the door, resisting the urge to slam it and scream about this wrong, then froze.

"Remus…" Sirius Black whispered from across the werewolf's small living room.

Remus opened his mouth to scream, but only a pathetic whimper escaped. He backed up to the door and pushed his hands over his eyes, sliding them roughly into his hair. Lies, lies, all lies! This had happened before, seeing Sirius out of the corner of his eye, hearing his teasing in his ears, dreaming about every encounter. But not now, not anymore! Remus wouldn't allow it now that Sirius would never come back to him.

"No, Remus, no, no-" Remus slid down his doorframe as the apparition approached, pulling painfully at his hair to clear his head. This Sirius dropped to the floor to Remus where he took the distraught man's cheeks into his hands.

"Shhh, Remus shhh…" The ghost wiped the tears that had betrayed the werewolf as the now flowed freely. "I'm sorry Moony, Dumbly, Dumbledore arranged this, I'm not dead I swear!"

Remus began to tremble, pressing his hands to his ears trying not to hear this hallucination. This Sirius pulled the werewolf close, pressing their noses together.

"Remus listen! Dumbledore didn't want this to happen again, Harry's not stable enough to make his own decisions and we can't risk Voldamort getting to Harry because of a simple distraction, I'm a distraction!" Sirius stressed, bringing Remus so close most of his speech was mumbled against the others lips.

Remus stopped and stared at the man in front of him, filtering the words slowly. Suddenly he tangled his fingers in Sirius's hair and kicked himself from the door onto the other male. Their lips crashed together, teeth clashing as they molded into a familiar pattern. Sirius wrapped his arms around the smaller males hips, pulling them as close as the possibly could be, showing the werewolf how real he was. Remus needed to feel him, assure himself that this man was no dream and was not gone. He felt Sirius inhale deeply as their lips devoured each other, he felt himself lying between the male's thighs, and he felt familiar hands digging under his shirt.

"How?" Remus gasped as Sirius rolled them over.

"Portkey-" Sirius panted as he attacked Remus's neck, "Real veil… hidden. Protect Harry from himself."

Remus's mind whirled around the truth, or just the sensations Sirius' kisses were causing. He looked up at his lover, seeking the buttons on the man's shirt.

Real, he was real, not gone, never, never again would he allow it.

"Mine." Remus pulled Sirius back to him to knot his fingers in his favorite spot behind the man's neck.

"Mine." Sirius muttered as he held one of the only things he lived for.


I remember reading Ootp and thinking that it was only another on of Dumbledore's chess pieces to create the perfect fighting Harry, that nothing as silly as a veil (I mean really?) could defeat a man that had lived through dementors… and leave Remus. Not one of JK Rolling's best decisions, it would have been perfectly logical to make this a part of the big plan! XD Please Review