I do not own anything except the plot.

If you actually read the book, you would know that Jonsey's real name is Gary and Beaver's real name is Joe


It was two days before Duddits's fifteenth birthday, no one knew what to get him.

"We should get him a movie," Beaver said glancing toward the movie department in the small shop we were in.

"Yea like what? Pete asked. "He has every single Scooby-Doo movie ever made."

"Well what should we get him?" Jonsey asked, about to give up.

"Does he like goldfish?" I asked, tapping at the fish tank.

"Henry," Pete said walking towards me. "Those fish are all dead."

"Except this little fella," Beaver said pointing at one, swimming by itself.

"Lets get it!" Exclaimed Jonsey.

We all looked at him, silent for a moment. Then we started laughing.

"What are you boys up to today?" the store clerk asked peering past her thin glasses.

"We're looking for a birthday present for a friend," Beaver answered.

I elbowed him. Now she'll never shut up, I thought

"So you're gonna get him one of those stinky little ugly things?"

Beaver nodded, smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "That thing will be dead by the time you get home. Now let me show you a real fish," she said walking towards another tank.

"No thanks ma'am," Pete said. "We want this one."

We all nodded.

"Suit yourself." with that, she left.

"Thought she'd never shut up," Jonsey said once she was gone.

"How are we supposed to, you know, get it out?" I asked Pete.

"I don't know, but im not gonna pay for that thing," He said sticking it down Beaver's shirt.

"Dammit Pete! Why the hell would you do that?" Beaver exclaimed.

"Shut up," I hissed. "Let's just get out of here"

"Fine, let's go," Jonsey said, agreeing with me.

"But its in my shirt!" Beaver protested.

"Im gonna shove it in your mouth if you don't shut up," Jonsey threatened

"Shut up Gary."

Jonsey was pissed. No one ever called him by his real name ever. "That's it Joe Clarendon!" Jonsey shouted as he grabbed the fish and stuck it in Beaver's mouth.

"Go, Now!" I shouted at them.

Once we were outside, I put the fish in Jonsey's water bottle.

"Hey," Jonsey whined.

"Hey, after all, you STUCK IT IN MY MOUTH!"

"Go home Joe."

"Don't tell me what to do Gary," Beaver spat back.

"Piss off,"Pete added. "The both of you!"

"Guys," I interrupted. "It's still alive,"

"No way henry," Jonsey started.

"Yea, " Pete interrupted, "It was in Beaver's mouth, how can it survive that?"

Beaver punched Pete hard in the shoulder.

Pete murmured a curse at Beaver but we couldn't tell for sure what he had said.

"Grow up you guys," I snapped.

Somehow we managed to keep the goldfish alive and get it into an actual fish-bowl.

"Why did we wrap it in tinfoil?" Beaver asked while we walked to

Duddits's house.

"Because we couldn't find any wrapping paper," I said.

"it would look better if we wouldn't have tried to draw a bow on it," Pete pointed out.

"What is that?" Roberta asked when we arrived.

"Duddits's birthday present," Beaver answered happily.

"Oh dear," She said sighing.