Title: Bittersweet Symphony

Author: Janine

Fandom: Lost Girl

Pairing: Bo/Lauren

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Summary: Bo hasn't forgiven Lauren, but she can't stay away.

The first time Bo showed up on her doorstep, soaked to the bone from the pounding rain she had travel through to get there, Lauren had been surprised and more than a little alarmed. As Bo leaned against the doorframe, illuminated by nothing but the dim light flickering above Lauren's door she looked predatory and dangerous in a way that Lauren had never seen before. It unnerved Lauren, and she was silent for a long moment, simply observing Bo before her lips finally parted to questioningly breathe out Bo's name. "I've been thinking about you," was Bo's response to Lauren's whispered word, and then before Lauren could fully process what Bo had said, the succubus darted towards her and suddenly they were kissing as Bo led them inside of the house and closed the door.

The first time they had made love, it had been slow, achingly tender, and intimate. Lauren had felt cherished, and despite the danger that Bo's succubus nature possessed, she had felt safe in Bo's arms. She had felt protected and treasured. Tears of pleasure had leaked from her eyes the first time Bo's fingers and lips brought her to climax, and as Bo's lips pressed against her cheeks, kissing away the tears that dotted them as Lauren trembled beneath her, Lauren's heart had swelled with love.

There was nothing slow, or tender about the way Bo kissed her and touched her on that rainy night, however. Bo's kisses were hard and frantic, and her hands rough and demanding as they took possession of Lauren's body. Lauren had lost most of her clothes and was being pressed against the cushions of her couch before she was fully able to comprehend what was happening. And then Bo's hand was between her legs, and Lauren was arching and moaning, bucking into Bo's hand as the brunette's teeth nipped at her skin. Her hands clutched at Bo, but once where there had been soft, warm, sweet-smelling skin, Lauren's fingers found nothing but cold, rough leather.

Their first night together, Lauren had come to sound of Bo telling her she was beautiful, but on her couch as Bo's fingers worked mercilessly between her legs, all that Lauren heard as she crashed over the edge was the sound of Bo's harsh breath in her ear.

There were no lingering kisses as Lauren caught her breath like there had been before. Bo did not cover Lauren's body with her own, holding her warm and secure as the trembling in Lauren's body slowly ceased. Bo did not smile and kiss her softly, or murmur, "I could watch you come undone like that forever," against Lauren's waiting lips. As rain pattered angrily against the roof and windows, Bo wordlessly withdrew her fingers from inside of Lauren, wiped the damp digits on her dark pants and rose to her feet by the side of the couch.

Bo stared down at her silently for a few moments, her lips curved down in a slight frown as her preternaturally dark eyes studied Lauren impassively. The empty look in Bo's eyes broke something inside of Lauren, and despite the fact that she was still shaking faintly, Lauren reached out for Bo, her lips parting to try and explain what had happened that night a week ago, only to have her arm fall uselessly when Bo stepped back, out of the range of her arm.

"I have to go," Bo murmured, angling her head to the side so that she didn't have to look at Lauren as she spoke.

"Bo," Lauren choked out, blinking rapidly as tears that had nothing to do with pleasure began to well in her eyes. "Please listen to me. What happened that night, it's not what you think. I wasn't ..."

Bo had started to back away, moving towards the door when Lauren began to speak, and as the desperate words tumbled from Lauren's lips Bo moved faster and faster until she finally disappeared from Lauren's line of sight. The sudden loss of Bo startled Lauren for a moment, but then she was on her feet, moving in the direction Bo had gone. However, before she could make it out of the living room she heard the front door close, and by the time she made it out onto her porch, Bo had disappeared into the night.

The next time Bo showed up on her doorstep in the dark of night, Lauren managed to steer them upstairs towards her bedroom before Bo advanced on her with shining blue eyes, picked her up, dropped her on the mattress, stripped her down and had her way with her.

As they had been the last time, Bo's hands and lips were demanding, and her touch was purposeful. She did not linger, simply enjoying the feel of her lover's body against her own as she had the first time they made love. Bo marched forward determinedly until Lauren was arching beneath her, coming with Bo's name on her lips. This time however, as Lauren's orgasm subsided, Bo continued to stroke her, almost gently, until Lauren went limp beneath her, and when Bo finally withdrew from within Lauren, she did it carefully before she slid off of the bed onto her feet.

Unfortunately, though Lauren had managed to get them up to her room, she hadn't been any more successful at undressing Bo than she had been the last time, so with one last look at Lauren's prone form Bo had been able to turn and walk out of the room before Lauren's body had calmed down enough for her to move after the succubus.

The third time Bo showed up at her door with that wild, desperate, punishing look in her eyes, Lauren managed to get Bo out of enough of her clothes that she could at least feel the succubus' skin against her own as Bo mounted her and took Lauren's pleasure as easily as she could have leaned down and taken her life.

It was on that night, for the first time since Bo's night-time visits had begun, that the succubus spoke to Lauren as they touched. As Bo moved inside of her, the damp press of Bo's panties on her nude thigh driving Lauren faster and faster towards completion, Bo commented on the reactions of Lauren's body to her touch, as if she were surprised that Lauren had the audacity to enjoy her touch after what Lauren had done to her. As Lauren's body arched and strained, Bo asked if she liked what she was giving her, if she wanted more, if she needed more, even though the response of Lauren's body to her touch was unmistakable.

Bo's hips moved against Lauren's thigh more anxiously as the doctor approached climax, and just as Lauren began to crest, Bo clutched at her – and in a voice that sounded more broken than angry – she whispered, "I don't even know why I'm here." The sound of Bo's voice sent Lauren over the edge, and as she came Bo continued to buck against her until she too was trembling in the throes of orgasm.

Her climax made it take a little longer for Bo to slide from the bed, but, as she had done all of the other times, Bo slipped off of Lauren's bed, quickly pulled on what clothes the blonde had managed to remove and headed out of the room without a word.

It took two more visits before Lauren was finally able to able to get Bo beneath her and touch her with her lips and hands.

On that fifth night, after getting Lauren off, Bo had attempted to leave as usual, but Lauren had reached out for her, capturing her wrist – much like she had done that first evening they were together – and Bo had stopped and looked down at her long enough for Lauren to slip off of the bed and onto her knees before the brunette. Rebellion flashed in Bo's eyes as Lauren reached to take hold of her hips, but desire made her slow and once Lauren's mouth was on her, Bo didn't have the willpower to pull away from her. Instead, Bo's hand migrated to Lauren's head and her fingers tangled in her hair, holding Lauren's mouth against her as her hips arched forward, taking her pleasure instead of allowing Lauren to give it.

Bo was unsteady after orgasm tore through her and was forced to take a seat on the edge of Lauren's bed. When she did her fingers remained in Lauren's hair, but instead of grasping and holding her as she had been before, Bo's fingers trailed through the blonde strands almost affectionately. And, when Lauren gently kissed her thighs and hips, her stomach and her breasts before slowly bringing her lips to Bo's, the succubus allowed every touch. The gentle, almost peaceful post-coital haze surrounding them didn't last for long however, and after a minute of soft touches, Bo gently disengaged herself from Lauren and gathered up her clothes before hurrying out of the room with a quick, "I'll see you."

On the eighth night Bo's brooding figure showed up on Lauren's porch, Lauren found herself trailing her fingers lightly up Bo's naked thigh, following the path of her fingers with her lips as Bo's stomach rose and fell deeply as she sought to regain her breath after the orgasm Lauren had just brought her too. This was the third time in a row that Bo hadn't rushed off as soon as her legs could support her, and Lauren was determined to make the most of Bo's continued presence in her bed.

"Come here," Bo murmured softly, reaching down to run her fingers gently over Lauren's cheek as the blonde's lips traced her hipbone.

Lauren obeyed the softly spoken request and flowed up until her face was hovering above Bo's. She met the brunette eyes, and when Bo didn't look away from her she decided to test the waters and lowered her head until their lips brushed against each other. Bo had allowed Lauren to kiss her the last few times they were together, but the brunette's participation in the kisses had been minimal. This time however, Bo brought her hand around to the back of Lauren's neck keeping her in place, and when Lauren's tongue teased her lips, Bo opened for her and returned the kiss.

"Explain to me what happened," Bo said when Lauren pulled away from her.

Her voice was tight with emotion as she spoke, but her fingers were gentle as the stroked Lauren's cheeks, wiping away damp tracks of tears Lauren hadn't even been aware she had shed while they kissed.

"I never meant to hurt you," Lauren whispered, reaching up to grasp Bo's hand with her own, holding it tightly for a moment before she pressed her lips to it reverentially.

"I know," Bo sighed wearily, as if it took quite a bit out of her to admit that she knew Lauren hadn't acted out of malice. "But you did hurt me. I need to understand why. I need you to explain to me what happened."

She wasn't sure that getting involved with Lauren again was a good idea, but her heart wasn't giving her a choice in the matter. She had tried and failed to stay away from the blonde for the last month. Despite all of the promises she made to herself, no matter how much she swore she was done with the doctor, Bo had found herself on Lauren's doorstep again and again, aching for the blonde and hating herself for it. Whether it was a good idea or not, Bo was drawn to Lauren, and given the behaviour that Lauren had put up with from her over the past month, Bo couldn't help but believe that Lauren was genuinely drawn to her too. But before they could take another step towards truly reconciling, Bo needed to understand why Lauren had betrayed her trust the way she had the first night they made love.

Lauren released Bo's hand and stretched out beside the brunette on the mattress. She felt exposed lying naked on top of the sheets, but Bo made no effort to cover herself so neither did Lauren.

It took her a moment to compose her thoughts. She could feel the tension in Bo's body but she didn't let herself rush. She had panicked when Bo accused of her using her that first night. She had spoken without thinking and her words had only made the situation worse. She wouldn't make the same mistake this time.

"I was scared Bo," Lauren began looking over at Bo even though it was difficult for her to maintain eye contact while talking about her feelings.

"Of the Ash?" Bo inquired, dropping her eyes down to the pendant pressed against Lauren's breastbone.

"No," Lauren breathed out, shaking her head. "I was scared for you. You're so strong," Lauren said blinking against the tears forming in her eyes. "You're so brave, but you're not invincible, Bo. The Ash and the Morrigan have agreed to leave you be for the moment, but if either of them decide that you are no longer neutral territory, you'll have species of Fae you've never even dreamed of hunting you down. I've seen people marked for death before. They never last long. If you had gone after the Mesmer, if you had ..." Lauren paused and closed her, breathing in deeply to try and control the panic rising within her as she remembered the danger that Bo had been in.

"I didn't make love to you because I was ordered to," Lauren continued opening her eyes again, forcing her voice to remain steady as she looked at Bo. "I wanted to keep you safe, and ... God, Bo, I just wanted you," she breathed out shakily. "I care about you, more than I can say. More than is safe. More than is sane probably. I never lied about my feelings for you. I see so many amazing things living among the Fae, but making love to you was the most beautiful thing experience I've had since the Ash put this around my neck," she continued, lifting her hand to finger the intricately moulded pendant that rested heavily against her skin. "I'm so sorry, Bo. I never meant to hurt you. I just ..." Lauren sighed. "I didn't want anything to happen to you. I didn't want to lose you."

Bo looked away from Lauren when the doctor finished speaking and rolled onto her back to stare up at Lauren's ceiling. She was only silent for a minute, but in Lauren's anxious state it felt like an inordinately long amount of time. Finally, just as Lauren was beginning to feel the urge to squirm, Bo sighed deeply and turned onto her side again so that she was facing Lauren.

"I believe that you did what you thought was right," Bo said slowly. "But it's not up to you to police my life," she continued holding Lauren's eyes fiercely. "For months now I've had a bunch of stranger bitches on my ass trying to tell me what to do and how to live my life, putting up roadblocks before me every time I try to carve out my own path. I spend half my life looking over my shoulder. I need to be able to trust the people that are close to me," Bo continued, exhaling tiredly.

"I've always done everything in my power to help you," Lauren proclaimed, not quite able to hide the hurt she felt at Bo suggesting otherwise.

"And if the Ash ordered you to do something that would hurt me?" Bo asked pointedly.

"I may wear this chain, but I'm not a mindless slave," Lauren responded hotly, her hazel eyes flashing with indignance as she met Bo's gaze. "I've already risked everything to help you," Lauren continued, "I'm not going to sell you out Bo. Property of the Ash or not, I have to live with myself and I couldn't do that if I knowingly hurt you. I'm not your enemy."

Bo studied Lauren silently for a minute, scanning her expression for signs of deceit and finding nothing.

Bo reached out for the blonde and brushed her thumb tenderly across her pale cheek.

"You'd disobey him? You'd do that for me?" Bo asked in a soft, tentatively hopeful voice.

"I went up against a Basilisk for you. I'd say there's very little I wouldn't be willing to do for you," Lauren responded, allowing her lips to curve up into a shy smile when Bo smiled at her.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few more seconds and then Bo closed the distance between them, bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss the likes of which they hadn't shared since their first time together. Lauren moaned into Bo's mouth and her body melted against the brunette's as the tension and worry she had been carrying around since she was left clutching her necklace and Bo's sheet to her body in the succubus' empty room finally died away.

"Stay," Lauren breathed out as they pulled away from each other long moments later. "Stay with me tonight," she continued, even though she was aware that she might have been asking too much from Bo too soon, but unable to help herself. "I'll cook. We can watch a movie," the blonde whispered stroking Bo's cheek. "It'll be like we're normal people."

"You cook?" Bo asked curiously as a smile touched her lips, finding the idea of Lauren puttering around a kitchen ridiculously endearing.

Lauren smiled and nodded, unconsciously leaning closer to Bo in the face of the succubus' positive response to her previous words.

"Not only do I cook, but I'm pretty good at it."

Bo hummed thoughtfully in response to Lauren's words.

"Is there anything you're not good at?" she asked playfully a moment later.

"Soccer," Lauren responded without hesitation which made Bo smile. "I tend to fall when I try to kick things."

Bo laughed softly at that, her eyes crinkling at the sides with amusement. Her expression soon sobered however, and she ended up gazing at Lauren pensively for a few moments. Then, hesitantly, as if she wasn't quite sure that it was a good idea, Bo leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on Lauren's lips.

"I'd like to stay," she said earnestly, holding Lauren's eyes when she pulled back. "I'd like to see you in an apron," she added a second later, smiling as she raked her eyes over Lauren's body in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"When you smile like that it makes me think you want to see me in nothing but an apron," Lauren murmured, blushing lightly at the thought though she did not seem displeased by the idea.

Bo's smile widened until her expression could be characterized as exuberant and Lauren couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up in her throat and past her lips even as she reached out and slapped Bo lightly on the arm.

"Fine, fine," Bo relented, smiling as Lauren's hand began to gently stroke her arm. "You don't need to wear the apron either."

Lauren's lips curved up at that.

"Cheeky," the blonde breathed out sounding completely and utterly charmed.

It took them nearly ten minutes to actually get out of Lauren's bed and into some clothes, but when Bo walked out of Lauren's bedroom, for the first time since she had started showing up on the blonde's doorstep, it was with Lauren's hand firmly ensconced in her own and a smile on her lips.

The End