Title: Conversations about the Complicated
Fandom: Lost Girl
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Summary: Bo and Lauren have reconciled with each other, but that doesn't mean that everything is smooth sailing.
Note: This follows in the same timeline as Bittersweet Symphony, which is to say that Bo and Lauren have reconciled with each other after the events in 1x08 Vexed and are currently lovers.
Jazz played unobtrusively in the background of the living room as Lauren leaned over her coffee table and carefully filled the wine glasses resting on it with merlot. As she poured she could feel Bo's eyes on her, studying her every move and forced herself not to react to the scrutiny. Bo's eyes hadn't left her since she had first moved over to the wine rack to retrieve the bottle that was presently in her hand, and the gaze was beginning to weigh on her. The truth was that Bo liked to look at her, and Lauren couldn't deny that it usually gave her a thrill to be gazed at so appreciatively, but there was something different about Bo's gaze at that moment. Bo wasn't just watching Lauren then, she was contemplating her.
"What is it?" the blonde asked without looking up, feigning nonchalance.
"Nothing," Bo murmured distractedly, her eyes focused on the pendant hanging between Lauren's breasts, watching as it glittered mockingly in the candlelight illuminating the room.
"It's something," Lauren responded softly, aware of the fact that Bo's attention was trained on the pendant that marked her as the Ash's property. "You can ask me anything," she added calmly a second later as she turned to the side to place the wine bottle down on the table.
Bo's eyes drifted up from Lauren's chest at that, and she tilted her head to the side, observing the blonde thoughtfully for a moment, trying to decide to if she really wanted to have this conversation. Things had been good between them for the past couple of weeks. They had begun to talk again, and when Lauren looked into her eyes the affection in the blonde's gaze once again outweighed the weariness in them. They were slowly getting back to something that approached what they had been before the disastrous night they had first made love. That was something that Bo desperately wanted, but she couldn't ignore the fact that there was still a distance between them. She had trusted Lauren in a way that she hadn't trusted anybody else, not even Kenzi. She had shared her deepest concerns, the secret longings in her heart with Lauren, yet despite the fact that they had reconciled, Bo was hesitant to open herself up so completely to Lauren again. There were still questions that Bo needed answers to in order to gain back the old trust she had in Lauren, and until she got answers to those questions she knew that the distance between herself and Lauren would remain.
"Sit?" Bo requested gently, deciding that the reward renewed closeness was worth the risk of asking.
Lauren breathed in deeply at the request and blinked a few times, steeling herself to embark upon what was likely to be an uncomfortable conversation, then she moved toward the couch. However, before she could sit down, Bo placed her hand on Lauren's hip and directed the blonde onto her lap – which despite her anxiousness, made Lauren smile. As Lauren settled on Bo's lap, the succubus leaned in and kissed her neck tenderly, trailing her lips over Lauren' skin while her hands moved up and down on Lauren's thighs soothingly until the doctor sighed softly and relaxed into Bo's embrace.
"What does it mean?" Bo's fingers drifted towards the pendant resting between Lauren's breasts as she spoke and she trailed her finger along the curved edge.
"You know what it means," Lauren whispered, lifting her hand to touch Bo's so that she could draw it away from the pendant. "It may not be seared into my flesh, but the pendant is a brand. It marks me as his property."
Bo could hear the apprehension in Lauren's voice and could feel the blonde tensing up in her lap, but she knew she had to push on. She needed to ask these questions and she needed to hear Lauren's responses to them in order for them to truly be able to move forward and gain back the intimacy that had existed between them before. Having Lauren in her arms again was wonderful, being able to put her lips on the blonde and trail her fingers over her body was amazing, but more than anything what Bo wanted to get back was that feeling of closeness, and safety, and love she had felt when she was with Lauren before. She wanted to be able to stare deeply into Lauren's eyes again without wondering what the blonde was hiding. She wanted to talk to Lauren without wondering what things the blonde was choosing not to say.
"But what does that mean exactly?" Bo asked, resting her chin on Lauren's shoulder as she flexed her arms around the blonde, holding her more firmly. "What does it mean for your life? How far into you do his hooks dig?"
Lauren sucked in a deep breath and shifted uncomfortably on Bo's lap. Bo knew that she was feeling distressed and probably wanted to put some distance between them, but she kept her arms secured around Lauren's body. She needed to feel Lauren in her arms. She needed to feel the connection between them to keep calm, to keep from giving into the hurt that threatened to overwhelm her when she thought about that night.
"That's," Lauren exhaled heavily, "that's a bit complicated to answer," she continued sighing. "Technically there are no boundaries, no limits to his control until my contract has been fulfilled. In actuality, he's never put much pressure on me. I'm his chief medical officer, and since I've been ... well, his, medical decisions are all I've been involved with. Who I sleep with, my hobbies, how I vote, anything to do with my personal life really, has been of no concern to him before."
Bo took a moment to process Lauren's words, biting on her bottom lip pensively.
"If you're not involved in the ... political side of the business, then why did the Ash send you to me that night?"
"He found out that I was helping you learn how to control your powers," Lauren sighed tiredly. "Someone at the lab must have told him," she explained, leaving out the fact that the Ash must have put the fear of the Blood King in them in order for one of her friends to have betrayed her confidence. "Once he knew that we had a personal relationship I became something that he could use."
Bo's jaw clenched and her lips pursed as Lauren spoke, her body tensing with hurt, and frustration, and irritation. Lauren noted the change in Bo's expression, and being pressed so intimately against the brunette she was able to feel the stiffening of Bo's body. She stopped speaking for a moment, and reached out so that she could take Bo's hand into her own, hoping to comfort Bo and keep her calm until she was able to finish her answer.
"The Ash's decision to try and save Lou Anne was political. He has a strong interest in you, and he didn't want you getting yourself killed trying to save her. He wanted me to act for his benefit, but I came to you because I was scared for you, because I wanted to protect you, not because it was what he wanted. If the Ash has a heart at all, it's never in the right place, but just because his order was self-servicing it didn't mean that it had no merit. Swords and cross-bows are no defence against a Mesmer, Bo. You would have died, and I couldn't ... I couldn't just watch you walk away. I couldn't," Lauren finished roughly, blinking rapidly to contain the tears that had begun to sting her eyes.
Bo's pride was wounded by Lauren's lack of faith in her ability to handle the Mesmer, but as Trick and Dyson had both also shared Lauren's fear, Bo couldn't be completely offended by it. The truth was that Bo hadn't been thinking logically at the time. She hadn't truly considered the risks associated with going after the Mesmer. Her desire to learn about her past had outweighed her instinct for self-preservation. Trick had remained worried for her even after giving her his powerful Fae-killing unicorn blade, but his worry hadn't registered with her in any meaningful way. It was only in retrospect that Bo could acknowledge that she'd had no idea what she was getting herself into, and despite the fact that it wounded her feelings a bit, she was able to recognize that Lauren was probably right to have been so concerned about her.
"You're thinking again," Lauren said stroking the back of Bo's hand with her thumb as the seconds wore on without Bo responding to her.
Before things had gone wrong between them, she'd loved to study Bo's face in the moments when Bo lapsed into deep thought. Seriousness transformed Bo into a romantically brooding figure that would have seemed perfectly at home in the shifting shadows of an English castle, and Lauren had watched her, utterly captivated. Since That Night however, when Bo's expression became thoughtfully brooding it had only led to arguments, harsh words and hurtful actions, and Lauren was not anxious to experience that again now that things had calmed between them.
"Don't sound so surprised," Bo complained lightly, "I may be a succubus but I'm not entirely Id-driven. I think," Bo muttered. "I read," she added a bit morosely as she remembered Dyson telling her to read a book the week before.
"I didn't mean to insinuate that you're an airhead," Lauren murmured before gently taking Bo's face into her hands. "I just wanted to know what you were thinking about."
Bo was mollified by Lauren's response to her, and when the blonde leaned in to kiss her, Bo met her lips eagerly.
"You don't actually want me to give you a penny, do you?" Lauren asked breathily when she pulled back, her eyes sparkling with mirth as she gazed down at Bo.
Bo's lips curved up into a smile at that, but a few seconds later her eyes turned serious again.
"What happens to you if you disobey him?"
Lauren shivered and cut her eyes away from Bo's, not wanting Bo to see how much the answer to that question terrified her.
"Pain," Lauren breathed out as casually as she could. "Death," she continued, "In that order."
"He would kill you?" Bo asked, still struggling on occasion to remember that the Light Fae were just as ruthless as their Dark Fae counterparts, despite their fluffy, 'sugar and spice and everything nice' sounding name.
"He could," Lauren responded still looking away. "Though it's likely to sound a touch conceited, I'm a valuable asset to him. He wouldn't kill me for a minor infraction, but he could and would hurt me. If my transgression was a serious one however, he would kill me without a second thought."
"Even though you're an asset?"
"Asset or not, I'm a replaceable resource," Lauren sighed, closing her eyes. "Finding someone to take over my position would inconvenience the Ash, and he usually tries to avoid being inconvenienced. But the trouble he would have to go through to fill my position only protects me so much. If he views me as a threat, he'll make the time to interview for replacements."
Bo was quiet for a second, then exhaled angrily and unconsciously tightened her hold on Lauren. It galled her that Lauren's life rested in the hands of some stranger asshole with the voice of a CGI dragon. No person, Fae or otherwise, should have had it within their power to own another sentient being. How any civilized people could view that as acceptable in this day and age was beyond her. The whole thing was wrong. It was sick. It pissed Bo off beyond belief.
"This whole situation pisses me off," Bo declared irascibly. "I am so sick of the Fae and their endless shit."
"I know," Lauren sighed, brushing some dark strands of hair behind Bo's ears before she leaned down and kissed the succubus.
"I won't accept it, Lauren," Bo said a touch breathily as they parted. "Not for you and not for me. I don't know what the hell I can do about it, but I don't accept it."
Lauren smiled gently at that and then leaned forward to press her lips to Bo's forehead sweetly, touched and awed by Bo's relentless spirit.
"For a long time I have accepted it," Lauren admitted softly, hanging her head down in shame as she spoke. "I've served under him for so long that I'd almost forgotten what it was like to want something for myself when I met you. But you," she bit down on her bottom lip, chewing on it for a moment as she stared at Bo. "You reminded me. You've awoken something inside of me, something that had been asleep for years, and I can't accept it now either. I don't want to. I like ... feeling."
Something inside of Bo unclenched at Lauren's words, and she felt the walls she had built around her heart to protect herself over the past few weeks begin to crumble. She knew that Lauren was in a vulnerable position and that she couldn't simply walk away from the Ash and the Fae, but it was important to Bo to know that she was high on Lauren's list of priorities as well. She needed to know that Lauren was willing to fight for her, just like she was willing to fight for the blonde. The thought that Lauren would abandon her if things got too difficult had been torturing Bo since they had reconciled. She hadn't been able to let go of the thought that Lauren would choose fear over love if put in a difficult situation, but the words Lauren had just spoken and the conviction in her eyes put Bo's worries to rest, and for the first time in weeks Bo truly let hope flare up inside of her.
"You do realize that fighting 300,000 years of Fae history is likely to get us killed," Lauren breathed out as a large, pleased smile spread across Bo's lips.
Bo lifted her hand to capture Lauren's wrist and then kissed the blonde's palm tenderly.
"I don't mind the idea of dying to be free," she breathed out a moment later. "I don't mind risking everything if it means that I'll be able to choose how to live my own life ... and choose who I want to live it with," she continued holding Lauren's eyes.
Lauren blinked quickly as her lips curved up into a wide smile, her cheeks colouring with embarrassment a moment later as she realized how big her smile was.
"Neither do I," she whispered.
She knew that the surety with which she spoke would have likely surprised many who knew her, and it surprised her too. But, as she looked down at Bo's beautiful, happy face, Lauren knew without a doubt that it was true. She had already risked her life for Bo, and ill-conceived, irrational, impractical, fool-hardy and life-threatening as aligning herself with Bo promised to be, Lauren knew that she would do it again and again in a heartbeat. It was madness, the way she felt about Bo, but it was an insanity that she never wanted to be cured of.
"Just for the record," Bo said drawing Lauren out of her thoughts, "I don't plan on dying any time soon."
Lauren smiled at that, but as she ran her fingers lightly over Bo's cheeks her expression turned serious once more.
"Good," she breathed out. "I would never forgive you if you did," she whispered fiercely, staring deeply into Bo's eyes the entire time.
"It's decided then. I have to live," Bo returned softly. "You seem like you'd be scary when you're mad."
Despite the heavy emotions that had just settled over her, Lauren felt her lips curve up into a smile again at Bo's words, and she couldn't resist leaning down to bring their lips together in a slow, deep, thorough kiss that left her panting and throbbing as she squirmed where she rested on Bo's lap.
"God, Lauren," Bo moaned, burying her face in Lauren's neck, kissing and sucking and nipping on the skin she found there. "You're so responsive," Bo breathed into Lauren's skin, knowing that the blonde was already wet and needing her.
During their kiss Bo had felt the energy radiating from Lauren spike powerfully as the blonde became aroused, and the sudden onslaught of lust left Bo struggling to control the instinct to flip Lauren onto the couch and shove her face between the blonde's legs until Lauren came or she passed out.
"Fuck," Bo groaned as the ache between her legs intensified, "I want you so badly."
"Have me," Lauren immediately gasped. "It's okay," she whispered a moment later when Bo made no move to develop the contact between them. "Touch me," she encouraged, "please."
Bo moaned and took Lauren by the hips, easily lifting the blonde off of her lap, and then she lay her down on the couch. Every instinct in Bo was calling for her to immediately start ripping off Lauren's clothes until the blonde was flush and naked before her, ripe for the taking, but she breathed in and out deeply and stopped herself from acting on her baser desires. Being on the couch with Lauren like this reminded her of the first time she had shown up on Lauren's doorstep, hurt and angry, wanting make Lauren feel a fraction of the devastation that she was. The last time she'd had sex with Lauren on that couch she had done so in an attempt to make Lauren feel as cheap and used as the blonde had made her feel, and the memory of it shamed Bo.
"You never took something from me I wasn't willing to give you," Lauren said, drawing Bo's eyes over to her, knowing where Bo's mind had gone from the guilty, tormented expression on her face. "It wasn't how I dreamed of being with you again, but I did want to have your hands on me. I knew you were punishing me, but I didn't care. I wanted you with me. I missed you too," she continued, leaning up to kiss Bo softly.
"I'm still sorry," Bo said, blinking to hold back the tears suddenly stinging her eyes.
"I know," Lauren responded kindly before she sweetly brought their lips together again. "I'm not angry with you," she continued when they parted. "It's probably not very politically correct of me, but in a way, I came to like it," Lauren sighed, shifting beneath Bo as she spoke. "You were so ... raw," she breathed out, clenching her jaw against the wave of desire that tore through her at the memory of Bo's rough touches. "I love it when you're slow." Lauren's eyelashes fluttered as images from the night before flooded her mind. "I really love it," she continued, unable to stop the soft moan that escaped from her as she shifted on Bo's lap, trying to find some relief from the throbbing between her legs, "but you don't need to be gentle all the time. You ..." she paused, biting down on her bottom lip.
"What?" Bo rasped anxiously when Lauren's skin coloured and her voice trailed off. "Tell me," she added in a voice that sounded distinctly pleading. "It's okay."
"You can be rough, sometimes," Lauren breathed out in a rush. "You don't need to hold back. I'm not made of glass. You can ... pin me against walls. You can take me on the kitchen counter. You don't have to control your instincts with me. At least not those ones," she went on knowing that Bo always had to keep a tight leash on her hunger for life-energy when they were together. She would be able to survive short pulls from Bo, but if the brunette ever truly unleashed her hunger upon Lauren there was no way she'd survive. "You can ... fuck me," Lauren whispered. "Sometimes I want you to fuck me."
White hot light exploded in Bo's brain at Lauren's words and for a moment the force of her desire literally left her speechless.
"Are you sure?" Bo finally managed to rasp.
She remembered with aching clarity how wet Lauren had been on those nights when she'd showed up unannounced and started to undo Lauren's pants before the front door had even fully closed. Lauren had always come, often multiple times, and not once had she ever tried to stop Bo from having her.
Still, Bo, more than most, was aware of the fact that sometimes how a person's body responded to touch had very little to do with what they felt in their heart. After all, for years her body had responded with orgasmic delight to feeding even though she hated herself and what she was doing with every fibre of her being.
"I'm sure," Lauren responded without a moment's hesitation. She took Bo's face into her hands and looked directly into Bo's eyes. "Take me," she exhaled roughly. "I need you."
Bo groaned with want and then without a moment more delay she leaned down and captured Lauren's lips, plundering the blonde's mouth with a feverish intensity that had Lauren squirming beneath her and moaning into Bo's mouth with desire.
"I've wanted to do this since we made up," Bo moaned into Lauren's mouth as her fingers worked at Lauren's jeans, desperate to get them off of her.
"So have I," Lauren groaned, arching up into Bo's body as the succubus tugged impatiently at her jeans, inadvertently, or perhaps advertently, rubbing the thick seam against Lauren's aching center.
Bo really wanted to get Lauren's pants off so that she could see and taste the blonde's desire, but the sounds Lauren was making were driving her crazy, so when she managed to lower Lauren's fly, Bo simply shoved her hand into Lauren's jeans and slipped her fingers beneath her panties. When she did, her fingers encountered a sea of wetness, and Bo couldn't help the ecstatic moan that escaped from her at the blissful feel of Lauren's arousal drowning her fingers.
"I'm going to make you feel so good," Bo promised kissing Lauren's neck as her fingers began to work between her legs, the last of the restraints she had placed on herself slowly coming loose now that she was assured of Lauren's desire for this.
"You always do," Lauren exhaled tremulously.
Bo shivered with delight and a hot rush of desire flowed through, making her feel like her body was on fire. Her body trembled again with the force of her need and Bo knew that sensible thought would leave her soon.
"You should know," Bo warned, stilling her hand against Lauren so that the blonde would be able to concentrate on her words. "It'll be different for me this time. When we go slowly I can control my instincts. But if I let go, it's almost impossible for me to stop. Orgasm, mine or yours, becomes like oxygen. I need it. I have to keep going until I get it. It's a biological imperative."
"I understand," Lauren said locking eyes with Bo so that the brunette could see that she had heard her clearly and comprehended what she was saying. "I'm not going to try to stop you. Keep going. Please."
Bo sighed with relief and drew her thumb across Lauren's clit, drinking in the blonde's excited gasp like the fine wine they had abandoned on the coffee table. Then, as Lauren was still trembling with pleasure, Bo bent down and took possession of Lauren's lips, fully committing to the task of rocking Lauren's world like never before.
Lauren's fingers trailed over her quivering abdomen, sliding over sweat slicked skin until she was able to lightly thread her fingers through Bo's luscious, dark hair. Her whole body tingled and trembled and she was certain that if Bo squeezed one more orgasm out of her that her brain would overload and she'd pass out.
"Bo," she husked in a voice that was barely audible due to overuse, "I can't," she managed to get out before her tired body rebelled against the effort required to hold out her hand and her arm fell uselessly back against the mattress.
Bo was reluctant to move from between Lauren's legs. Lauren's taste was still on her tongue, and every time she swallowed or breathed in all she wanted to do was return her lips to Lauren's flesh and lose herself in Lauren again. However, when Lauren's arm flopped uselessly against the mattress, Bo knew that the blonde was well and truly exhausted and that she had to let her rest.
"Mm," Lauren sighed, automatically turning to the side and snuggling against Bo as the brunette settled in beside her. "Bo," she whispered sleepily, pressing her lips to the swell of Bo's breast as she flung her arm across the succubus' waist and draped one of her legs over Bo's thigh, settling down half on top of the brunette.
"Are you okay?" Bo asked, running her fingers lightly up and down Lauren's back, enjoying the way the blonde unconsciously pressed herself more firmly against her body as she did.
She had tried to avoid feeding on Lauren, but she hadn't been able to avoid taking some of the blonde's energy while they were together. She had managed to keep it down to short pulls, no more than a second or two at a time and she had only done it three times, but she had still fed and she was a little worried that the energy she had taken, in addition to the physical energy that Lauren had exerted, had seriously depleted the blonde.
"Mm," Lauren murmured listlessly into Bo's skin.
"Can you say a whole sentence for me?" Bo asked, keeping her voice light even though the question was serious. She knew that Lauren was tired, but she wanted to make sure that all of her faculties were functioning properly.
"Ugh," Lauren groaned unhappily, nuzzling her face against Bo's chest in a way the succubus would have found adorable if she hadn't been genuinely concerned.
"Please," Bo breathed out.
Lauren was still for a few moments, as if she had to talk herself into moving, but eventually she breathed in deeply and pushed herself up onto her hand so that she was looking down at Bo's concerned face.
"I'm fine," she said, "really," she continued, drawing her arm from over Bo's waist so that she could reach out and stroke the brunette's cheek gently.
Her touch was soft and weak, but it was steady and her voice was even, which allowed Bo to relax a little.
"You didn't drain me," Lauren went on before she leaned down and softly kissed Bo's lips. "You just tired me out," she whispered playfully against Bo's lips before she lowered herself back down onto the mattress and settled against Bo's side again.
"You're weaker than you should be," Bo said, knowing that the energy she had taken was affecting Lauren, even if Lauren's energy levels weren't dangerously low.
There was a glassy quality to the blonde's eyes that she hadn't seen before. She had made love to Lauren until the blonde had to nudge her away from her sex before, but Lauren's eyes had always been alert afterward, and she was usually jittery, almost hyperactive immediately after they were done. There was usually a reserve of energy in Lauren that kept her going after they'd finished making love, but this time Bo suspected that in addition to thoroughly wearing Lauren out that she had also drained that last reserve of strength.
"I'll get you something to eat," Bo offered solicitously as Lauren lay heavily against her, already trying to remember what food she had seen in Lauren's kitchen when they had been puttering around in there earlier on. She was pretty sure that she'd seem some almonds and dark chocolate, possibly blackberries though she wasn't sure. What Lauren would need to fully recover her energy was sleep, but Bo knew that a little energy boosting snack would give her a bit a lift for a couple hours.
Lauren groaned unhappily again, not pleased by the idea of Bo's body not being against hers anymore, but she removed her arm from across Bo's waist anyway. As much as she wanted Bo to remain exactly where she was, she knew that Bo feeding from her had left her more depleted than just their love-making did, and she knew that eating something was a good idea. She hadn't planned on taking Bo to bed quite so early in the evening, and even with all of the time they had spent tangled in each other embrace, the night was still relatively young and she wanted to stay awake for a bit more of it.
"I'll be quick," Bo promised leaning down to kiss Lauren's lips before she slipped out of the bed, and headed out of the bedroom, naked as the day she was born.
After Bo returned with food to help Lauren refuel, the blonde was able to rummage up some comfy clothes for them to lounge around in, and they found themselves once again downstairs in the living room, spread out on the couch once more. An old movie played on the television and Lauren lay in Bo's arms, her head pillowed on the brunette's chest.
"You'd look good done up like that," Bo commented as a mysterious female in a veil, a bust-hugging blazer and a pencil skirt sashayed onto screen.
Lauren's lips curved up in a smile at that and she murmured, "You'd end up 'accidentally' dropping lots of pens on the floor if I was, wouldn't you?"
Bo's chest rumbled in amusement and Lauren slapped her thigh, playfully admonishingly.
"It's a compliment," Bo muttered as a naughty smile touched her lips.
"The type of compliment that's been legislated against," Lauren drawled, shifting against Bo slightly so that she could angle her head up enough to see the brunette's face. "If I'm dressing up, so are you," she continued.
"Two naughty secretaries would be fun," Bo replied thoughtfully.
"I'm almost scared to find out if you have first-hand knowledge of that," Lauren murmured.
Bo grinned impishly and then shrugged in response, and Lauren laughed softly before pushing herself up onto her arms so that she could lean down and bring their lips together.
"I wasn't really thinking about two naughty secretaries," Lauren murmured against Bo's lips a few seconds later.
"You were after I said it," Bo teased smugly, knowing that a few interesting images had to have been floating through Lauren's head.
"Mm," Lauren hummed. It was true enough. "Maybe the next time," she conceded in a tone that made it clear she would not need much convincing.
"I'm intrigued now," Bo said looking up at Lauren. "What did you have in mind for the first time?"
"You're a private investigator," Lauren drawled, drawing her finger teasing down Bo's torso. "Maybe one night you should dress like one."
"You do know that most PI's strap-on ... weapons, right?" Bo asked watching Lauren closely, relief and excitement flooding through her body when she notice Lauren's eyes widen slightly, and her tongue peak out to wet her lips after the phrase 'strap-on' fell from Bo's lips. "My costume would require some accessories," she continued, bumping her pelvis against Lauren suggestively.
"We should try to be as authentic as possible," Lauren responded in a voice that was slightly huskier than it had been a minute before.
"Why Dr. Lewis," Bo drawled, grinning feeling a wave of desire roll off of Lauren and crash over her. "I..."
Bo groaned in frustration as her phone began ringing a few meters away from where they were lying.
"Let it go to voice-mail," Lauren murmured, nuzzling her face in Bo's bosom to convey how very much she didn't want to the succubus to leave the couch.
"It's probably Kenzi," Bo said apologetically.
Lauren nodded and eased up off of Bo so that the brunette could slip out from beneath her and make her way to her jacket which was draped over the back of a nearby chair. She didn't love that snuggle time had been interrupted, but Bo's loyalty to her friends was one of the things that Lauren admired most about her, so she couldn't be upset with Bo for wanting to find out what Kenzi needed. Honestly, knowing Kenzi it was probably a good idea to jump and answer the phone since the girl had likely gotten into some life-threatening situation, arrested, or both.
Drawing the quilt that had been loosely draped over them securely around her body, Lauren watched as Bo plucked her phone from the pocket of her jacket and glanced at the screen. Her eyebrows drew together for a moment, and she hesitated for a second, but then she pushed a button and brought the phone to her ear.
"Hey," she answered in an affectedly casual tone which indicated to Lauren that it wasn't Kenzi on the other end of the phone. "Okay ... ... would it even be open now ... oh, well that's good ... I'm not home ... good guess ... why, do you want to talk to her ... there's no point in that ... don't ... I'm not doing this right now ... ...fine ... I will, thank you ... yeah, if you're lucky," Bo muttered irritably and then clicked off the phone.
"Dyson?" Lauren asked already knowing the answer to her question.
Bo nodded and then shoved her phone back into her jacket pocket.
"He wants my help on a case," Bo explained turning back towards Lauren as she headed back over to the couch.
"Are you leaving?" Lauren asked, trying to control the disappointment in her voice though she suspected that she mostly failed at it.
"No," Bo replied stopping by the side of the couch before bending down to lift up the edge of the quilt, motioning for Lauren to clear room for her so that she could slip in and take up her former position.
"Are you sure?" Lauren asked even though the last thing she wanted was Bo leaving her arms to spend the night with Dyson. "If you think he needs your help you can go. I'm not one of those girls," Lauren continued softly, even though in her heart she was feeling distinctly like one of those girls and was having visions of clawing at Dyson's face with her nails.
"There's nothing to be done tonight," Bo said as Lauren settled back down against her. "He was just calling to see if I could go with him in the morning. He only suggested doing some reconnaissance when I told him I wasn't home."
"Oh," Lauren murmured, not trusting herself to say more as varying emotions swirled chaotically around inside of her.
The mention of Dyson always did that to her. Bo didn't mention him much around her, but she knew that they spent a considerable about of time working together. She was uncertain whether they were still sleeping together for recreational or healing purposes, and since things between her and Bo had been rather delicate since their reconciliation she hadn't wanted to rock the boat by asking. She did wonder though, a lot.
"You're upset," Bo sighed a bit irritably a minute later.
"I'm not," Lauren responded pressing her lips to Bo's breastbone, but after she spoke her body remained tense and the silence between them became uncomfortable.
"We're just friends with occasional healing benefits. I'm not dating him," Bo said awkwardly a little while later when Lauren continued to brood. "We're not like that."
"Like what?" Lauren asked feeling the vice-like clamping on her heart lessen a little bit though she was still tense and anxious.
"Like this," Bo said, running her fingers through Lauren's hair before allowing her hand to trail gently down the blonde's back as she leaned down and brought their lips together in a light, sweet kiss.
She had shared her body with Dyson almost as soon as they met, but she had never been able to open up to him about her feelings the same way she did with Lauren. She trusted Dyson, she loved him, but it was a different sort of relationship to the one she had with Lauren. Dyson gave his body to her freely, but he had always been hesitant to share his feelings and the other parts of his life with her. There was a protective shell around his heart that she had never been able to penetrate, and after a while she had given up trying and instead simply shielded her heart as well.
It was Lauren she had given the most vulnerable part of herself to. It was Lauren that she talked to about things that were really important to her. It was Lauren she shared her thoughts, fears, and feelings with as they worked together on developing her ability to control her hunger. Her relationship with Lauren was, and always had been, intimate in a way that her relationship with Dyson had not been, and that had never been clearer to Bo than after the night she had stormed out of her house leaving Lauren behind clutching her sheets to her body.
After That Night she had sought out Dyson, hoping that his ability to heal her would work on emotional wounds as well as physical ones, but while Dyson had been able meet her body's needs, he hadn't been able to fill the empty place in her heart that Lauren had previously occupied. The pain had remained in her heart, and that aching in her chest, that longing for the intimacy that they had once had was what had eventually brought her to Lauren's doorstep weeks ago.
"I need him sometimes, but I don't ... I mean, I care about him. He's my friend. But it's not the same with him as it is with you," Bo continued struggling to express what she was feeling in words.
"It's not?" Lauren asked softly, hopefully as she looked up into Bo's face.
Bo shook her head and dropped her eyes from Lauren's as a faint blush touched her cheeks.
"No. This," Bo whispered a few seconds later as she tightened her arms around Lauren and leaned down to kiss her forehead, "is just for us," she continued softly. "You know I can't promise you that I'll never have sex with someone else, but I can promise that you're the only one I want to snuggle with."
"Yeah?" Lauren asked smiling as Bo finally brought her eyes back to Lauren's face.
"Yeah," Bo whispered, unable to help the small smile that touched her lips as Lauren grinned at her.
Lauren's hand drifted up to Bo's cheek and she ran her fingers over the soft skin affectionately for a moment before she shimmied up Bo's body so that they were nose to nose, then she leaned forward and brought their lips together.
She would have liked it if she could have been everything that Bo needed, but that wasn't the case and she accepted that. Bo could not get the energy that she needed to heal from serious injuries from her, and there was no question about Bo waiting for time to heal her. Lauren was also aware that as a human, she didn't recover from feeding quickly enough for Bo to get the energy she needed on a long term basis to live from her either, which meant that Bo would have to continue seducing and feeding off of others to stay healthy.
It was difficult for Lauren knowing this. It was hard for her, understanding that Bo's nature would never allow for Bo to be Lauren's and only Lauren's the way that Lauren was Bo's and only Bo's – even if she hadn't told the brunette that yet. But, as Bo nuzzled her face into Lauren's neck and tightened her arms around Lauren, as if the loss of her might actually kill Bo, Lauren knew that this was enough. For a succubus what Bo had just promised, what she wanted for them, was a major commitment.
"I have no idea what's happening in this movie," Bo breathed out into the warm nook of Lauren's neck before her lips began to trail kisses across the soft, salty flesh once more.
"Me either," Lauren said laughing lightly, her hand automatically lifting so that she could tangle her fingers in Bo's dark hair, encouraging the succubus to keep her talented mouth doing exactly what it was doing.
"Do you want to rewind it?" Bo asked though it was clear from her tone that she didn't give a shit about the movie.
"No," Lauren murmured as Bo's hands began to trail over her upper thighs and hip.
She didn't give a shit about the movie either.
"Do you want to go to bed?" Bo asked hopefully, pulling back from Lauren's skin enough that she could see the doctor's face. "We'll go slowly this time," she promised, knowing that she couldn't risk feeding off of Lauren any more that night.
"Okay," Lauren breathed out smiling, a rush of desire traveling through her when Bo's expression turned from being hopeful and inquisitive to hungry and eager.
Lauren suspected that she wasn't going to be able to get out of bed until at least noon the next day, but as Bo gallantly scooped her up into her arms and began to make her way towards the stairs, Lauren wrapped her arms around Bo's neck and relaxed into her against her, perfectly content with the idea of wasting half the day away in bed with Bo.
Comments are always welcome and very much appreciated. Feedback sustains starving femslashers, especially when canon is being so mean ;)