You want to know what sucks? I mean, really sucks? I'll give you a hint. It starts with my and ends with life. Yeah, it does.
Why, you may ask?
Well, for starters, my parents have suddenly decided they're divorcing because they simply 'don't mesh like they used to'. What the hell does that even mean? Does it mean click or something? And, if so, then why not just say that?
Adults are weird.
Enough of me stating the obvious, we need to get back on subject. Now, they want me to decide who I want to live with. Really. Me, Katie Bell, the procrastinator, the girl who once burnt the house down -well, almost. Actually, I just made the smoke detector go off after burning my toast but in my book, that counts.
But, more importantly, the girl who cannot make her mind up to save her life. They are going to regret ever letting me chose.
I mean, screw 'it's her life, her choice'! You're parents! You are supposed to be controlling and evil and plotting my downfall! Get with the program people!
Who the freaking heck am I gonna chose? It's hell living with the both of them. So I'm either stuck with my mum or my dad. How do you chose between your own flesh and blood? Between you're OCD mum or you're dad, who's just plain weird – and a bit smelly.
This really bites.
Why can't they just let me stay with Alicia or Angelina during the summer? Why would they want me around anyway? I'm just a walking, talking catastrophe. I'm like that dude that turns everything he touches to gold, but instead of gold, I destroy everything I touch.
Nooo, they say. You need parental guidance, they say, ignoring me when I tell them I've never had 'parental guidance'. What ever that is.
My fifteen year old heart can't handle this.
Oh, and while worrying who I'm going to live with – I've gotta chose by March, I'm told- Alicia, one of my best friends, tells me she's building a bomb.' "Not one that'll destroy the earth or anything" she says, smiling brightly. "Just one that'll destroy Kitty." She says to me, talking about our room-mate's pesky cat who loves to leave us 'surprises' on our pillows.
Once, I was so exhausted after Wood had worked the quidditch team so hard I still swear it was illegal, I just crashed on my bed, without looking at my pillow. I woke up to nasty cat poop in my beautiful wavy hair. It was obviously disgusting and I threw up twice after that.
I still check my pillows –and the rest of my bed- for cat poo now.
Anyways, I hate that cat as much as the next person, but blowing him up? I mean, really? I'm starting to worry about Ali's sanity now. Ange and I have been talking and we've decided she's lost it.
I asked her, "Isn't blowing him up a little.. oh I don't know, insane?" but she just giggled like mad and waved her hand like it was nothing.
"What else am I going to do? It's not called 'destroying' him for nothing." She says, as if it's nothing.
Yep, she's officially gone insane. I'm going to look up some mental institutions nearby for her parents to look at and throw her in. What are best friends for?
Back to Kitty. Who the hell is mental enough to name their cat Kitty? I mean, we all know it's a cat. Obviously! God! I really hate what's-her-face… I don't recall her name.
Honestly, I kind of wish she'd blow our roommate up instead.
It rid the world –and us- of her annoying, high, nasal voice, her constant nagging –"clean you your side of this room!" "Do your homework!" "You need to study!" "Get that slimy thing away from me!"- It's like living with your mother.
Oh, and the slimy thing mentioned above is my pet lizard, Blue. He's awesome! And not an annoying cat that lives for pissing people off. That's my favorite thing about him.
I really love Blue. My lizard, not the color.
I really hate Kyle, my ex-boyfriend. He dumped me. For another guy. I've never felt so pathetic in my entire life. It seemed like I had turned him. That's what everyone thinks, anyway, and now I can't get a date because all the straight guys are scared I'll turn them too.
I didn't turn Kyle into anything, though. He admitted he was using me as a cover and that he suddenly got the inspiration to come out from some Canadian show, Degrassi. I get this feeling he was lying to make me feel better.
I'm not sure what I believe, so in my mind, I dumped him.
Hey! I'm an emotional wreck, let me pretend I wasn't dumped for a dude, please.
God, I'm almost as pathetic as my mum's cooking. Almost.
Oh! And let's not forget the most important reason my life sucks.
I'm in love with Fred Weasley.
Yeah, I'm screwed.
Note: No offence meant to people with cats named 'Kitty' or gay people. Hope you liked the new and improved first chapter of LLaOAT. Sorry it's taken so long to re-do this, but I'm back and I've got some ideas.
Also, the next chapter will be completely different, so you should re-read it.
Disclamier: I don't own Harry Potter.