The Ups and Downs [Of a Crack Commando Unit]
There are times, when he's clutching the edge of his seat, listening to the running commentary and seeing flashes of his life when he blinks, that he thinks he should've just gone for a competent pilot. For all Murdock's ability and skill, the insanity might be what kills them all, and Hannibal envies B.A his unconscious state.
"There is no wing! You've lost a damn wing!" Face is right beside the window, getting the best view of their currently one winged plane as it tilts to the side, shakes through the air and plummets towards the ground.
"It's not lost when you know where it is."
"Yeah? Well it's in the ocean, where we're about to be!" Yes, a competent pilot would've been fine. Someone who could fly them in and out of situations rather than barrel roll and loop-de-loop their way into trouble. Hannibal almost feels guilty that he's probably shaved ten years off Face's life with this one incident.
"Captain," there's a warning tone in his voice, and usually it's enough to get Murdock focused. But this appears to be one of the rare occasions where Murdock is immersed in whatever brand of crazy has taken over.
"There's a mountain, there's a fucking mountain!" And with two wings it would be easy, but they have one and the air craft tilts and wobbles and it feels like it's falling apart around them and maybe part of the debris will destroy the pursuing craft.
"Hold on to you knickers, we're going in." Hannibal clenches his fists tighter and listens to Face's yell -at least he's still alive if he can hear it.
More often than not, B.A doesn't start fights. He just finishes them. The unfortunate incident occurs on the road however, and rather than B.A just putting his fist through someone's face, theirs an all out drag war through the dusty streets that B.A doesn't know as well as he thinks.
They've lost the bumper and the left side mirror, Face and Murdock brace themselves in the back of the car and Hannibal is holding his belt tight and pressing his knee into the dash to keep himself in place.
B.A has thick skin, B.A can take most insults with a snort and a clench of his fists. Insult his driving, well, then apparently it's alright to almost drive his team off a cliff in order to prove himself.
They've weaved and skidded and slid through so many streets and almost come off the road more times than Hannibal can count, but B.A slides to a stop at the end of the so called track first, getting a cheer from the on lookers and the big guy has a smug grin on his face because naturally, he know all along.
Face is the first to speak, ignoring B.A's grinning face and letting go of Murdock's shoulder, "I think I'm gonna hurl." And Face falls out of the door before everyone gets a second viewing of his lunch and pukes loudly.
"What? Ain't nothing wrong with that." Hannibal can't pry his fingers away from his belt to light his cigar.
When Hannibal makes a plan, he has full faith in Face's ability to get what is needed for the plan. He has so much faith that he doesn't think twice about how hard something might be to get, because Face always comes through. There have been times where Face has managed to find the strangest of items; hair rollers, a fishing net, an inflatable life raft, a boneless rubber chicken, a billy goat, and find them in the most unusual of places; in the middle of a jungle, in Greenland, in the middle of Russia, on base, on the street in some city on some foreign country.
It never ceases to amaze Hannibal the level of Face's skill.
What does amaze Hannibal is how Face acquires these things, and just what in the world possessed the kid to scam Big Robbie Knives out of a four thousand dollar limo, and let B.A 'remodel' it to suit their needs. It's fairly safe to say that Big Robbie isn't at all pleased with the state of his car, and not even Face's explaining that now it's fire proof, bullet proof, gas proof, bomb proof and practically chainsaw proof, is helping matters at all.
"Look at it this way, when Marcia finds out you're boning Pamela you've got your very own safe house on wheels." The fact that Face actually calls Big Robbie out on his sleeping around in front of all of Big Robbie's lackey's tells Hannibal that the kid is as crazy as Murdock. He's convinced that they're going to have to pull Face out of there before there are the trademarked 'Knives' in the kids gut.
At least until Big Robbie claps Face on the back and laughs a big, deep, belly rolling laugh. Face just grins.
The first time Face and Murdock get a little over zealous on a mission, they're hooked up to recording equipment and there are more microphones in the car than Hannibal knows they could have. He shouldn't really be surprised. It's stake out duty, and Face and Murdock have the worst attention spans ever and succumb to boredom at the drop of a hat.
He realises his mistake a little too late.
"You can't put your foot there."
"Artemus is constructing his time machine, that's where the date input will go, if your foot is sitting there it might get sucked into the portal."
"Okay, so where can I put my foot?"
"The floor?" It's bad when Murdock is the voice of reason, and even worse when Hannibal hears that low, silky tone in Face's voice.
"What if I had other ideas?" There's a lot of shifting and Hannibal wishes he'd given the pair of them a receiver so that he could tell them to stop messing around.
"Oh. Oh, oh Facey," Hannibal rubs his hand over his face, sighing slightly as he hears what he can only come to think of as Face and Murdock making out. "What- oh, shit, what about the-the-the oh, my God, do that again." Hannibal isn't squirming in his seat, he isn't picturing just what the pair of them must look like and he most definitely is not wishing there were cameras installed with the microphones. "The target, we need to watch for the target."
"Can you see the door?"
"Well, you pay attention, I'll see to the other matters."
"Oh, my God, you devil you." Hannibal drops the headphones and leaves the room, B.A gives him a strange look as he goes directly for the bathroom but doesn't say anything.
"Of course, there was the time your mother wrote, said she couldn't stop thinking abo-" the punch comes with a sickening crunch and blood spills over the floor, and Face actually laughs. Hannibal knocks his head back against the wall of his cell, because when he said 'distract them' this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.
"Hey, Faceman, you remember when she was so damn nasty, all those things she said about that kinky little motel place with the mirrors on the ceiling?" Murdock takes a knee to the gut and the assholes are getting rougher and Hannibal is thinking his plan through again and trying to work out how the hell they're meant to get out of there.
"Only problem is she smells like rotten fish." It takes six punches before B.A even blinks and the idiot who punched him is rubbing his fist from the attempt.
"Now, now, some people think that it's a turn on. I hear it runs in the family." Face spits more blood to the floor, right as he takes a foot to the face and his chair topples over, knocking him to the ground. "Oh, that's gonna smart in the morning."
Hannibal is convinced he is really the sane one of the group.
all the other times;
He's holding his side, pretty sure that something has cracked or broken or ruptured, but B.A's at his side and half carrying him while Face brings up the rear. What surprises Hannibal is the tank, the tank that is sitting in the middle of the enemy camp, brick and wall and fence crumpled around it and a nice big 'Eat Pork or Die' spray painted on the side.
The noise of the chopper comes just as they reach what appears to be housing buildings and while Hannibal watches his expert pilot bring the bird to hover right beside the ground, tilted just enough to force the enemy troops to back off, he can hear B.A and Face argue about the rest of the mission.
In the end, Face draws B.A's attention by shooting someone in the foot while glaring at his team-mate all the while bringing a syringe up to B.A's neck on the other side. It's a fluid movement that has Face strapping B.A into the seat beside Hannibal before climbing into the cockpit with Murdock and giving the pilot a thumbs up.
Murdock flies the chopper through the streets, narrowly missing cars and buildings with each turn while Face pulls out a cylinder and a small remote detonator from his pocket. "Boss?" Hannibal realises that Face has brought his post-mission cigar with him, and takes it with a grin.
Face grins back and as Murdock starts to ascend, he flips the switch and Hannibal looks out the side of the helicopter to watch the encampment he's just been extracted from blow up with a series of high explosive charges.
Murdock and Face high five, and Hannibal glances towards a sleeping -almost smiling, B.A. He lights his cigar and watches the mayhem below him, the mayhem his crazy, insane and utterly brilliant team constructed.
"I love it when a plan comes together." He couldn't plan a better team than this.
Disclaimer: The A-Team does not belong to me. They belong to themselves and their creators. No money was made from this.