A/N: Oh sweet Hades. I didn't write this author's note until I finished, because I wanted everything to be real. This is done. The last chapter. And…I will never be able to thank each and every one of you readers for being faithful to this story despite my tendency to forget to update. I love all of you so much and every review makes my heart skip a beat. Thank you all for every kind word, every review, every favorite, every alert. I adore writing, and you guys made me feel like what I was doing is worth it. It feels weird to know this is over, but I think it is a fitting time. Endings bring about beginnings and all that jazz. I have all of you to thank for the success this fic has gained. Again, thank you.
This is set the latest of all of Illogical and Stupid, which I thought would be fitting for the final chapter. It's pretty fluffly : P
I can't wait to read Son of Neptune, and then bring you guys some more lovely Percabeth (and hopefully Rico) stories.
So, for the last time my Illogical and Stupid readers, thank you.
Read, review, but as always, I hope you enjoy the final chapter of Illogical and Stupid.
"Okay honey!" I called to Callie as she went to walk to the bus stop. "B-be safe! Don't let any of the big kids bully you at the bus stop! Remember to look both ways before – "
"Mommy – I mean, Mom!" said Callie, rolling her eyes. "I'm FINE. I'm seven years old now, I can walk to the bus stop on my own."
I sighed, and picked Malcolm up so he could wave goodbye to his big sister. "Say bye to Callie, Mal," I said.
"Bye, Cow!" he said, waving and grinning. I rolled my eyes.
"Malcolm, you are two years old, I think you're old enough to be able to pronounce your sister's name right. Try that again, please."
He sighed, taking after me with that look of indignant disapproval. "Bye, Cal!"
"Thank you, sweetie."
Callie walked to the bus stop, kicking a couple of rocks on her way and splashing in a couple of puddles, just like I had asked her not to.
She was SO Percy's daughter.
For a few seconds I heard her singing as she walked down the driveway, and then I turned around with my son in my arms and let her continue on her own.
It was Callie's last day of first grade. She'd been seven for six months now – she was nearly eight. It was about time I let her grow up a little and walk the quarter mile down to the bus stop on her own. Also, I could see her for the entirety of her walk there and as she stood at the stop, so I wasn't actually that nervous.
"Here, Malcolm," I said, setting him on the ground. "Go find Daddy and throw some mud in his face for me?"
He clapped his chubby little two-year-old hands together in front of me. "YAY!" he shouted, "go bug daddy!" He sprinted – well waddled, I guess – out our back door into our yard.
Percy had decided it was a great idea to build a fountain behind our house, because he wanted to become Mr. Fix-it and he was jealous that I was the one building a tree house for Callie and Malcolm. At least, that's my take on it. He just said that he got bored with working on the shed and decided on a new project.
I grinned as I peered out the window at my boys out by the fountain. Malcolm had jumped onto Percy's back, and Percy hit his head on the ledge.
I didn't stop laughing until I got to the kitchen, when I brought out the baking materials for Percy so that he could make Malcolm breakfast when I went to dinner. He wasn't on duty that day at the fire department (his days off were rarely the weekends) so I was giving him breakfast duty. I had to get to work.
"I'm heading out, boys!" I called out the window as I grabbed my suitcase and my jacket. "I will see you two later!"
Stepping out the door, however, I dropped my suitcase and screamed. "PERCY GET OVER HERE NOW!"
Someone had found Callie. And I was simply going to have to cut a bitch.
As I was running, I hiked up my skirt to reveal the knife I kept strapped to me at all times. "GET AWAY FROM HER!" I shouted at the Scythian dracaena came toward my daughter. Then I got a little confused as I realized that Callie was doing pretty well on her own.
"Get away from me, you slimy faced freak!" she shouted, hitting her with a relatively large stick Callie must have found on the ground.
"Stay the hell away from my daughter!" shouted Percy. He sounded as if he was running right behind me.
"Go get her, Daddy!" said…
"You brought MALCOLM?" I shouted back to him.
"I had to!" replied Percy. "I wasn't going to leave him alone!"
I reached the monster and stepped between Callie and the dracaena. "Callie, stand behind me," I began, glaring at the monster who was hissing at me, "and when your father gets here, take Malcolm and get home quickly. We'll take care of this."
"Want my stick, Mommy?" she asked as I brandished my knife in the monster's face.
"No, honey," I said, a little exasperated. "Just go back with you –"
"You touch my family you are DONE!" shouted Percy, arriving behind me.
Percy and I strode up to the monster, him flashing Riptide dangerously.
"May I?" I asked, glaring.
"As you wish," said Percy.
The duel was maybe three seconds. She came toward me and I managed to take her out with a kick to the chest. Percy put a foot on her chest as she went to get up, and I kneeled next to her, and I had my knife at her throat in moments. "Now," I said, glaring down at her. "You have thirty seconds to explain why you are coming after our daughter. Go."
"She is the daughter," wheezed the dracaena, "of two of the most powerful half bloods in the world. She must be stopped."
"Who sent you?" I asked, glaring down at her.
"Who?" thundered Percy, Riptide joining my knife.
"Echidna has heard a prophecy," the dracaena said quietly, "of the one to defeat her for once and for all, to throw her to Tartarus with Kronos. Yours is the child."
Percy and I exchanged a terrified look. "She won't…"
"It will," said the dracaena. A hideous grin spread across her face. "Now let me be."
"Not a chance," said Percy. We were showered with monster dust as Percy slashed the throat of the monster, and I was a little miffed at the state of my clothing.
"Does that count as yours or mine?" I asked. "Because I knocked her over but you killed her."
Percy shrugged. "No idea," he said, recapping Riptide. "But we might want to explain things to Callie."
"I'll call work and tell them I will not be there."
Percy parked the car in front of Thalia's Pine, and our family walked down to the Big House. Now it was painted a very bright yellow color, and I wasn't exactly sure if it was the right color choice, but hey, I didn't live at camp anymore.
"I swear," I said, striding down the hill. "I am going to kick Chiron's horsey butt for not telling us about this sooner. She's our DAUGHTER! We should probably be the first to find out that there's some prophecy about her."
Percy nodded, shifting Malcolm in his arms. "I'm actually kind of interested to hear it – maybe it could be reinterpreted?"
I nodded. "Yeah," I said, "reinterpreted. Totally. Maybe it's any daughter of two half bloods?"
Percy nodded like a bobble head. "Yeah, she's fine."
The two of us looked at Callie, doing somersaults down the hill and kicking off her shoes to do cartwheels in the grass.
"She's too young to have to deal with this," I muttered, half to myself.
Percy looked at me. "Hey, she's got us for parents. What could go wrong?"
"Do you really want an answer to that?" asked a tall, hulking man who came up to us with a grin on his face.
"Uncle Nicky!" shouted Malcolm, reaching his arms up to Nico. Percy laughed.
"Nicky!" said Percy. "Oh, man, calling you that forever now."
"Nee-coh," said Nico as he placed my son on his shoulders. "Nee-coh. Can you say that?"
Rachel popped up behind him, holding Callie's hand. "The name suits you, Nicky."
Nico rolled his eyes at her. "Oh shut up."
Percy and I turned to glare at Rachel. "Explain yourself," I said in a deadly tone.
"Now, please," said Percy in the same way.
Rachel's eyes widened. "Uh…Let's go to the Big House," she said, still holding Callie's hand. "Shall we?"
I nodded. "Rachel, my dear, you have some serious explaining to do."
The six of us made our way to the Big House, and Nico handed Malcolm to me as we walked in, as he couldn't clear the doorway with the toddler on his shoulders.
Sitting down at the table, Callie let go of Rachel's hand and climbed into Percy's lap. Nico let out a snort of laughter as she kneed Percy in the groin.
"Percy!" said Chiron. "Annabeth! And the kids," he said, waving to our children. "Nice to see you."
"Explain this prophecy, please," I said, not beating around the bush.
"I meant to call you two," said Rachel, dropping her head onto the table. "It happened LAST NIGHT! And I was –" she and Nico shared a look that did not make me comfortable. " – busy."
"Okay," said Percy, putting his hands over Callie's ears. "None of that, Rachel, keep this rated G."
"We weren't –"
"Well, Nico, it's not my fault."
"I know, but –"
"And you two are shutting up now," I said, pressing my hands over Malcolm's ears. "How did Echidna find out?"
Chiron shrugged. "I honestly don't know. Some of the older monsters have a sixth sense when someone suggests they'll be murdered."
"More importantly," said Percy, holding Callie closer to him,"what did the prophecy say?"
Rachel and Chiron exchanged a look. "Um, actually," said Chiron. "You might want to wait for some of the people in here, um…"
Percy and I exchanged a look. "Hey, sweetie!" I said to Callie. "Want to go play with some of the fun kids here?"
"I'm little," she said in a whisper. "They don't like little kids."
"Who's 'they'?" Percy asked, confused.
"Actually," said Chiron. "There's someone here who you probably should meet." He walked out the front door and came back with a young girl next to him with a head of very dark, very thick black hair.
"Oh, this should be good," said Nico with a grin.
"So," said Chiron, "Percy, this is someone you probably would want to meet."
The girl looked up from where she was staring at her shoes, and the bright sea-green eyes startled me. They were the same as Malcolm's. And as Percy's.
"Hi," she said with a smile. "I'm Angela."
"Oh my god," said Percy, jaw dropping. "You're…"
"You're Percy, right?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "I think you're my brother."
My eyes widened. Another new Poseidon child? Sure, there had been Brighton, who Percy found out about on his twenty first birthday, but a third?
"Yeah, I looked like that when I found out about who exactly my family was too," said Angela with a grin.
Callie shyly looked up from where she had buried herself in Percy's shirt. "Hi," she said softly. "You look like my daddy."
Angela and Percy exchanged a look, then laughed, the same exact tone, just in a different octave. "It's sort of hard to explain," said Angela. "But I've been told I might have babysitting duties?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "How old are you?"
"Just turned thirteen a week ago," she said. "That's when I ended up here."
"Okay," I said, conceding. "Callie," I said, turning my little girl, "do you want to hang out with Angela? She can show you and Malcolm around."
"It'll be fun!" added Percy, shifting her so she had to stand up.
Callie looked from me to Percy to Angela, and then walked over to me and nodded. "Come, Malcolm," she said, heaving her brother off my lap. "Let's go play!"
You didn't need to tell Malcolm that twice. He always had quite the adorable reaction to the word "play." Before I knew it the three of them were going off out the door.
"Don't worry," said Chiron. "Any problems, Grover's outside somewhere with Juniper and his kids – he'll make sure everything's all right."
I nodded. "Now prophecy."
Rachel took a deep breath and began the prophecy, a perfect, practiced cadence,
"The union of two who have saved the world,
Will create a warrior quarter blood girl,
The first of her kind will defeat the mother,
Of the Chimera, with help from one other,
The granddaughter of strategy, warrior brave,
The granddaughter of sea, the child of the saved."
"That could be anyone," quipped Nico, kicking his feet up on the table.
Percy glared at him. "Shut up, Casper the Friendly Ghost. No kidding about my daughter."
Chiron put up a hand. Even though it had been nearly twenty years, all of us still shut up whenever he was about to talk. "She should be safe as long as you don't leave her alone," said Chiron. "No monster will mess with her when you two are around. We were wondering, though, if the two of you would like Callie to be the beta tester for children of demigods. There haven't been many, and Callie's the first child of a son of Poseidon in centuries, so we might need to figure out how to train her so she's protected."
I exchanged a glance with Percy. "Want to?" I asked, shrugging. "I mean, we need to make sure she's safe at all times, and that she knows how to protect herself."
Percy nodded. "But not overnight for more than a weekend. I am perfectly fine with driving for two hours to drop her off Friday and two hours to pick her up Sunday. I don't want my seven-year-old away from me the entire summer."
Every once in a while Percy would say something that made my heart swell. I had no idea how it happened, but he might just be the best father on the planet. Our children were lucky. "My feelings exactly," I replied. We turned back to Chiron. "We'll have to talk to her," I began, "but that sounds like a good idea."
Chiron had to discuss things with Mr. D, who at the moment was working on some of the grass in the field, but as of that moment it looked like that's how things were going to go.
Nico, Rachel, Percy and I all walked out of the Big House. "So," I said. "Now that all of that is over," I said. "What's new with you two?"
Rachel grinned and tapped her fingers against her chin. "Oh, I don't know," she said in a singsong tone. "We found a rat in our apartment, my dad bought a new car, Nico and I got engaged, Nico's dad made him –"
"YOU TWO GOT WHAT?" Percy and I shouted. The two of us tackled them with hugs. "That's wonderful!" I said.
Rachel grinned. "Yeah, it took some convincing, but Apollo finally agreed that as long as we kept the 'maiden' part of the deal, we'd be fine."
"And even that he said we could negotiate," said Nico with a lecherous wink.
"You are ridiculous," I said. "Absolutely ridiculous."
The four of us chatted for a little while, and then Rachel and Nico had to go work on "cleaning up the Hades cabin." Yeah right.
Percy turned to me and pressed a kiss to my temple. "So it looks like our little girl is going to be a monster killer after all," he said in a hushed tone.
I nodded and took his hand. "She'll be a member of Camp Half Blood, just like us."
Before I noticed where my feet were taking me, I realized that we had arrived at the dock where Percy and I had first kissed.
"That was one of the best days of my life," said Percy. Every once in a while it felt like Percy read my mind, like he knew exactly what I was thinking about. After all, I wasn't the hardet person to read. "After our wedding, and Callie and Malcolm's births and everything." He pressed a small kiss to my lips. "But that day is way up there."
I nodded. "For me, too."
We got distracted, lost in each other for a moment as we kissed, feeling the same thrill as I did when we kissed here the first time. When we broke away, Percy said, "You know, you lived up to your promise."
"What do you mean?"
He pulled me close to him. "You never have made things easy for me."
I laughed. "Well," I said, "I am a woman of my word."
He pulled me into the water again, and we fell to the center of the lake, kissing for the second time in an air bubble. Percy and I never were the normal couple, but what we are, were, and always will be is perfect together.