Fandom: Criminal Minds/Doctor Who
Universe: Time of Your Life
Characters/Pairing: The Eleventh Doctor, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid
Summary: If Emily Prentiss is going to travel through space and time with an eccentric genius, then she doesn't want to do it alone.
Author's Note: Follows the Doctor Who segment in Next Place, but reading it isn't necessary for understanding this one.
'My name is the Doctor, I travel through space and time, stopping for adventure, and occasionally…lunch,' he told her. 'I'd tell you not to do anything silly, like start a war, or fall in love with the King of Pegasus IX, but something tells me that you already know that.'
Part intergalactic pimp, part profiler, Emily thought.
'Good,' he said, clapping his hands together in a way that made him seem so much older than he looked, which considering everything else, wasn't exactly outside the realm of possibility. 'Any questions?'
'Can I bring a friend?'
He paused briefly, as if considering the question. 'Yes,' he said, eventually. 'Yes, you absolutely must bring a friend. Friend that's a boy, good. Boyfriend, even better.' He looked her in the eye. 'Is it a boyfriend?'
'No,' she told him. 'Is that a problem?'
'No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know yet. It's just that unrequited love seems to have become something of an issue of late, so it seems easier if you're otherwise distracted.'
She stared at him for a good few seconds. 'You're not really my type.'
'That's what they all say,' he said, disbelief evident in his voice. 'And then there's one near death experience, and suddenly they need to feel "alive again."'
'Maybe that says more about you than it does about them.'
The Doctor stared at her. 'Are you judging me?' he asked, and to anyone else he might have sounded indignant, but there was laughter in his eyes, and his lips were quivering just that slightest bit.
It's what I do, she almost said, but then stopped, because she didn't. Not anymore. Fortunately though, he didn't wait for an answer, jumping towards what she assumed was some kind of command console.
'Your friend,' he said, without looking up. 'Where does he live?'
'What, are you just going to crash-land in his driveway?'
'I don't crash-land,' he said indignantly. 'Not on purpose, anyway. Usually.' Emily raised an eyebrow, not quite believing his words. He pulled a lever, and the police box…the ship – whatever the hell it was – started to vibrate.
Then, there was a strange screeching sort of noise, as though the engine was revving. 'Is it supposed to make that sound?'
'Yes,' he said immediately. 'Well…no. It doesn't have to, but I like it better when it does. It gives it character.'
'A bright blue police box that's bigger on the inside and travels through time and space isn't enough character for you?'
He stared at her. 'You like to challenge authority, don't you?'
'Only when I think it needs challenging.'
'Well then.' The Doctor gestured towards the door. 'No time to waste.' He considered the point for a moment. 'Well, there is time to waste, but why would you want to? There's an entire universe out there, so for God's sake hurry up.'
Emily pushed open the TARDIS doors and stepped out into the night. It was a little chilly, which didn't quite seem right, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind anyway. As soon as she knocked on the door, though, it was evident that something was very, very wrong.
'Emily!' Spencer Reid said in surprise, as he opened the door. 'Are you alright? Where have you been?'
Emily blinked. 'Reid, what are you…?'
'No-one's heard from you for two weeks. We thought that you'd…' He let the sentence trail off, but she didn't need to words to know what he was thinking. After all, they dealt with missing persons every day, and it didn't always turn out so well.
She turned around, to find the Doctor, who looked almost sheepish. 'Two weeks?' she asked him, half-incredulous. 'You do know how to fly that thing, right?'
'Of course I do,' he answered. 'But like I said, she's been having some trouble lately.' Then, he added, in a tone that sounded almost non-sequitur, 'Silence will fall.'
'Emily, who is this guy? And what are you talking about?'
Emily grabbed his hand. 'Grab your stuff,' she said. 'I'll show you.'
Reid stared at the interior of the TARDIS for a long time before he said anything. 'This is…amazing,' he said finally. 'There's no current theory of physics that could explain this, but…It's in another dimension?' he queried, and the Doctor nodded, slightly surprised. 'Some theories of everything – in particular, String Theory, purport up to ten dimensions of space and time in order to fully reconcile the four fundamental forces,' he told Emily.
'Sure,' she said, not having understood a single word that he'd said.
'What does it do?' Reid asked excitedly. 'I mean…it's not just a box, right?' Apparently, he hadn't grasped the significance of the short conversation that Emily and the Doctor had shared not five minutes ago. The Doctor's expression, which had become crestfallen when he realized that Reid wasn't going to say "it's bigger on the inside," changed to one of glee, as it became apparent that something needed explaining.
'No!' he said, jumping up to the center console. 'It is not just a box. It is so much more than a box. It travels in space. It travels in time. It can take you anywhere, anywhen you could ever want to go. It is a key to the universe.'
Reid gave Emily a look, as if to say "Is he for real?"
She shrugged. 'Well, he made me disappear for two weeks, right? And it is bigger on the inside.'
'What kind of power source does it use?' Reid asked, letting his hand run along the console.
'Artron energy,' said the Doctor. 'Or the Eye of Harmony. Depending on how I'm feeling.'
'Is there a manual? Would I be able to read it?'
'Yes, there is a manual. No, you can't read it – I threw it into a supernova.'
Reid's face fell.
'Are you a Time Lord, Spencer Reid?' the Doctor asked, frowning. 'You're very…smart.'
'Humans are allowed to be smart,' Reid countered.
'Yes,' the Doctor agreed. 'It's just…the ones I usually come across aren't.'
Emily raised an eyebrow.
'Oh, don't get me wrong,' the Doctor said. 'You have sentience. You made fire, you can read, you can write. You have wonderful…bicycles. But you still don't quite have the mental capacity to understand the mysteries of the universe.' He looked at them both in turn. 'Really, though, where's the fun in that?'
Emily wasn't quite sure how to take those words. Before she had a chance to argue it, though, the Doctor had started pulling levers again.
'First trip, somewhere interesting, but maybe not too interesting. Human, but not too human. How does the Dionysius Cluster, 63rd century sound? Best seafood in a thousand galaxies, as long as you don't mind the wriggling.'
Emily gave Reid a look. 'You game?'
'I guess,' Reid shrugged. 'As long as we can come back afterwards and make sure that nobody thinks that we're dead.'
'Geronimo!' the Doctor said.