After-action Report

Today is a day that will live in infamy forever. A day where the psychlo race will remember that there will always be lesser beings who forget their place in the order of existence. A day where we remember our home...and how it ceased to be.

From what we can ascertain, the device that destroyed Psychlo was radioactive in nature, combining with our homeworld's atmospheric composition to produce a blast well beyond its initial yield (good thing uranium was never exposed on our home planet before, come to think of it). If one traces the ionic trail from the teleportation, we can theorize that the source lies in the Milky Way, specifically the Sol System. Of the nine planets (not eight, nine, as our superior intellects can fathom), the third is the only possibility, namely the only place of operations we had. No other planet or moon has been mined for gold, or any other mineral...which seems a bit strange, considering the hazards involved with working in a hostile environment.

I say "hostile," because clearly one-thousand years of slavery has yet to teach the man animals their rightful place. However, as feeble as they are, I must stress that they should not be underestimated. To reinforce this point, I have compiled the following pieces of information that should be made available to all military commanders:


Our main enemy are located on the planet's north-western continent. Apparently aliens always invaded this continent in human literature and film, from what we can ascertain, but we fail to see why. What's even stranger about the people of this land is that the accent of captured man animals seems to originate from a small island further east.


This is certainly an enigma. One-thousand cycles ago, we were able to defeat an entire human military in nine minutes. Yet it took a similar amount of time for the man animals to defeat our forces after receiving next to no training. Now granted, our own technology deployed at the time may have been inferior. After all, we had the ability to detect gold even in miniscule quantities in a mountain chain, yet never realized in a thousand years that tonnes of the material were stored in a place called Fort Knox. What's even more perplexing is that we never tracked the commandeered craft the humans used to reach this installation on our radar.

What's even more perplexing is the pristine state such human technology was in. Despite a thousand years of neglect, not only did such installations still have power, but its weapons and equipment were in perfect working order as well. But perhaps the hints were already cars still had tire pressure in them and original paint jobs, books could still be read and humans had developed a form of technology preventing styrofoam from degrading. As obviously inferior as this species is, we have clearly underestimated them.


Our kind, standing at nearly three metres tall (supposedly...the psychlos on Earth were much shorter for some reason) are of great physical as well as psychological standing. However, it appears that we may have underestimated man animal traits in both respective cases. Of course, it may have been comparative, since those stationed on Earth must have been out of their skull bones given the numerous oversights I have noted, but still...

Man animals must seem dumb...which is why our fellow psychlos never sought to teach them our language as they taught the human rebel leader, not comprehending that doing so en masse would make man animals better slaves. Clearly they had forgotten the war once fought with humanity, instead thinking that dogs were the more intelligent species (a trait that once again seems to be repeated in human invasion literature). Also, the security chief, Terl, apparently never asked how his man animal miners were able to produce gold bars without a nearby foundry. Simply put, those psychlos on that planet deserved the fate they recieved. The only downside is that their idiocy cost us our homeworld.

Now for human intelligence. Despite a millennium of regression, the rebels that fought against our forces were more intelligent than most other species. Able to learn how to use weapons and fly in two weeks, to reacquaint themselves with their written language, to develop a plan and execute it whilst their soldiers a thousand years ago, after training for years, failed miserably. How this development in the man animal brain could have occurred is unknown.


There is of course the budget to consider. Psychlos are understandably appalled by our poor showing on Earth, wondering whether a sequel invasion could be justified. I, however, believe that we should correct the mistakes of the past, to...oh, wait a minute.

Everything's on an angle on that planet. Therefore, invasion is impossible.