Hi. This is the first time I've ever wrote a fanfition (I did imagine them, but never actually wrote them and writing is totally different from just telling the story in your mind) so please don't think too harsh about it... Anyway, I DO NOT own any of the characters, they are all Cassandra Clare's.
I'm not going to tell you that you have to write a review, I'll just be happy if someone actually reads the story. But I'll be happy for any reviews.
It is a one-shot and I planned it as a one-shot so there won't be any continuations... One more thing... careful, character death at the end!
I hope you enjoy it.
Even before he knew were he was, he could feel his head throbbing painfully. William Herondale slowly opened his eyes. He was lying on the floor of his room, his head only inches away from an empty whisky bottle. This spoke for everything. He gritted his teeth and slowly raised himself into a sitting position. He didn't even need to search in his memory to know what had happened last night. Everything was her fault. No, it wasn't, he corrected himself hastily. It was his own doing, he couldn't blame it on her. It was his and his fault only.
It was since that fateful evening on the roof seven weeks ago that he had taken to real drinking. Before he just pretended that he was drinking, but not really doing it. He sensed that Jem knew that he was pretending but he never said anything about it. It took some practice, but now he could down almost half a bottle of whisky before being completely wasted. Normally he wouldn't have done it, but this time he had a good reason. He was trying to drive all the thoughts of her out of his head. Her. She hadn't spoken to him from the incident on the roof and he didn't blame her. She had taken a refuge in Jem who was kind to her all the time, not anything else like Will was. Will didn't blame her. And now thoughts about her, about what he could've done differently were driving him crazy. Theresa, Tessa, Tess. He remembered how he had held her in his arms, how he felt when he realized that she wasn't dead, how suddenly everything in the world had bright colours again… And then she whispered his name. "Will!" And suddenly everything was black and white again and possibly even sadder, even gloomier and even harder to bear than before. Because once she murmured his name, he remembered who he was and that he couldn't afford having luxuries like someone whom he loved and who loved him back. Not in this life. Not after what had happened. The memory sent searing pain through his whole body, starting in his heart and ending in the tips of his toes. He longed to hold her again, to look into those soft grey eyes, to have her smooth brown hair tickle him, to feel the closeness of her body, the thumping of her heart, the softness of her lips against his. But he knew he could never had them back, not only because he had chased them away in the harshest possible way but because he knew that they belonged to someone else now, to his best friend and parabatai, Jem. And the worst thing and the thing that hurt him the most was that he knew that Jem deserved them, unlike him. He knew that he wouldn't be able to bear it much longer. He knew that soon there would come a moment when it would all come crashing down on him and he knew that the moment was going to come very soon.
What he didn't know was that a storey lower a conversation, that would change his destiny if he heard it, was just taking place. And that the moment was even closer than he had thought.
Tessa was sitting, huddled, in one of the armchairs in the library, reading A Tale of Two Cities. It was a long time since she had read it last and was longing to read it again, but was afraid that it would bring back unwanted memories of the argument she had with him… But finally, after seven weeks, she couldn't resist anymore. She was so absorbed in the book that she hadn't heard the footsteps entering the library and was startled by the voice that called out her name softly.
"Tessa!" For only a tenth of a second, a hope sprang up inside her, a hope that it would be someone… But then she lifted her head and saw Jem standing in front of her, a serious expression on his face. Disappointment didn't even show on her face anymore.
"Tessa, we need to talk!"
"About Will." Tessa frowned.
"Yes. He… he has been drinking again." Jem leaned towards her and carefully forced the book out of her hands, flinging it onto the coffee table. "Tessa, I know you don't want to listen to me, but I beg you! We have to help him! He is going to destroy himself if he keeps going on like this and he is going to destroy us with him. Because, admit it or not, neither of us can imagine life without him," Tessa's look said 'And what am I supposed to do with it?' but Jem didn't wait for an answer. "Tessa, you're the only one who can help him. I know he hurt you, but I also know you love him, even though you try to hide it from me. Tessa, don't say anything! You think I can't see the flicker of disappointment every time I call your name and you raise your head? Tessa, I'm not stupid! I know you don't love me and-"
"That's not true I do love you, Jem!"
"But in a different way than you love Will. I know, Tessa. And I also know that Will loves you. He loves you more than anyone he has ever loved before, and I know because I can see it on him. He has never looked at anyone like he looks at you, but there is something that's keeping him from you. It has haunted him from the time he came to the Institute and he has never told anyone. And he is drinking himself to death. I love you, Tessa and I love Will. I will die soon and-"
"Don't say that, Jem! Maybe-"
"No, Tessa, there is no cure. I know that I would never be able to keep you as happy as Will would. And I also know that you will keep Will happy more than anyone else. If it means that two people whom I love will be happy together, than I'm willing to take the sacrifice of losing one of them. I won't suffer long. Tessa, you have to go to Will. You have to forgive him what he said and did and convince him to tell you everything! You have to-"
"That won't be necessary," said a voice. Charlotte emerged from the shadows. "We are taking matters into our own hands!"
Will frowned when he saw the gathering of people in the library. There was everyone: Charlotte, Henry, even Jessamine, Jem and Tessa… His heart leaped when he saw that they weren't sitting together holding hands. In fact, they weren't even sitting on the same side of the room… Maybe they had an argument, Will thought. No, these two never argued. His eyes involuntarily rested on her a second time. She was sitting in one of the armchairs, a book on her lap. He strained his eyes to see what book it was. A Tale of Two Cities. He recognized the golden lettering of the book that had passed through his hands so many times.
But his interest, seemingly momentous could last only a second if he wanted to keep his image. Elegant, handsome and never-caring. After taking in the scene, he continued his journey towards the cabinet of liquors. His hand was already on the handle, when he felt someone else's on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Jem.
"Get your hand off me!" he said through gritted teeth.
"William, it's barely eleven in the morning!"
"James, get your hand off me!" Will repeated. Jem sighed but did as he was told and returned to his place. Will poured himself a double and turned towards the room, leaning nonchalantly against the cabinet. He felt the gazes of his friends slowly pushing him down but he still managed to say quite lightly: "So what's this all about?"
Immediately Charlotte began speaking: "It can't carry on like this anymore, Will! Just because-" that was when the words she was practically screaming at him stopped making sense. And suddenly he felt this was the time. And he felt strangely lightened by it. What anybody thought didn't matter anymore. Not to him at least. They would have to resolve it without him. He shot a look at Tessa who was staring incredulously at Charlotte. She was beautiful. She was wearing a blue dress, the colour of the sky just before dawn. The colour of the dress magically accentuated the grey softness of her eyes. Her hair was knotted in a bun at the top of her hair. She was sitting gracefully, her back straight, her hands in her lap like a lady. If he hadn't felt it to be the time, he wouldn't have been able to take his gaze off her. But he felt it. With one swift movement of his arm, he threw the glass he was holding seemingly angrily against the wall. It collided with it and with a loud clatter shattered into a thousand pieces. Suddenly the whole room was quiet. Even Charlotte stopped talking. Everyone was staring at him. And with one last look at Tessa, he ran out of the door.
Tessa stared after Will for only a moment. Then she started out of the door after him. Charlotte's words were still ringing in her ears as she followed Will through the empty institute. "Just because Tessa chose Jem over you doesn't mean-" Had Charlotte been right? Did she really choose Jem over Will? NO, a voice in her head answered her. Of course she hadn't. With Jem, she felt happy, loved. When he touched her, she felt only the warmth of the touch. With Will it was different. When he touched her, she felt as if fire ran through her veins, burning her all over and increasing the sharpness of her feelings. With him, she felt safe, like nothing could ever harm her, like she was flying up and up and up but he was flying next to her and thus she knew that they could never fall. She loved Will. But did he know that? She guessed from his expression when he was running out of the room that he didn't. "Will! Wait! What Charlotte said isn't true!" But she knew he couldn't here her and wasn't even sure that if he could, he would.
She had thought he looked pretty calm when he had entered the library. He certainly looked like that. His hair was still wet and he smelled fresh, clean and soapy. Not at all as if he had been drinking the night before. He wore a brand new shirt and his neck tie was neatly tied. But there was something in his eyes, something dark and maybe she should have paid more attention to that. Now as she was running after him through the institute knowing that if he hid somewhere she would never find him, his time advance and his quick Shadowhunter movement to his advantage, she felt all the 'I should have's' crashing down on her. There were so many times when she should've done something but she was either too proud or too wrapped up in her own emotions to do it. They hadn't spoken in seven weeks, from that incident on… And then, suddenly, she knew where he was going. Maybe it was the memory or maybe just the feeling but suddenly she knew which way to go.
The open door up to the attic confirmed her guess. She ran up, taking the stairs two by two. There was something heavy in the pit of her stomach. She saw him as soon as she entered the roof. He was standing at the right edge, staring down. The heavy thing in her stomach suddenly felt even heavier.
"Will!" she screamed, "Will, wait! Don't!"
He turned around and looked at her, with almost a pitying expression in his deep blue eyes. Then he turned and jumped.
Tessa's heart skipped a beat. Without a thought, she ran towards the edge of the roof and hurtled herself after Will. She was flying through the air and there was only one thing screaming in her mind. "WILL!" Suddenly she felt herself being pulled down. She felt him before she saw him. They locked in one last embrace, lips connected in one last kiss…
…. and then, with a crash, their bodies hit the ground.