Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII

Summary: Reeve muses on his usefulness, or lack thereof. Reeve introspective

For BloodyRoses

Reeve had always been the kid without a talent.

When the teachers had asked them to name something they were good at, he inevitably came up short. His peers cited drawing, singing, dancing and running amongst others. By the time they came to little Reeve Tuesti, he had long since wandered off into daydreams of the things he would invent, if he were only talented enough to bring his ideas into reality.

He said he would be an inventor, and earned himself a weeks worth of mocking jibes until something more fantastical occurred and his whimsical goal was forgotten.

Reeve's teenage years were lonely. He did not fit into any group. He was too unfit for the athletes, too tone deaf for the musicians, too inflexible for the dancers. He was even shunned by the poets, who usually welcomed new blood, finding the inherent practicality of his ideas to be banal and uninspired.

His was an acquired taste, and no one seemed to acquire him.

Shinra, when he became a part of it, was hardly the bastion of freedom he had envisioned. Far from being respected and treated as an equal, he quickly discovered some men were more equal than others here. Reeve was a nobody, a do-gooder scholarship graduate with no ulterior motives to speak of. Being wholly corrupt themselves for the most part, the other executives ignored him, as he was of no use to them.

He found a new lease of life in Cait Sith, finally perfecting the feline robot. Without the restrictions of everyday life and the judgement of people who knew him, he acted out through the doll. When his deception was discovered, Reeve was crushed. He had always admired people who wanted to make a difference, and the version of Avalanche that he had the privilege to vicariously know were just that.

Cait Sith should have remained a secret, business and pleasure should never have been mixed. He should never have given in to the temptation to use the robot to curry favour with Shinra, they would hardly appreciate the effort anyway. He had his chance, and he wasted it.

The after-effects of Meteor left a vacuum of power to be filled. Shinra was a superpower no longer, and as the planet slowly died, Reeve decided for the first time in his life to not talk about doing something, but to really do it. The World Regenesis Organization was formed, and he was chosen to lead it. He had never been a leader, and now he had the whole world looking to him for guidance. There was only so much he could do, and he did not know how to do it all.

The princess of Wutai was a forgiving sort, having been guilty herself of a few acts requiring repentance in the past, and she joined the WRO, apparently harbouring no ill feelings. The rest of her group were more reticent, as well they should be, but did nothing to obstruct him.

Deepground was a time for hard decisions, and he asked each of them individually for their aid. To his surprise, Vincent Valentine was the only one to refuse, although even he could not stay uninvolved when they targeted him specifically. He did all he could to help, but in the end they were ones to save the day once again, whilst Reeve watched from the shadows. It had been bittersweet, knowing he could never live up to the heroism they possessed. It would not stop him from trying though, and he wondered briefly if this made him even more foolish.

He was tired of hiding behind a doll. Time to venture beyond the safety of his office, and see what he was really made of.