Because everything is okay when she walks by, everything is beautiful when her blue eyes clash with yours with such fierce attitude, you can't even move for a couple of seconds, at least not until little miss Vega sits by your side and you remember.
The pretty girl with the blue eyes can't be yours. Settle for Vega, settle for Vega.
After all, Vega is what West isn't. Vega's nice, Vega's sweet & Vega cares about you. West doesn't. West isn't nice, West isn't sweet & West doesn't care about you. (but why would she if she's got Beck?)
But the day you see her drunk out of her mind in the bar where your mom sings jazz was the day when guilt started to gobble up in your innocent & sweet, naïve little mind. You offer her to take her home. She accepts, knowing you'll never harm her.
The next day you realize beck&jade is no more; because now it's beck&tori (and you just want to punch him so hard for leaving an amazing girl like Jade. you clench your fists and bit back harsh comments)
Because beck&tori just sounds so much better" than beck but at least beck&tori doesn't make you feel as jealous as you were when beck&jade still existed.
So that night, you walk up to her house, /not really sure your there/ and you knock on the door. Luckily she answers & with hurtful insults aside, she lets you in. You two go up to her room & eat the pizza you bought with you. She doesn't talk much, but that's okay, because your used to the silence, she just stares at you, as if questioning why your even here. But you try to ignore that weak-kneed stair.
Then she kisses you.
It's not the kiss which one would describe as sweet or pure; it was desperate & needing. So you try to kiss her back, as gently as you can, but she has none of that. Between soft sobs & few blurbs the kiss continues between you two like two leaves flowing in the breeze.
You two fucked that night.
You would love to call it make love but it wasn't that. Because making love is sweet & erotic, it's between two people who love each other and decided to lay down out of love, not desperation.
Because you fucked like it was the last thing you'll ever do. Like wild monkey sex, like rabbits humping each other, with nails clawing down your back as you pounded against her with intensity you never knew you even had in you. She bit you several times and she even moaned. (but she didn't moan your name because you'll never be good enough.) so it was very, very wild.
But jade was jade & you were you. (and that isn't gonna change)
Three weeks of fucking later, you discover that beck&tori is no more.
And, of course, Vega comes crying to you, because you're her best friend. (but that's all you'll ever be.)
And now, when you call Jade, she doesn't answer, she doesn't text you back and she doesn't even look at you sometimes. (that when you realized you were just sex buddies, nothing more and nothing less.)
A week later; beck&jade is together once again and all is right in the world.
But not yours, because your world is always fucked up. Jade hardly talks to you anymore and you start to feel hollow, you try to fall in love with smiles&glitter, but she isn't insults&bitter.
And you want insults&bitter, but she is together once again with perfect&talented.
And your fucking world sinks down.
You knock on her door and she steps out, wearing one of Beck's t-shirts, (so you know they were fucking.) but they probably were actually making love. (something he never did)
"What do you want?" She asks.
You open your mouth but you close it again. It's useless. She steps outside & closes the door.
"Look, André, we're done. In fact we were never together. We were sex buddies; but that's it. Just that, now go away please, I' m kind of busy right now." And then she just shuts the door.
So now you're in Tori's house, trying to play a song but your fingers won't work your magic. Because you don't feel the magic.
Tori sits beside you & you give her a fake smile. She notices in and frowns and then she kisses you.
And you try to savor the glitter&sweet in her kiss, but all you can think of is the bitter&hate in her words.
You marry glitter&sweet years later & bitter&hate marries perfect&talented.
So all is right in the world. Somehow.