Collection: The Yaoi Sex Rules

Author: flannelninja

Purpose: Once upon a time, there was a ninja of flannel that liked slash. Especially uber yummy smexy slash. However, the flannel ninja grew sad on discovering not many people knew the Yaoi Sex Rules. She was determined to make sure everyone became aware… by making creating a series of one-shots based on said Yaoi Sex Rules.

Pairings: Style, Kyman, Creek, Poly, Dip

A/N: Thank you for clicking. This is meant to be a humorous endeavor, not to be flamed or really taken seriously. However, I hope that it helps to inform the fandom. Each chapter will get smuttier and longer... so this story is relatively tame and short. Reviewers get the flannelninja medal of honor, and get to be my next bestest friends.

The One with the Serious Themes

RULE #1-A cock should be no longer than eight inches. After that, it's weird looking. Never say something ridiculous like "his eleven inch lovestick."

Stan and Kyle: just two boys rooming together in college, nothing strange about it. Sure, they called each other "Super best friend," and that did seem a little gay… and sure they knew each other better than anyone in the world. But that didn't mean anything. They were just really great friends. And really great friends do some not really great things, right? Like, hypothetically speaking, sabotaging the only relationship where he or she hadn't thrown up in the other person's mouth at least once. Like, hypothetically speaking, convincing her Stan—forgive me, he or she,-had had sex with a man back in high school, making him a fag and their entire relationship a lie.

Yeah. Really great friends did that all the time. And super best friends… well, they did that even more.

O-o-O-o-O

Kyle watched the clock nervously whilst he sat on his small cot. Soon, Stan would be back from his date with Melody. He would be pissed… or maybe just sad and hurt, and then Kyle would slowly ease away his troubles and—No! What kind of vindictive bitch was Kyle turning into? First, lying to Melody like that, and now he was trying to steal him away? What… what was happening to our sweet but temperamental Jewish boy?

Stan was so much taller than him… so much bigger. What if Melody said too much! What if she told Stan who had told him the lie? So many things could go wrong tonight. He hadn't been thinking when he told Melody that story… he hadn't been thinking straight, or properly, or at all! And now, he was going to deal with the consequences.

Kyle heard a key jamming its way into the door. Shit, It must have been Stan. He opened the door (with what sounded like the longest creak of all time) and staggered inside. The brunette looked drunk off his mind. He must have gotten drunk after—

Stan lunged at Kyle, grabbing him by the throat. "I know what you did, Kyle…" he slurred in a low and somehow sensual voice. "And you're gonna pay!"

"Stan, please!" Kyle knew Stan was a somewhat violent drunk, but he had never expected Stan to actually try and hurt him like this. And he had never expected what happened next.

Stan ground his lips into Kyle's, pressing his tongue against the boy's lips and requesting entrance. Kyle mumbled against the other boy's mouth, opening his mouth on slightly to mutter "This is wrong!"

Stan broke from their sloppy kiss. "Shut up, and take it…" He slurred.

Kyle's eyes shot open… did this mean what it thought he meant? He was finally going to get the college lay he had always dreamed of with his super best friend? This must have been a dream. Stan would regret this in the morning. He could picture it now… the two laying beside each other naked… Stan would ask what had happened, and Kyle… Kyle would have to tell him!

Stan pushed Kyle back so that the shocked and confused boy was lying down, and began to remove his extremely tight pants, and briefs. It took him a few moments to accomplish the task that really took more dexterity than he had in his drunken stupor. Stan gazed down at the redhead's slightly pert member.

Stan pulled off Kyle's shirt and began sucking and nibbling at the Jew's nipples. He could hear moans of pleasure and slight discomfort at the action. Whore, he thought to himself. How could Kyle have lied to his girlfriend like that? He obviously wasn't gay… if he was… would he be able to do this? His trail of nibbles made its way down to Kyle's penis. His tongue groped and clung to the head of his now completely erect appendage. He moved his hand into the boy's hole. He was so tight… Kyle groaned, trying to stifle his embarrassing noises. He suddenly noticed another echo in the small room. He felt droplets on his thighs.

They were Stan's tears, and Stan's cries.

"Why would you do that to me?" Stan asked quietly, now sitting on the floor.

"Because…" Kyle said, his voice barely audibly. "I love you."

There was silence.

"I know." Stan responded, sighing. "I know…" His head tilted back… and he fell asleep.